We Have Darkvision

This week, The Gang’s troubles get worse. Bort finds out who was calling his name, Nubz is being stalked by a sea monster and Kroy is stuck in a deal with El Diablo.

“With these hungry eyesOne look at Chuul and I can’t disguiseI’ve got hungry eyesI feel the magic between Chuul and I”– Did you know Dirty Dancing was originally a horror movie?

Hey kids, get out your bibs and hop in the van! I hope you’re hungry because we’re heading down to Red Lobster for their All-You-Can-Eat Chuul special! It’s only around for Halloween season, so cram that sweet, sweet crustacean meat in your gullet while you can!

Umm, Chuul are magic lobsters. That’s the main takeaway from this episode. But of course Alex and Kyle talk about it more in depth. Also, Kyle learns about a conspiracy theory he’d never heard of and… it kind of makes sense to him?

Give the episode a listen and then help us decide, are Chuul friends or fiends?

“I can’t even do anything because I don’t have an orb” said Kroy.And that pretty much sums up this episode.

Bort is in the abyss, Nubz makes an emergency exit and Kroy is stuck with El Diablo and the Gex. Nothing is going right for The Gang.

“It is dull, Son of Adam, to drink without eating,” said the Queen presently. “What would you like best to eat?”“The roasted corpse of my enemies. Or, failing that, Turkish Delight, please, your Majesty,” said Chimera. -From C.S. Lewis’ lesser known novel ‘The Lion, the Goat and the Dragon’

The Chimera is one of the most famous monsters from Greek mythology and that means Alex recognized it right away.  So this week, instead of diving straight into the D&D lore, Alex gives us a little lesson in mythology.Then, get this: it turns out chimeras are a real actual thing that exists in the world. Our world. Like, the world that you’re sitting and reading this sentence in. So Alex tells us a little bit about the science behind real life chimeras.

After that, Kyle talks about the D&D version of the creature, which is pretty cool. But after learning about the real life chimera, it honestly seems a little silly.

Anyway, check out the episode and help us decide if it’s a friend or a fiend.

The Gang’s been split up. Nubz and Kroy are in the lighthouse dealing with the consequences of their actions (or rather, their inaction). Bort is spiraling out on the ocean. Honestly, this whole mission is a bit of a sinking ship and the Gex seem to have the upper hand.

“Carrion my wayward sonYou’ll be a feast when you are doneLay your weary head to restDon’t you cry no more”–Turns out this song is about eating the rotting corpse of your dead child. Man, Kansas is fucking dark.

The Carrion Crawler is probably the grossest creature we’ve learned about so far. This Putrid Party Monster will haunt your dreams and make you rethink your feelings about bugs. And it doesn’t even matter if you liked or disliked bugs. If you thought beetles were cool before, now you’re gonna think they’re disgusting. If you already hated grubs, we’ll you’re gonna live in a nightmare world after this.

Why does Wizards of the Coast do this to us?

You probably don’t even have to listen to the episode to figure out if Kyle and Alex think the Carrion Crawler is a friend or fiend, but you might as well give the episode a listen anyway.

We’re sorry.

This week The Gang tries to escape from the Gex headquarters in order to make it back to the lighthouse in time to help Raf. Also, everyone becomes a pirate for a bit.

“And that’s where the horsey stung meAnd I had a feverish dreamWith revenge and doubtTonight, we smoke them out

Holy Smokes! Alex guessed right this week! She correctly named the creature we discuss. We’re all very proud of her, but also, it was a pretty easy one. I mean, who doesn’t know what a centaur is?

Anyway, Alex did her own little bit of research before recording and she teaches Kyle a little bit of the “real” history of these unsettlingly sexy equine hybrids. Then Kyle goes into the D&D lore.

They also come up with possibly the best band name ever.

Give the episode a listen and then let us know what you think. Are Centaurs friends or fiends?

Bort and Kroy go through a roller coaster of emotions before being reunited with Nubz. Then they tangle with a Gex sympathizer and Bort barfs. Again.

“Because I’m bad, I’m bad come onYou know I’m bad, I’m bad come on, you knowYou know I’m bad, I’m bad come on, you knowAnd the whole world has toAnswer right nowJust to tell you once againWho’s bad”–Michael Jackson was definitely singing about a Cambion. Because Cambions are bad. But also, I don’t know what any of the other lyrics are, so I could be wrong.

Every week we ask ‘is this creature a friend or a fiend?’ Well, Cambion are The Offspring (na na why don’t you get a job) of a fiend and a humanoid. And that sentence right there answers the question. But that’s not  really a spoiler for the episode or anything because there a lot of interesting stuff to learn about these Darth Maul rip offs.

And, as a bonus game, cane you figure out what character from We Have Darkvision is a character before Alex figures it out?