We Will Never Be Happy.

AA baseball great Michael Jordan is uniquely positioned to coerce Nike founder "Uncle" Phil Knight to improve working conditions in hundreds of sweatshops around the world, where tiny fingers stitch and glue overpriced Air Jordan sneakers around the clock. And yet the retired sports superstar never utters a peep. Worth $2.1 billion, Chicago Bulls shooting guard #23 is an enemy to humankind.

Feeling unhinged? You're not alone. That's why corporate ad executive vampires have begun weaponizing America's collective nervous breakdown against us. They hope you'll risk grandma's life July 1 in order to see hefty Russell Crowe in Unhinged on the big screen. Academy Award winner Crowe sweats impotent silverback rage from every pore as he terrorizes Oscar Pistorius's sister Caren for beeping her horn impolitely at his raised pick-up. We're all in this together.

Episode 1, in which Nick Offerman and John Krasinski comb the mustache. The mustache combs Hugh Jackman. And Robert Downey Jr. both combs the mustache and instructs the mustache how to comb him.