Heavy one this week WB
I made a song about how gender dysphoria feels and the process of letting yourself be changed by what you are afraid of but will ultimately lead you to joy. I have been processing how my fears of being more myself are in direct competition with being misgendered and living in a way that is not aligned with how I really perceive myself. As I move towards that person I wanted to make this song as a way to remind myself that no matter how hard change is, and how much I might, the core of who I am remains. Loving, kind, patient, funny, smiling, and caring. That's what matters.
› lyrics‹ lyricsWolves dont hunt you in the glade
You can be scared just take your steps to a change
If no one can hold you when winter came
Then why do birds keep on singing your name?
She might let go
Who knows
But dont let go
Falling out of thunder
Surrender to rain
Give into the current you thought youd always tame
Crumble into focus
Feel it Wash away
Let go of the surface and see what has remained
You won’t suffer in the dark
I’ll pull you closer when it’s hard
I’ll stop my shaking
Long complaints that no one can change
Like myself
Falling out of thunder
Surrender to rain
Give into the current you thought youd always tame
Crumble into focus
Feel it Wash away
Let go of the surface and see what has remained
Falling out of thunder
Surrender to rain
Give into the current you thought youd always tame
Crumble into focus
Feel it Wash away
Let go of the surface and see what has remained
And she might let go
Who knows
But dont let go
Cause time is wasting
Your always decaying
And nothing can change on its own
Falling out of thunder
Surrender to rain
Give into the current you thought youd always tame
Crumble into focus
Feel it Wash away
Let go of the surface and see what has remained
› lyric breakdown‹ lyric breakdown
I tend to use a lot of nature imagery in my songs. It's from singer song writer leanings and the aethetic I want to pursue. Some mix of Mushi-shi, Haunting, and hopeful that I find dark forests are really easy to draw from.
Wolves is a callback to another song I have called imposter that references little red riding hood and also the wolf alpha mentality of toxic masculine culture. The wolf not hunting me is in reference to me. I am changing for me and there is not hidden away masculine part of me ready to pounce. It also I think symbolizes my fear and the lyrics serve to talk me out of nothing is out to get me and that I am okay. This echoes in the last line. "Why do birds keep on singing your name". This is my poetic way of saying that what I am doing by being myself is as natural as birds singing.
The bridge of "she might let go" is about me saying regardless if my current partner might walk away one day that I can't and I won't. It's a reality check and a salve. I will always be there.
The chorus serves as this rainstorm of washing away who I thought I was. Surrendering to this process of chipping away at who I thought I was to become who I actually am underneath. Like a statue out of stone.
The second verse "You won't suffer in the dark..." Is to myself in a commitment to being there for me and taking the steps to change rather than just talking about it or sharing how much it hurts to people without making moves. My feelings are valid but I can't just talk about my feelings forever I also have to take steps to make sure I don't feel bad too.
› Production Notes‹ Production Notes
-The song started with me wanting to make a song like Beebadobee's Take a Bite.
-I just liked the chords and tone of her voice and so I learned the song on guitar and started playing around with different chords in a four chord pattern.
-I eventually found something that I liked and started humming along a melody that came to me.
-I recorded that in logic and then filled in lyrics based on the melody trying to fit syllables into the rhythm of it.
-This was all aided by playing the melody line on the piano to get the perfect pitch and amount of syllables needed.
-From here I added a piano part just making up chords I thought sounded nice.
-Added clarinet.
-Added drums with a kit I made of samples with a little ghost roll and ride that I really liked.
-I redid the vocals with about 5 stacks for the main melody using a vocal template a lot like the one Billie Eilish uses.
-A little mix mastering and it's done:)
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