Jake revisits his low from the last episode, which revolves around friendship dynamics and his shortcomings. Brett presses into the recent and humbling experience Jake had with an old friend, and the two launch into a discussion about the power of self-awareness, safety and virtue when you’re experiencing relational drift with a friend. This is heart-level stuff, but as Jake says, it’s important to engage at this level if you don’t want to be an asshole (plus, Navy SEALs aren’t afraid of talking about their weaknesses for the sake of their team). 

 

Key Points

• Jake recounts a difficult conversation with a good friend who he hadn’t been in touch with for some time
• Jake shares the conviction that he wants to do better in friendships and move away from utilitarian tendencies
• Brett presses into the factors that led to Jake approaching friendship with utility
• How safety plays a significant role in being vulnerable and growing a friendship
• The power of interpretations and agreements
• The blessing that truth is to friendship
• Why Navy SEAL training includes sharing what your greatest weakness is with your team
• How hard conversations can be a blessing and lead to stronger friendship 
• Why we should try not to be an asshole

 

Discussion Questions

1. What stood out to you in this episode?
2. Do you want the kind of friendship that Brett and Jake describe?
3. Are there any friendships that come to mind during this episode where you’ve experienced that ‘relational drift’? Instead of diving into a conversation with them right away, pray about it first, as Brett advised. What comes up for you?

 

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Brett’s low this week leads to an extended conversation about the internal critic, a diminishing voice that tends to show up when we least want it to: during a work meeting, right before an important exam or in an important conversation with a loved one. Where does the diminisher come from and how can we tell the voice of the enemy from the voice of God? Brett and Jake share their reflections and offer suggestions about how we can react maturely in ways that draw us back to reality and our sonship in the Father. 

 

Guiding Quote:

There is no fear in love, but perfect love casts out fear. - 1 John 4:18

 

Key Points

• Brett’s low leads into a discussion about the diminisher voice
• How self-awareness helps us identify the diminisher voice 
• Unhelpful behaviors that we might have in reaction to the voice of the diminisher
• Brett’s shares about fog in Saskatchewan and why this is a great analogy for the inner critic
• Jake and Brett share their definitions of the inner critic or diminisher
• The diminisher viciously attacks our sonship and identity in Father
• The diminisher voice feels so real in the moment, how can we tell what’s from God and what’s not?
• Helpful practices for working against the diminisher in the moment
• How vulnerability with trusted brothers can help you through the fog 

 

Discussion Questions

1. What stood out to you in this episode?
2. What’s an experience you can recall when you felt the impact of the diminisher voice? What allowed you to recognize it for what it was, either in the moment or later?
3. How long does it take for the effects of the fog to pass? 
4. The next time you feel yourself in ‘the fog,’ what’s a method you can use to prevent you from spiraling? Ideas from the episode are: talk to a trusted brother or friend, affirm someone else, journal the feelings and bring it to the Lord. 

 

References

• none

 

Connect with Way of the Heart:

Facebook: @wayoftheheartpodcast

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Website: www.wayoftheheartpodcast.com

 

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As men, we often find it difficult to look at our woundedness and need for healing. Why is that, and what can we do to engage the process better in this important area? In this episode, renowned Catholic psychologist Dr. Bob Schuchts joins Jake and Brett to discuss healing in a deeply personal way. The three men share examples of healing in their own lives, and Dr. Bob helps Jake work through a childhood memory live on the episode. You can hear more from Dr. Bob and Jake on their podcast, Restore the Glory. Don’t forget to check the show notes for many helpful resources! 

 

Guiding Quote:

“Healing is an essential dimension of the apostolic mission and of Christianity. When understood at a sufficiently deep level, this expresses the entire content of redemption.” - Pope Benedict XVI (Jesus of Nazareth)

 

Key Points

• How men’s ministry led to Dr. Bob’s healing work
• Off script discussion of the phenomenon of Jordan Peterson
• Dr. Bob shares what comes to mind when he thinks of healing in men
• Understanding why men resist healing
• The struggle against powerlessness as men
• The Seven Deadly Wounds that occurred in the Garden of Eden
• Description of the anatomy of a wound: wound, beliefs, vows
• How we can get a hold of what’s happening within our hearts
• Dr. Bob helps Jake break down the anatomy of a wound from his own life
• Hope and the Seven Signs of Healing

 

Discussion Questions

1. What stood out to you in this episode?
2. Do you fear the feeling of powerlessness?
3. What are some everyday moments that have happened in the past week that can point you to what’s going on in your heart right now?

 

References

• Restore the Glory (podcast) with Jake Khym and Dr. Bob Schuchts
• Be Healed (book), Dr. Bob Schuchts
• Be Devoted (book), Dr. Bob Schuchts
• Restore the Glory Episodes 12-16: Anatomy of a Wound series
• Anatomy of a Wound (image)
• Seven Deadly Wounds
• JPII Healing Center
• The work of Jordan Peterson
• Wild at Heart (book), John Eldredge
• Jesus of Nazareth (book), Pope Benedict XVI

 

Connect with Way of the Heart:

Facebook: @wayoftheheartpodcast

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Website: www.wayoftheheartpodcast.com

 

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Loneliness is epidemic among men today. The thing is, we’re not meant to live without deep friendship. Join Jake and Brett as they get real about the strength they’ve found in their own friendship and how they have intentionally invested in it over time. They share why every man needs true brothers who will walk with them through the trenches of life, and how to go about building friendships like that.  

 

Key Quote:

Be a son. Love the process. Close the gap. 

 

Key Points

• Jake asks Brett a vulnerable question about their friendship
• The importance of ‘checking in’ with our brothers
• The power of consistency and presence (companionship) in brotherhood
• Some simple things you can do to walk with someone through a hard time
• Learning long-suffering and being okay with it
• The difference between deep ‘3 am’ friendships and acquaintances
• Why men need friends
• Seasons of life that can be difficult that call for the support of good brothers: marriage challenges, parenting, work, health, mental health
• The intentional process of building a deep friendship
• It’s okay to be on your own but not all the time - we all need brotherhood

 

Discussion Questions

1. What stood out to you in this episode?
2. Do I worry that walking with a brother who is going through a difficult time will be draining? How can I show up for them in a way that simply offers my presence? 
3. Have I ever experienced what Jake calls ‘long suffering’? Do I trust that it can make me a better man if I engage with it well?
4. Who are my ‘3 am friendships’? If I can’t think of anyone, who in my life would I like to intentionally go deeper with to get there? 

 

Connect with Way of the Heart:

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Website: www.wayoftheheartpodcast.com

 

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In today’s episode, Brett and Jake engage with deep questions of the heart as they discuss the shrinking church. While they begin by citing Canadian stats, this trend is evident in other Western countries. Brett and Jake address why it is that culturally speaking, Jesus isn’t seen as relevant anymore. They also share some thoughts on why it’s crucial that the Church as a whole accepts a share in the responsibility of this downward trend. The following episode does not seek to provide all the answers to these difficult topics, but rather to engage in a meaningful conversation about them. We hope you find this conversation enlightening as we journey together in the way of the heart.

 

Key Quote:

The Catholic Church almost doesn’t even need a defense. It’s more like a lion; just let it out of its cage and it takes care of itself. - Dr. Scott Hahn

 

Key Points

• Religious affiliation has dropped significantly in the past 40 years, with Covid adding an extra blow
• The importance of relevance and leadership on the practice of faith
• The cultural shift from believing that what oppresses man is sin, to the belief that oppression comes from human ignorance, which removes our need for a Saviour
• Why Jesus must be central, and things which distract our gaze from him
• Some basic psychology and why our lack of fulfillment leads us either to numb or to embrace faith
• The importance of accepting responsibility as leaders and as the Church as a whole
• The challenge faced by leaders of Christian institutions to stay true to Christ as we move away from Christendom
• Why our podcast is not about answers, but rather engaging the questions of the heart

 

Discussion Questions

• What stood out to you in this episode?
• Examine your own life. Do you live as if Jesus is relevant to your everyday life? If not, why?
• Are you numbing or avoiding in any areas of your life?
• Where are the places that you appear to be Christian but you're not truly walking the walk?

 

References

• CTV News Article: Number of Canadians reporting religious affiliations at all-time low: StatCan
• From Christendom to Apostolic Mission (book)
• Live Not By Lies, Rod Dreher (book)

 

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Website: www.wayoftheheartpodcast.com

 

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Editing by ForteCatholic.com

How often do we pause to think about how we’re spending our time? Are the things that are taking up our attention truly making us feel alive? In this episode, Jake and Brett explore a list of the things they turn to for life. Naturally, prayer, close relationships and sports make the list, but there are also a few surprises!

 

Key Quote:

“I am the way, and the truth, and the life.” - John 14:6

 

Key Points

• What we mean when we say, “What gives you life?”
• The misunderstanding of happiness and the tendency to go for an ‘all or nothing’ approach
• Aristotle’s Four Levels of Happiness
• Things that bring Jake and Brett life
• The importance of relationships for our happiness
• Learning to trust in God’s abundance
• Helping in small ways can have a huge impact on the life of someone else

 

Discussion Questions

• What stood out to you in this episode?
• What brings you life and makes you feel alive? Are you doing those things?
• What might you have to dial back in order to make space for more of what brings you life? 

 

References

• Aristotle’s Four Levels of Happiness, Spitzer Center
• Suddenly Les Miserables (2012), song
• Patrick Roy, NHL Hall of Fame

 

Connect with Way of the Heart:

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Website: www.wayoftheheartpodcast.com

 

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Editing by ForteCatholic.com

Now is not a very popular time to be a Catholic. The culture which was once steeped in Christian ideals is now hostile to those same ideals and beliefs. In this episode, Jake and Brett discuss a book that’s currently taking the Catholic world by storm which can help us understand this shift. “From Christendom to Apostolic Mission” is a short and pithy book that’s easy to read and extremely relevant, giving us a lens through which to understand how the Church fits into the current culture. The return to an Apostolic age presents it’s own opportunities and hope for a more authentic Church.

 

Key Quote:

“We are at the end of Christendom. Not Christianity, not the Church. Christendom is the economic, political, and social life as inspired by Christian principles. That is ending. We live in it from day to day, and we do not see the decline.” - Bishop Fulton Sheen

 

Key Points

• Christendom refers to the society in which the Church is planted, a society that is animated by Christian principles 
• Christendom spanned from the reign of the Emperor Constantine to the 1960s
• The ‘Apostolic mode’ is not a new mode of church - it goes back to the early church
• Apostolic Christianity leaves no room for duplicity, hypocrisy. It is the narrow way.
• The importance of being grounded in eternal truths
• Looking at the culture, not in an alarmist way but taking stock of the facts, it’s not a popular time to be a Catholic
• Apostolic Mission calls us to live authentic, Christian lives

 

Discussion Questions

1. Do you find it difficult to live out Christian values in our current culture?
2. How does the shift to Apostolic Mission intimidate and/or inspire you as a Christian man?
3. What’s one area of your life that you feel called to greater authenticity and integrity in living your faith?

 

References

• From Christendom to Apostolic Mission: Pastoral Strategies for an Apostolic Age (book)

 

Connect with Way of the Heart:

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Website: www.wayoftheheartpodcast.com

 

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Editing by ForteCatholic.com

Our lives are increasingly distracted, and our constantly connected state can threaten to overwhelm us. Jake and Brett discuss how the art of benevolent detachment can help you ‘get your life back’ and stay focused on what’s most important. Benevolent detachment allows us to re-prioritize our time to be more loving and frees us from self-reliance. It can help us to live happier and holier lives.

 

Guiding Scripture:

"Cast all your cares on Him for He cares for you.” 1 Peter 5:7

 

Key Points

• The downsides of relentless connection through technology and our increasingly distracted state
• The importance of developing healthy habits 
• How detachment can help you to be more loving 
• An explanation of how self-reliance indicates a lack of trust in the Father’s love
• Benevolent detachment means we are not ruled by needs or opportunities 

 

Discussion Questions

• What things could you use some detachment from?
• What “rules” do you have in place to be able to separate yourself from work while off the clock?
• In what ways do you view yourself as an orphan or a son in your relationship with God?

 

References

• Get Your Life Back by John Eldredge (book)
• Pause App by John Eldredge
• News of the World with Tom Hanks (movie)
• The Subtle Art of Not Giving a F**k by Mark Manson (book)
• Surrender Novena by Fr. Dolindo

 

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• Instagram: @wayoftheheartpodcast
• Website: www.wayoftheheartpodcast.com

 

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Editing by ForteCatholic.com

We all have times in our life where the stress piles up and the tasklist seems endless. This week, Jake and Brett go down an unscripted route as they dive a little deeper into the reasons behind our desire to control as men. They talk about how to handle busy seasons as a man of God, how to find some sanity and learn the important difference between domination and dominion. 

 

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Website: www.wayoftheheartpodcast.com

 

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Key Points

- Overcoming an endless list of tasks

- What in our life do we try to control?

- Looking below the surface of control to our interior state: are we seeking domination or dominion

- The difference between domination and dominion

- In times of chaos, find simple tasks that you can complete 

- The difference between mistakes and sins 

 

Discussion Questions

- What struck you about this episode?

- How do you typically deal with stressful, task-heavy seasons of life?

- What things in your life are you seeking to control in order to satisfy your own needs (domination)?

- What are some things in your life that you are able to approach with a spirit of dominion? How do you see fruitfulness in that dominion?

- What tasks that help you emotionally regulate?

- What have you learned from your mistakes?

 

Editing by ForteCatholic.com

This week, Jake and Brett take a special, extended look at their highs and lows. They both share great stories of what God is doing for them in their families and what new adventures they’re tackling at the moment. They also share about challenges due to Covid, election season and returning to school. We are all still dealing with the difficulties of a stressful and disunified time in our world and we hope this conversation reminds you that you're not alone. 

 

Connect with Way of the Heart:- Facebook: @wayoftheheartpodcast  - Instagram: @wayoftheheartpodcast - Website: www.wayoftheheartpodcast.com

 

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Key Points- There is blessing in experiencing the wider Church, not just how it is experienced from our perspective. - Story about obtaining relics- Jake trying a new adventure- Signs of a healthy discernment - Disunity in the world weighing on our hearts - Not feeling restored after Summer like usual - Dealing with stressful topics internally like Covid and elections 

 

Discussion Questions - What struck you about this episode?- What are your highs and lows this week? Share them with friends or loved one.- What are the signs in any current areas of discernment that you are making healthy decisions? What might be the red flags that you are not discerning well?- What is the last adventure you went on? - How can you find rest in this season?

 

Editing by ForteCatholic.com