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First attempt at using Ableton Note. I am traveling, and needed a portable production setup. Surprisingly good workflow. Not 100% happy with the output, but it will be a learning experience.

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Some VRC7 DnB nonsense, mainly playing around with the kick and snare custom patches I made and how they interact with noise for possibly something more in the future. Cool ideas, not enough time.

Made in Deflemask

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I started putting some notes down with just two instruments and was about to start adding more layers, but when I listened to it I realized I liked it the way it was and so decided to just leave it alone.

Also I was really short on time this week so that may have been a contributing factor. So yeah, I jettisoned my goals for this week but whatever, I like this song. I think it's actually one of my favorites of the year so far (fewer instruments means fewer things to screw up).

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Drinking a Chai Tea just as the mushrooms kick in...

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There's a lot going on to write about.

This week has been tough. All I am going to say about that is that I have been very lucky to be able to surround myself with friends, family, and colleagues, who have all been kind and patient and reminded me that I am cared for. I am very lucky to have them in my life.

Today I had a rostered day off at work. I took my sister on a run with my friends. It was a wonderful way to spend an unexpectedly warm autumn morning.

I watched my cat show affection to my foster (rare, and often sadly misunderstood by my foster - its a long story). I wonder how long my foster will be here, I wonder how much longer it will be before I just accept that she should just stay here. It has been four years already - most of her life.

At the pet store, picking up cat litter, I watched all the staff fawn over a bunny that was finding its way to a new home. "You should see how big he is!!", said the worker ringing up my bill. I caught a glimpse that confirmed this rabbit was, in fact, huge.

I went past my old work to return some things and to join some colleagues for lunch. Incidentally, there was cake to celebrate some birthdays over the weekend. As I sang happy birthday to them in the kitchen, it felt as though nothing had changed. It felt like I had just been away for the past while on a hike and now I was back to reclaim my empty desk. They said this too. Things change but things also stay the same. I miss them yet I'm happy where I am now. They said I was welcome back anytime and I felt that to be true.

I've been experiencing something these last couple of weeks. It's something small, but it happens often enough. I keep seeing things of beauty, small little moments, a big screen showing a kids TV show playing in a house as I walk past, a stranger smiling at a dog driving by with its head out the window, a drummer on the internet playing otherworldy rhythms, a pipe that groans a strange melody when I wash my hands, watching someone on the other side of the world making a heavenly piece of music from their crowded bedroom, the echo of the empty basement carpark of the office as I walk through it. Every time I go onto instagram (which I try not to do much these days - and nearly always fail) I am bombarded with beautiful music, art, drawings, video edits, dance routines, cats, puppies, wombats, birds, frogs, lightning, waterfalls, bikes, snow, mountains, love, sadness, nostalgia, memories, loss, grief, compassion, sympathy, empathy, and holiday destinations that I may never go to. I so often feel so much, even from the smallest things. Yet when it comes time to write a song, I choke on it all. The neck of my guitar feels so heavy in my hand, the strings dull. I have so much to say yet my mouth is full of marbles (hey that's a better song title).

Today, I sat down and just wrote a stream of consciousness into a file on my computer. Then, all at once it hit me, and I swear the lyrics were done in less than twenty seconds. Maybe I haven't lost it after all.

So yeah, I guess this song is about just how many beautiful things there are in the world.

there's so much

everywhere

all the time

too much to bear

I can see it

in every frame

a bedroom

invoking stadiums

I overflow

a plastic cup

was never meant

to hold this much

it feels so heavy

on my tongue

and I can't spit it out

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Really didnt think I would manage making a song this week, because I got a crazy cold and had a lot of other missions. But somehow managed to put something together.

Drums from the MPC, melodic stuff from the Digitone 2 and the Moog Labyrinth.

Made some recordings with my son talking french which I also added. I dont understand french, so I have no idea what he is saying actually.

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made with roland mt-32 (munt emulation)

it took years but this track is finally done!

check out the .mid here: https://battleofthebits.com/arena/Entry/trials+and+tribulations/84177/

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Sorry not sorry for the kind of ranting energy of this song.. It is what it is. And mostly  the rant is aimed at myself, trying to remind/convince myself that I have some agency in where to use my energy. But if the rant helps you too that's great. If not, then ignore these madwoman's ravings. You get to live your life your way.

This song simply came through when I was vibing with my frustration at being sent newspaper articles when I already asked them to not send me any more. But hey, it inspired this song so maybe I should be grateful for those articles. What a wonderful life!

› Lyrics‹ Lyrics

You're sending me another newspaper article

Because you care and you want to

make me care

Or

maybe just be aware

We all need to be so aware about all the shit in the world

But I want to focus on what's right here

What I can do

I can't do a shit about all the shit

all the-

I can't even stay sane

if I would put all my attention

there, out there, out there

Everywhere

I'm just

one human

I'm just right here

and I have a child

I have a baby

I have my own body

My own capacity

My own energy

And you know what?

Yeah, It's my-

It's My Own Energy

It's My Body

And I get to choose

No one needs to lose

No one will lose

Only, you'll lose

when your energy gets used

You get to choose

It's Your Energy

And It's Your Body

Your Life

Open your eyes

You're here

See what's near

Or you can look far

You can see the whole world

The whole universe out there

It's a wonderful opportunity

But hey, most often it gets thrown

into overwhelm

We can't appreciate it when we feel like shit

You don't need to feel like shit

Just

Just

Let it be

Let it be

Let yourself be free

to live the life you have

Right here

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