We Are Old, Get Over It!

Our conversation today shows us why connection matters so much across species, and to do so we're using as our example: bunny rabbits.

If you know, you know - rabbits are very social creatures, who rely on companionship in a lot of ways just as much as humans do. And in turn, that means they often demonstrate similar signs of grief, sadness, detachment, depression as well as joy, healing and happiness, all thanks to social connections.

Author Lydia Lyle Gibson, Senior Editor at Harvard Magazine, is here to talk about her feature article on Petunia, a rabbit whose grief after losing her bondmate led to an unexpected second chance at companionship. Did you know that there is such a thing as "speed dating for rabbits"?!

We discuss how rabbit bonding works, what grief can look like in an animal, and how the Harvard Study of Adult Development reinforces the idea that relationships are central to health and happiness. Lydia also shares her path into writing, the personal losses that shaped how she wrote the piece, and why it is never too late to form a new connection.

Resources from today's episode:

https://www.harvardmagazine.com/writer/lydialyle-gibson
https://www.linkedin.com/in/lydialylegibson/

00:00 Lydia Gibson’s Writing Journey
08:21 What is Rabbit Speed Dating
10:01 Petunia’s Grief After Loss
13:25 Finding a New Companion
17:19 The Science of Connection
20:26 Why Companionship Matters
23:33 Courage to Connect After Loss

Visit weareoldpodcast.com to learn more about Ken and the show!

How do you learn how to read a room, and recognize what jokes or topics are going to land well? Or could send you scurrying for the Exit sign (or the bar)?

It's a tricky and nuanced skill, and comedian Joel Brill is here to show us how he does it.

Joel is into his 2nd career, one he dreamed of for years and then was finally able to pursue, with retirement in his back pocket. His comedy stems from his family background, including a joke-telling father, a funny mother, and a grandmother who loved dirty jokes. Once Joel's own kids were off on their own, and his career in sales had come to its natural conclusion, he could finally start getting back on stage.

At this point though, the material had changed, moving away from sex jokes and random vulgarities and leaning more into clean material for most audiences. How does he decide which to do? Knowing your audience, including when vulgarity works and when it does not.

Joel recounts a chaotic club experience where one political punchline sparked a brawl in the room, complete with glasses flying and a bouncer who did not step in, and explains why he still does a Parkinson’s joke, saying people who are affected by it often come up afterward and thank him for telling the truth in a funny way.

Which really speaks to the heart of comedy: when done from caring and respect, even the most awkward or difficult subjects can make someone feel better, and hopefully find a bit of joy.

Resources from today's episode:

https://joelbrill.com/
https://www.youtube.com/@joelbrill5752
https://www.instagram.com/joelbrill
https://www.tiktok.com/@joelbrillcomedian
https://www.facebook.com/JoelBrillComedian/

0:00 The Joy of Comedy and Aging
3:21 Joel Brill’s Journey to Comedy
9:25 Memorable Moments on Stage
14:55 Navigating Sensitive Topics in Comedy
20:35 Crafting Jokes for Special Occasions
23:20 Experiences of Bombing on Stage
27:40 Jokes That Divide: Family Reactions
30:51 Recognition and Its Discomforts
32:14 Promoting Comedy and Upcoming Shows
34:00 Merchandising in Comedy

Visit weareoldpodcast.com to learn more about Ken and the show!

We're circling back to Seniors' Centers today, and doing so with a particularly impressive and influential one: The Hannan Center in Detroit, MI, which for over 100 years has functioned as a social safety net for older adults.

Vincent Tilford is the president and CEO, and tells us about the center's origins as a home for older adults who had lost financial security after a spouse’s death.

It has since expanded to a broader hub for social work services, adult day programming, lifelong learning, and community outreach.

A key emphasis as well is the concept of "intergenerational programs," which bring people together of all ages to share in activities, creative pursuits, conversation and social engagement. One highlight being the Emerge art program, a juried showcase for artists 55 and older that features sculpture, textiles, fine art, paper maché and video.

The Hannan Center is a wonderful model of positivity, caregiving and civic contribution in action.

But we also address some of the stereotypes about aging, especially around men, loneliness, and the assumption that older adults are no longer contributing. So often, people form an inaccurate and indeed inappropriate impression of someone who may show signs of physical or mental handicap, which hides the incredibly dynamic and influential achievements they pursued throughout their lives. It's not just about who you are in this moment, but a lifetime of lived experience.

And so we refuse to let aging become a reason for being overlooked. Always remind people to not judge a book by its cover!

Resources from today's episode:

https://hannan.org/
https://hannan.org/blog/

00:00 Embracing Aging as a Journey
05:29 Luella Hannan’s Vision and Historical Context
08:02 Combating Ageism and Invisibility
11:56 The Importance of Arts in Aging
15:10 Changing the Narrative Around Older Adults
18:28 The Impact of Loneliness on Older Men
23:00 Creating Community Connections
26:27 The Secret Sauce of the Hannon Center
28:52 Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs in Aging
30:49 The Importance of Purpose and Community

Visit weareoldpodcast.com to learn more about Ken and the show!

Our last episode of Season 3, in June, talked about the trend of "voluntourism," and how typically it causes more harm than good. From money that could be better spent elsewhere, emotional connections with children that last a week (but for them, years), or simply showing up at an orphanage or village for vanity purposes, there are many fraught reasons to avoid the practice.

Author Ken Budd doesn't dispute that, but sheds light on his own story of using service travel and volunteering to help him process grief, his legacy and how he felt about his time on Earth. Ken was careful to do research and choose projects based on good references and objectives, but he found that not all "voluntourism" is bad. You just have to be very conscious of why you're doing it.

There's a difference between helping and helping well, and Ken learned to view the trips less as traditional volunteering and more like being an intern, learning by doing and staying humble about what he could contribute. Some service was genuinely useful, especially when volunteers supported skilled professionals, like helping scientists with data collection in Ecuador, or helping students practice English in China.

And the emotional side of service was reflected in how travel and physical work helped Ken process grief, and gave him meaningful relationships and memories.

As a professional writer and author, Ken was well-placed to document his travels and experiences, which resulted in the book, The Voluntourist: A Six-Country Tale of Love, Loss, Fatherhood, Fate, and Singing Bon Jovi in Bethlehem.

His current work includes freelance writing, scam and fraud stories for AARP, and guiding at Monticello in Virginia, which gives him the same kind of out-of-comfort-zone experience that shaped his travel.

Resources from today's episode:

Ken Budd's website https://www.kenbudd.us/

Find The Voluntourist https://www.harpercollins.com/products/the-voluntourist-ken-budd?variant=32128555188258

00:00 Ken Budd's search for purpose
06:32 How volunteering began after Hurricane Katrina
09:10 Grief, legacy, and stepping outside your comfort zone
14:37 Orphanage tourism and unintended harm
20:15 How to volunteer responsibly
27:36 Health scares, aging, and embracing joy
29:12 What meaningful volunteering really looks like
31:30 Lasting memories, human connection

Visit weareoldpodcast.com to learn more about Ken and the show!

If you remember our episode from last season with Nora Duncan of the AARP Connecticut, we were talking about online scams and fraud, and she mentioned the particular case of a woman in Connecticut who lost about $1 million to an online romance fraud scam.

That woman is with us today, and she's on a mission to share her remarkable story, demonstrating incredible bravery in making sure people know about it.

Jackie Crenshaw takes us through the full scope of what happened, from how she got into the "relationship" in the first place, the slow build, the gradual increase of money, and the moment where it all came crashing down.

What might be most disturbing is that the police at the time, whom she informed before cashing any checks, did not seem to take the case too seriously. Fortunately, that appears to be changing and improving at last, but it's another part of this cautionary tale that you need to be persistent, keep asking questions, and make sure those whose job it is to take action will actually do so.

The AARP hotline was an absolute lifesaver, so if you or someone you know is ever in a position even remotely close to as serious as Jackie's, don't hesitate to call. They will help you. Don't let the shame keep you silent. You're not alone. As Jackie says, "If you don't fight back, they win."

And Jackie doesn't call herself a victim anymore, but a survivor.

This type of crime is more and more rampant, so we need to inform and protect those close to us to make sure they don't fall into the same trap.

Resources from today's episode:

The AARP public service announcement with Jackie that ran for a few weeks last year https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xSly30_s-Ao
Our Season 3 Episodes With Nora Duncan:
https://youtu.be/DXmEtXM-E9Q
https://youtu.be/TS8SQCkYjnU
AARP Fraud Watch Network - https://www.aarp.org/money/scams-fraud/
AARP Fraud Watch hotline 1-877-908-3360

0:00 Romance Fraud and AI Scams
4:43 Building Trust and Emotional Manipulation
7:35 The Crypto Investment Scam
13:32 Law Enforcement's Response
16:34 Turning Experience Into Advocacy
20:39 The Moment Everything Changed
22:32 The Financial and Emotional Fallout
25:11 Tracing the Scammers
31:13 From Victim to Survivor
34:14 Raising Awareness and Helping Others

Visit weareoldpodcast.com to learn more about Ken and the show!

Our third expert joins us this week to conclude our series on falls and fall "preparedness" (notice we didn't say "prevention") - Dr. Neil Alexander is from the University of Michigan, and an expert in postural control, fall injury recovery and fall injury prevention.

That's really it in a nutshell: we can't prevent falls 100% (although with our expert doctors' advice we can come close), but we we can absolutely try and prevent are the devastating injuries that are associated with falls.

Dr. Neil's Mobility Assessment and Enhancement Clinic focuses on assessing someone's risk factor for falling, and what has influenced that risk. To some extend it's medication, but he cautions against cutting off medication cold turkey. Certain medications can be very important for controlling things like depression, anxiety, psychoses etc. But, they might also contribute to vertigo and imbalance issues. So we can't have one extreme or the other, but must find a balance.

We learn about mindful movement, balance training and how to fall safely ("tuck and roll," and really try to avoid sticking your hands out, as instinctive as that is!).

Resources from today's episode:

https://injurycenter.umich.edu/
https://injurycenter.umich.edu/falls-prevention-resources/
[email protected]

0:00 Understanding Fall Risks and Medications
8:31 Intrinsic and Extrinsic Factors of Falls
11:21 Strategies for Fall Prevention
13:55 Training for Safe Falling
16:30 The Importance of Mindful Movement
19:15 Research and Future Directions
29:17 Important Resources

Visit weareoldpodcast.com to learn more about Ken and the show!

Our series on falls and fall prevention continues with the expertise of Dr. Thomas Gill, of Yale University, a specialist in geriatrics and fall prevention.

This episode is a good partner to the last one which focused on medication, so be sure to circle back to the conversation with Dr. Michael Steinman, if you haven't listened to it already!

Today, we're going deeper into fall prevention, exercise, fall preparation and ultimately, what to do if (or when) you fall. Because we can't assume that it will never happen. Indeed, 30% of persons over the age of 65 will have at least one fall over the course of a year. About a third of these lead to some sort of injury, like a hip fracture.

But we can absolutely do our best to avoid them, while staying prepared if it does happen.

Dr. Thomas talks to us about the value of Tai Chi and yoga for improving flexibility and muscle strength, as well as preparing your home with good, solid furniture, support bars, and eliminating any obstacles that could trigger a fall, like loose rugs or those tables where the legs stick out. Who thought that was a good idea?

And if you do fall, you need to know how to get up. That might be the hardest, and most dangerous, part of all. Knowing what to do is equally important knowledge for your partners, loved ones, or anyone who is on standby to help.

Our thanks to Dr. Gill for his time and contribution to this important series!

0:00 Why fall prevention matters for older adults
4:13 Falls are not a normal part of aging
6:28 Common fall risks
11:15 Hip fractures and the serious consequences of a fall
13:42 Effective ways to prevent falls
17:15 Exercise, Tai Chi, yoga, strength, and balance
19:24 Preparing for a fall and protecting the head and hips
26:46 What to do after a fall and how to get up safely
29:56 Living alone, emergency support, and preventing long waits for help
32:13 Thoughts on independence and fall prevention

Visit weareoldpodcast.com to learn more about Ken and the show!

If there's any one thing that will help you live a long and healthy life, it's making sure you're prepared for falling.

Note that we didn't say, "making sure you never fall." Falls happen, we can never prevent them one hundred percent.

But what you can do is prepare yourself so that if you do fall, the impacts are as minimal as possible.

Dr. Mark Steinman is a Geriatrician at the University of California, San Francisco, who generously shared his time to talk about the importance of both preventing and preparing for falls, and all kinds of useful, practical tips that can have a direct impact on your life and well-being.

This means everything from looking at your current medication, what drugs to avoid, being proactive in talking about your medication and your history of falls, and of course the various safety hazards around the house.

We may expect that our doctors will be right on top of all our medication and health history. But they typically have all of 30 seconds to review our chart, and are juggling who knows how many patients and cases per day. We need to come prepared to our appointments, ready to talk about our medication, ask specific questions, and help our doctors and nurses help us. Be proactive, doctors are super busy!

Dr. Steinman emphasizes how by being proactive and prepared, you can greatly reduce the risk of falls, and if or when they do happen, minimize the chances of serious impact. Give yourself the tools to move through the day with confidence and safety!

“The easiest way to think of medications that increase the risk of falls is any medication that changes a person's ability to clearly perceive and navigate the world.”

00:00 Why falls are a serious concern for older adults
02:17 How medications can increase fall risk
06:17 Why fatal falls may be increasing
08:40 Deprescribing: reviewing medicines safely
10:31 Sleep medications and over-the-counter risks
14:33 How to raise medication concerns with your doctor
22:58 Home safety, vision, strength, and balance
25:20 Walking, regular movement, and staying active
29:43 Closing message on reducing medication-related fall risk

Visit weareoldpodcast.com to learn more about Ken and the show!

Get ready to pull out your record collection: this episode is going to send you running to your turntable! Or remembering to go buy one!

Eddie Bruce left his management job of 25 years to open a vinyl record store in his hometown of Cartersville, Georgia, northwest of Atlanta, a story that feels straight out of a movie. He now spends his days talking music, helping people find and restore their lost treasures, and selling great music in high fidelity.

Ken approached Eddie with the suggestion of coming on the podcast to talk about life as a record store owner in the 2020's, and to bring his own, personal list of favorite 25 albums of all time.

You'll be reminded of lots of great classics, along with a few surprising gems that often float under the radar. With back stories and context to go with them.

Eddie tells us how vinyl records are cleaned, when is a record too damaged to keep, where they get the highest quality vinyl for the real audiophiles, and how many copies of Dark Side of the Moon and Rumours even his little shop continues to sell every year.

If you're in Cartersville, there's lots to see! It's known as the Museum City of Georgia, perhaps even the South, including three that are acknowledged by the Smithsonian. And, you can wander through the trendy downtown, go past the quaint train station, and find RocknShop Vinyl Records: drop in and say hello!

Resources from today's episode:

RocknShop, 21 N. Wall Street, Cartersville, GA

Facebook https://www.facebook.com/RocknShopCartersville/

Instagram https://www.instagram.com/rocknshop.cville/?hl=en

Chapters

0:00 Introduction

03:35 Eddie’s path into music and RocknShop

08:19 What the shop buys and what’s playing in-store

10:21 The album-list format and the one record to save

14:21 Foundational picks from the ’60s and early ’70s

21:01 Seventies classics: Led Zeppelin, Allman Brothers, Pink Floyd, and more

34:55 Late-’70s essentials: Eagles, Fleetwood Mac, Billy Joel, and ELO

44:14 Eighties favorites: U2, Def Leppard, and Tom Petty

47:35 Nineties and 2000s picks: R.E.M., Tom Petty, and Coldplay

52:01 Closing thoughts and visiting RocknShop

Visit weareoldpodcast.com to learn more about Ken and the show!

Over the last few short years, it seems like not just gambling apps and ads have popped up everywhere, but that every thing can suddenly now be bet on. Even the weather, election outcomes, news events:

Sounds like a problem, doesn't it?

Our guest today, journalist Dustin Gouker, points out that gambling and betting have been around since time immemorial. People have and will continue to find ways to bet on anything. Dustin has spent years studying and writing about the issue, covering the rise of daily fantasy sports, legalized sports betting, and prediction markets.

But, it's the access that has become far easier, and is thus making gambling more prevalent.

It's a fine line between something that's done for fun and entertainment versus becoming a genuine problem and addiction. We go and spend $20 at the movies, or $50 to go to a sports event, purely to be entertained and enjoy ourself. So why is it any different watching that game at home, and spending $50 placing bets on various outcomes? You might even win some money! That's not going to happen when you pull out your wallet at Yankee Stadium!

Ok, but clearly that $50 can turn into something far, far more.

So today we're talking about the impact of sports betting and gambling opportunities these days, how to recognize warning signs, and in particular how seniors need to be aware of warning signs and gray areas that can hook you in, without you realizing it.

Resources from today's episode:

1-800-MY-RESET by the National Council on Problem Gambling.

There's also 1-800-GAMBLER, run by state organizations that deal with problem gambling.

https://www.linkedin.com/in/dustin-gouker-876857b5/

https://closingline.substack.com/

https://nexteventhorizon.substack.com/

Chapters:

00:00 - Gambling as one of humanity’s oldest behaviors
00:57 - Fossil shells, a dinner bet, and the origin of the episode idea
08:11 - How many Americans use sports betting apps
11:29 - Why almost everyone loses in the long run
16:40 - Setting a unit and sticking to a gambling budget
20:40 - How betting apps are set up and funded
22:43 - Regulated operators versus offshore gambling sites
24:15 - State-by-state rules and why Florida is a special case
27:13 - What prediction markets are and how they work
33:39 - Is prediction trading investing or gambling?
35:13 - The biggest trap of having a casino in your pocket
41:10 - The future of gambling, gamification, and financialization
44:10 - What to do if you or a family member has a gambling problem

Visit weareoldpodcast.com to learn more about Ken and the show!