World Cups chickens, digging big trenches, pizza delivery firemen and a bunch of stories about dogs; this episode has it all!

Plus, Turch rants about how people compete about how little sleep they have, and a whole bunch of other things that these people do sync up to create the most annoying kind of person.

Kieran on the other hand talks about the struggle of hearing loud people on the train.

With the World Cup on Turch brings in an article about a chicken. Whats the connection?

Kieran tells us about the great idea to dig a trench cutting ties with Qatar.

Kmart becomes another villain of the show, with news.com.au

And sex dolls are back on the show… sigh.

Make sure you follow us on SoundCloud, iTunes, Instagram, Facebook and YouTube!

If you would like to send a rant to the show, record it on your phone and email it to us at [email protected]

Or here: http://lmgtfy.com/?q=we+only+do+one+take+podcast+on+soundcloud

Episode 28 – Have you invested in Pot Coin yet?

In this podcast, Kieran at 28 years of age, learns what a Calzone is. Char wins the sexiest cow competition. We update you on Kim Jung Un’s toilet that flew first class to Singapore! Thanks to Dennis Rodmas (former NBA player) who helped set the meeting between Trump and Un! He also invests his money on potcoin.com. More importantly, our CEO provides updates on the spoons. And Turch is getting annoyed that he is getting older and doesn’t go to the strippers as much. It’s a jammed packed episode.

Episode 27 – Don’t Be Late for Dinner

Another great episode, we have another Billion dollar idea! There needs to be men couches that serve you drinks while your wife shops. Miss America scraps the swimsuit competition, Kieran and Turch are not happy! Jess joins us again as our guest and too our surprise Kieran turns up on time! By the way, don’t be late to dinner! Bonus material at the end of the episode.

Episode 26 – Puppet Jizz - We Only Do One Take Podcast

It’s episode 26 of the show, and the boys are still in the dark. Please, send Kieran your light bulbs. He really needs them.

Kieran starts the show off by requesting for more guitar solos, which never happens.

Then he rants about doctors who are late… which is all of them.

Whats in the news you say?

Turch brings in a court case where a man had his penis measured inside a courtroom to prove it was bigger than what the woman said it was.

Kieran brings in some PornHub stats related to the Royal Wedding. It’s as fantastic as you want it to me.

Turch makes a comment that Prince Charles implied eugenics. Here is an article: https://realagenda.wordpress.com/2010/06/17/prince-charles-calls-for-eugenics-in-poor-countries/

Turch is getting into the FIFA World Cup, and tells the story of how the 1966 World Cup (won by England) was stolen, and then found by Pickles the Dog, who won the cash prize. Turch gives an update on the Brazilian player Ronaldinho; he is marrying two women, illegally.

Kieran tells the story of the 30 year old man who has gone to court in battle against his parents who are trying to kick him out their house. Check him out on Alex Jones, who gave him $3,000. This leads into a talk about crypo currency.

Turch talks about a Sesame Street law suit about the puppet jizz film.

And Kieran ends the show with Trump watch.

Thank you to our wanker ranters, Alice and Damien!

Make sure you follow us on SoundCloud, iTunes, Instagram, Facebook and YouTube!

If you would like to send a rant to the show, record it on your phone and email it to us at [email protected]

Episode 25 – The Show at War – We Only Do One Take Podcast

The rantiest episode ever

What a crazy episode! Turch and Kieran tell the wankers about the ongoing battle they are having with Spotify and PornHub.

As Turch has stated, please send Spotify a message saying that you want our podcast on their platform! It will really help us out!

Turch rants about another toilet issue, and it includes a shower; having to shit after you shower.

Kieran tells us about how German firefighters are being trained to remove rings that have got stuck on penises. You’ll never guess how!

The boys put to rest the Yanni/Laurel debate, and Turch brings up a new debate.

Turch brings in another porn related article, this time about Moe the Monster

Kieran reviews a super hero film. What will his rating system be like this time?

Turch brings in a new bit, YouTube Comments Time! It’s… average.

And thw boys talk about the Royal Weddings, and regret not streaming it.

Turch calls out news.com.au too

Another listener rant from Jess, and it’s great.

If you would like to send a rant to the show, record it on your phone and email it to us at [email protected]

14 hour sex sessions, all you can eat pizza, virgina headphones and two epic rants (thanks Alice and Aaron). This podcast is probably our best yet!

Episode 23 of the We Only Do One Take Podcast

On this episode we have self-proclaimed Nerd Supreme Ayoub!

Turch rants about his finger again, and complains about the public health system and fax machines.

Nerd supreme bring in a story about a man who cut another man’s grass, drunk… and was arrested for it. Kieran on the hand talks about how he wouldn’t get a chip inside of him, if you know what I mean.

Turch brings it all back to some of first episodes and brings up talk of male sex robots, and talks about the legalities and the potential of a female/male sex robot wedding. And with that, the boys put on accents. Have you ever heard such bad accents? Let us know what your favourite bad accent is! The dildo competition is bought up again (check out the video of episode 6!).

Kieran doesn’t know what a Beanie Bear is.

We finally have an ad, for simple, elegant hammocks, for our international listeners, from our partners at Rob Hammocks.

Tick it off your bingo card, because Kieran brings in an article about the Catholic Church. Ayoub continues on this train of through and talks about TV evangelists and tells us some cool stories about what those people have done in their time. Turch brings up Zappa again…

Turch and Kieran come up with a business idea, and plan to start a Kickstarter and or an account on Fiverr.

Ayoub tells us about the funniest research that has happened in the last fews years. Turch adds in own about an crocodile.

7Eleven is not our sponsor of the week.

Yes there is a new song in there this week, but it is a working process

Check out the push up competition on YouTube right here:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=omfFeJRpHsI&t=6s

And check us out here:

https://soundcloud.com/we-only-do-one-take-podcast

https://www.facebook.com/weonlydoonetakepodcast/

https://itunes.apple.com/au/podcast/we-only-do-one-take-podcast/id1332596345

https://www.youtube.com/channel/UC8uCmOI5ljmC5P41ZYLp1wQ

A man's penis costs him $100,000! A Goose attacks a golfer, Uni students in the Cry Closet and Turch gets a new dog called Shaniqua!

Episode 21 of the We Only Do One Take Podcast!

Our return guest is Niall for his fourth time on the show.

Kieran makes an apology on behalf of Turch in regards to the way he ends the show. Turch is definitely not sorry. A debate ensures and I’m pretty sure you will want that time you listened to it back.

The boys reminisce about last week’s phone call, and Jess tells Turch something magic that she learned.

Turch rants about the lack of double shots of scotch available at bars, and how bar tenders will never allow you to buy double shots of booze. Kieran also rants about people not allowing for more time to get to the airport, and Niall states that Kieran should not do any more rants. Kieran follows that up with a story about his latest wedding he went to. Terrible.

Turch tells a story about the time he asked for neat scotch at the casino and how a manager confused his staff.

Turch segues Kieran into poo, and Kieran tells us the story about a lady who threw poo out of a window into another families BBQ. Niall reveals he is a two flush man.

From poo to Porn Hub: Turch talks about how, when Fortnite Battle Royal goes down, players flock to Porn Hub to what X rated Fortnite videos. A huge spike in the need for Fortnite related porn during a server downtime.

Kieran shows us a picture of the Youtuber who nearly dies after cementing head in microwave. Pure gold. His phone stops working for a bit, but he works it out. In that time, Turch brings up that he tried to create a Porn Hub account for the We Only Do One Take Podcast. Then we get back to the article.

Then boys play everyone’s favourite game, Drunk, High or Sober, Florida Man Ediiton.

Turch talks about ‘20 politically incorrect songs that'd be wildly controversial today’, an article from USA Today and showed how all the arguments they had was garbage. He even states that they don’t even have a Cannibal Corpse song of the list but Ebony and Ivory by Stevie Wonder and Paul McCartney is on the list. Pathetic.

Kieran debates that marijuana should be legal hoping to spark a debate. Sadly everyone agrees with his position, so it just becomes a shamble.

Turch ends this hard debate with a fun story about a dog, and has an announcement. Suggest a name!

Thanks to all the fans!

Make sure you tell your friends about the show.

Email us [email protected] with recorded rants, messages or anything else you want.

Article links:

https://www.usatoday.com/story/life/music/2018/04/12/20-politically-incorrect-songs-thatd-wildly-controversial-today/465246002/

https://www.plymouthherald.co.uk/news/plymouth-news/plymouth-reveals-poo-anecdotes-rival-437910

https://www.thesun.co.uk/tech/6066461/fortnite-porn-pornhub-videos-game-sex/

http://www.news.com.au/technology/online/prankster-nearly-dies-after-cementing-head-in-microwave/news-story/bfa40b2abdcbb326e3b8b76700d77b7f

https://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/2018/04/20/dog-feared-have-cancer-had-actually-eaten-four-teddy-bears-vet/

https://www.mirror.co.uk/news/weird-news/dad-apologises-holding-gun-posing-12409243

Episode 20 of the We Only Do One Take Podcast

Twenty episodes in. Who let us do this?

In this episode we celebrate Kieran’s birthday. Turch tells Kieran what he was going to give him for his birthday, but decided against it.

Kieran tells us the story of where he spent his birthday, which leads into the best rant ever; lack of food and beverage facilities within a hospital.

Turch continues his quest to find all of the stupid shit Nintendo have said about their character; this week it’s Waluigi.

Kieran tells us of a huge 7 foot beast, and it’s not Turch’s penis.

Turch also tells the story of how his nonna found out she was black.

And the biggest news ever; in a new segment, Kieran Explains (please email us at [email protected] with all of your questions!) we have our first (and possibly last) call in guest Jess.

The boys also talk about how to survive a family holiday… oh boy.