We Ride at Dawn (ish)

Jessica and Camilla jump on the viral “Things I Believe” trend — except one came armed with soul-deep, woo-woo convictions and the other brought 401(k)s.

They put their beliefs to the test: agree, BS, or explain yourself. Soul pets. Talking to trees. Houses that call to you. Why Target is basically a mood stabilizer. Feeding your inner child. And the one thing you should NEVER touch… 

Plus: gossip as a love language (vault, vault, vault), sending your best friend truly horrific photos of yourself, the unmatched joy of canceled plans, dishwasher wars with Matt, and the Grey’s Anatomy superstitions every cast member knows about!!!!

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Jess is filming 9-1-1, so Camilla summoned back a familiar spirit. Kyle K is haunting the studio, answering all your Qs with his signature dose of petty.
We start where we probably should have started last time: football Hall of Fame family legacies and casually trying on Super Bowl rings in bars. We get into whether he’s been left on read, his beef with toddler birthdays, and why he truly does not care who trains Madonna. Then, a deep dive into why keeping screenshots from the Stone Age is not only acceptable, but necessary — plus the latest on his sickodis flare-up. Kyle also shares an update from his own self-care journey: he fired his therapist. This can’t be good. Throw in some deeply absurd Halloween Qs, questionable advice, in-house arguing and just enough personal growth to legally call this “self-care” — and we’ve got an episode.

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Grey's and 9-1-1: Nashville are BACK, Camilla has a margarita in hand, and Jess may or may not have remembered hers. With both shows returning October 15, the girls are spilling a little behind-the-scenes tea. Is Jo really done with medicine? What's Ryan Phillippe doing in Nashville? And after last season's Battle of the Blondes, is round two on the horizon? Then things get MESSY. A listener catches her brother's fiancée kissing a coworker. Does she tell him? Confront her? Mind her own business? Jess and Camilla have THOUGHTS. Plus, how Grey's actors sneak their lines, what's actually in their makeup bags, why Jess took a razor to her own hair, and her Hot Ones experience. Throw in a kid tossing ice on a plane and Camilla's sports-mom hair bow operation, and we've got ourselves a mailbag. And to the listener with the cheating fiancée situation: WE NEED AN UPDATE.

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Thirty years of friendship means there are very few secrets left. Fortunately, and unfortunately, for Jess, Bonnie remembers all of them. This week, one of Jess’s dearest friends from Brown joins us to talk about what actually makes a friendship last three decades, starting with their very first impressions of each other and the inexplicable series of events that landed a 5’5” girl from Los Angeles, with strong Elle-Woods-before-Elle-Woods energy, on Brown’s elite crew team of giants. They get into the secret sauce of their friendship: being game for the adventure, making the hard stuff easy to talk about, and making the people around you feel good. Then we head to late-’90s New York, where they were baby adults navigating the city and Jess’s too-tight leather pants somehow became their secret weapon for getting past the velvet ropes at exclusive nightclubs. And then there’s the small matter of someone earning the nickname “the Kissing Bandit.” Plus: the three words Bonnie thinks describe Jess best after knowing her for 30 years. Come for the college stories. Stay for the friendship advice. And remember: always be game.

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Jess and Camilla are on opposite ends of the back-to-school emotional spiral this week: Jess just dropped her son off at college. Camilla just sent hers off to kindergarten. Different-sized backpacks. Same car cry. Then there are the dorm rooms. Apparently, sending your kid to college now includes $20,000 interior design jobs for a room they'll live in for eight months. Camilla calls for a ban. Jess has thoughts. A debate ensues. Also: the Sonny Angels takeover, the tiny plastic creatures currently holding tween girls-and their parents' wallets—hostage. And Camilla unveils her completely reasonable plan for coping when her kids eventually leave home: buy a spy robot and follow them. Healthy! Normal! And next week, Camilla is off filming Grey's Anatomy, which means Jess is bringing in a mystery guest. She's dropping hints. We're saying nothing.

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We’re back and we’re airborne, sort of. With the holiday weekend ahead we’re talking everything that’s wrong with air travel, starting with the TSA gaslighting us for two decades straight. Laptops out, laptops in, shoes on, shoes off, belt on, belt off, nobody knows the rules anymore, and somehow, we’ve all just accepted it. We’re also talking fellow passengers behaving like full-on criminals before the plane even leaves the gate, the unspoken marital warfare that is childcare at 35,000 feet, and the real debate on clapping when you land: is it only earned when it feels like a celebration of life, or are you out here clapping for a plane just doing its one job? Plus, the real question: if you clock something on the stranger next to you’s phone that says their “business trip” is not exactly business, do you say something? We have thoughts.

Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode.

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This week, Camilla calls in the big (tanned) guns: Kyle K. He started as her Barry’s trainer/self-care guru, infiltrated her inner circle, and now—for better or worse—he’s part of yours.

Kyle promised to come in unfiltered and spill allll the tea. He delivered: Wellness. Witches. Workout lies. Exes. Revenge. The art of being petty. And the wildly specific things that can send him into an immediate spiral.
Plus: the story behind Kyle K Quotes, the anonymously run Instagram account that’s been documenting—and leaking—the most outrageous things he’s said for years. It’s a real-life Gossip Girl—and Kyle is its favorite target.

Is it iconic? Correct. Is it mildly unhinged? Correct.
Most importantly—he’s now here for YOU. Send in your self-care dilemmas. Kyle K is officially taking cases.

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Jessica and Camilla are back with round two of the Messy Mailbag, and this one gets personal. Camilla finally tells the story behind copying Jessica's glasses, and how her subscription... we mean, prescription, did her dirty. Then Jessica drops a bombshell: she might run for president, and Camilla's first duty as campaign manager is instating "Messy Margarita Mondays" as official policy. The girls debate which historical era they'd each be thriving in, dig up some 9-1-1: Nashville and Grey's Anatomy behind-the-scenes secrets that still crack them up to this day. Plus: on-set rituals, a secret handshake, and the diaper surprise nobody warns you about, but every boy mom can relate to. Keep the questions coming... this is only round two!

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We played Would You Rather and there is no coming back from some of these answers. A Moon flight vs. White House residency, loving what you’re great at vs. being great at what you love, Aliens vs. Zombies and then it gets unhinged in the best way. A few questions we genuinely could not finish answering out loud. There’s laughing so hard it turns into actual tears and Jessica may have blacked out. Camilla and Jessica did not hold back on this one.

Watch to see which questions broke us.

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Jessica's out, so Camilla brings her other, other half, husband Matt, for a spooky new spinoff called We Ride at Midnight(ish). First up is the real horror story of their family vacation to Hawaii, from a household-wide "shut up" ban gone wrong to Matt's relentless photo-taking, a stubbed toe ER visit, and the movie theater family from hell. Then things get genuinely eerie as Camilla unloads her research on alien conspiracy theories. What do aliens and Ancestry.com have in common? And a breakdown of the FOUR reported alien species. Equal parts marriage therapy, travel horror story, and UFO deep-dive, this one has it all.

Please note that this episode may contain paid endorsements and advertisements for products and services. Individuals on the show may have a direct or indirect financial interest in products or services referred to in this episode.

Produced by Dear Media.

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