Puritan poet Anne Bradstreet once wrote, “Wisdom without an inheritance is better than an inheritance without wisdom.”
Every parent hopes the resources they leave behind will bless their children. But a financial inheritance can have very different effects depending on the person receiving it. That is why wise wealth transfer requires more than simply deciding how much to leave—it requires careful thought, prayer, and an understanding of each child’s unique circumstances.
Ron Blue, co-founder of Kingdom Advisors and longtime teacher on biblical stewardship, calls this the uniqueness principle.
Equal Love Doesn’t Always Require Equal Treatment
Studies show that many parents divide their estates equally among their children. There is certainly nothing wrong with that approach, but Ron encourages parents not to make equality the automatic default.
As he explains, God loves each of His children equally, but He often treats them uniquely. The same can be true within a family.
Children may grow up in the same home and sit around the same dinner table, yet adulthood can take them in very different directions. They may marry differently, parent differently, pursue different careers, experience job losses, accumulate different levels of wealth, or develop very different approaches to money.
Those differences can matter when determining how an inheritance should be passed down.
The question is not simply, “How can I divide everything evenly?” A better question may be, “How can I steward these resources in a way that truly benefits each child?”
Three Questions to Ask Before Leaving an Inheritance
When Ron and his wife, Judy, began thinking seriously about their own estate plan, they used three questions to evaluate what an inheritance might mean for each of their five children.
1. What is the worst thing that could happen?
Imagine giving a particular amount of money to a particular child. How could that money negatively affect his or her life?
For one child, the concern may be minimal. The money might simply be given away.
For another, however, a large inheritance could create tension within a marriage, reinforce unhealthy financial habits, reduce motivation to work, or create other unintended consequences.
2. How serious would that outcome be?
Not every negative possibility carries the same weight. Some may be inconvenient but manageable. Others could damage relationships, character, or financial stability.
Parents should carefully consider the seriousness of each potential consequence.
3. How likely is it to happen?
Finally, consider probability. A possible problem is different from a probable one.
Together, these questions provide a framework for thinking beyond percentages and dollar amounts to the actual impact an inheritance could have.
Your Estate Plan Should Change as Life Changes
Another important part of the uniqueness principle is recognizing that circumstances rarely remain the same.
When Ron and Judy first began asking these questions decades ago, their children were at very different stages of life than they are today. Careers changed. Marriages developed. Families grew. Financial circumstances shifted.
As a result, Ron says the answers they would give today are very different from the answers they would have given 25 years ago.
That is an important reminder: An estate plan should not necessarily be a one-time decision.
As circumstances change, parents may need to revisit both their assumptions and their plans.
Don’t Pass Wealth Without Passing Wisdom
Underlying Ron’s approach is one of his most important principles: Don’t pass wealth unless you pass wisdom.
