I wasn't sure I would make it this week. After weeks of pushing, and a lot of music in the last couple in particular, I'm tired. I am weary. I honestly thought about just skipping or quitting for the first time this week, but y'all spurred me on, and I've kept it going another week. This started with that arp on the TEO-5, and then I built around it on the M8. It's simple and doesn't necessarily have a lot of variety, but mostly just plays with dynamics. Part of me feels self-conscious or like that's boring (it probably is), but again, I'm tired, and it also fits where I'm at right now.

› The emotional details for for those who care‹ The emotional details for for those who care

So we wrapped up reprocessing one target memory (finally got to 7/7, sort of), and started working on another. I had been feeling pretty good in some ways, and I been feeling like I've been making a lot of progress, but there's still been some things nagging at me. We started attacking those today, and it was rough. Did you ever start trying to dig a rock out of the ground, and then realize that it was way, way bigger than you initially thought? This feels like a Tommyknockers level rock to excavate. The process sucks and involves looking at lots of stuff that hurts to look at and feels really hard to talk to another person about, and a part of me is telling me that even with all this work, I'm not going to be able to get this rock excavated. That said, I guess I gotta keep trying. 41 more weeks of tracks is feeling a little overwhelming right at this moment, too, but I guess I'm gonna keep trying at that, too!

Anyways, that's where I'm coming from with this today, and I hope you enjoy. Sorry I've been off my comment game recently; I've been struggling, but I hope to get back at it the way I was in the first several weeks. Be well, friends.

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This started as UK garage and ended a little more towards generic techno.

Samples from Sony Creative Software and ZeroG sample CDs

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Took it easy after week with friends. Feeling under the weather. "Heat wave" all week. Tried to stay still and sleep to recover for flight out to cousin's wedding reception in Atlanta. Nice to to drive around as much. A shame about not being able to participate in the sunny weather. Perfect for biking and park visits. Archery injuries nearly done healing. Dove a bit into the history of NYC Garage music. Traveled to cousin's wedding on father's side. Youngest. Saw family I had not seen in over 10 years. Flight out was ok. Flight back from Atlanta.... chaos. Stayed at hotel with VTC and AL. Had a pleasant time driving us, visiting the Gone with the wind museum, and reconnecting with family meeting their kids for the first time. Learned about father more through uncles.

Media consumed: The Orville, American Dad, Resident Alien, Love on the Spectrum, Star Trek Strange New Worlds, Selected Stories of Philip k. Dick by Philip k. Dick, The Age of Magical Over thinking by Amanda Montell, 1, 2*, 3,

Gear Used:

Dirtywave M8

Software Used:

Izotope Ozone 10

Started previous Sunday while killing time waiting for AL to wake. Bulk of track made then. Tightened up a few days later. Tinkering with live changes by mapping M8's screen to open filter of synths. Rarely use that feature. Out of practice with M8. Took break and have been working w/ PC style trackers, modular, and groove boxes. A low effort due to not feeling well. Nothing ambitious. Just practice and reacquaintance w/ a tool I took a break from.

File Names: 3_15_26Sanom m8, 3_15_26 (3_18_26) Ableton,

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MPC + Ableton

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My music is only going to get a lot crazier from here.

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Got this done a little later than usual (I usually start and finish my songs on Monday) because I got a headache. And also I got paid $40 to stock up a supply closet yesterday. My arms are still tired.

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my favorite part is at 4:27. I feel like this song has a lot of cool individual things, but I'm not sharpening the right edges or something.

Thanks for listening!

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In my defense, there was a woodpecker.

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Our mind is chaos

But we can choose

Peace not war

---

Weekly Poem

NULL

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More tracker tunage, this time going for a 90s big beat style. It's under 16 channels, a few hundred k. I hyperfocused and wrote it all in a few hours. It's crazy once happens once your engine is warmed up.

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