Welcome to Horror

It’s the new year, so it’s time get some fresh air and take a rejuvenating break in our Countrycide season.

First up is 2008’s “The Cottage”, a film in which Pinhead has joined the local neighbourhood watch; Gollum proves to be related to a large number of the inhabitants of Royston Vasey; and Spudgun is a pain in the arse who fucks up everything he touches.

The surprise follow up to director Paul Andrew Williams’ gritty debut “London To Brighton”, “The Cottage” came out during that brief flowering of British comedy horror that followed in the wake of “Shaun of the Dead”, and, like a lot of films from that period, appears to have been unjustly forgotten. It starts up as hilarious crime caper with a small group of well realised and brilliantly portrayed characters, only to perform a mid-point rug pull as that story suddenly crashes headlong into a slasher film.

Watch (or re-watch) to avoid spoilers and join us.

And we’re back like a vertebrae! Two worlds collide and we present “Welcome To Everyone: We Three Kings”.

The Not For Everyone and Welcome To Horror podcasts have teamed up again for what the cool kids are definitely still calling the most ambitious crossover event in history.

It’s Christmas; so we bring you “We Three Kings”- where we each choose our top 3 Stephen King adaptations. Between double-thinking each other’s lists and a few participants wilfully ignoring the assignment, this is a truly eclectic selection of the King on screen.

A Christmas present from the people who brought you the unique podcast idea of squabbling man children talking about films.

Enjoy.

And so we conclude our festive season of ‘Silent Nights’ by going back even further, for the magnificent “The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari”.

A film in which we witness possibly the worst interior design for a psychiatric hospital; the best (and only correct) response to petty local bureaucracy and we all empathise with a man who sleeps for 23 years and still wakes up knackered.

If the point of German Expressionism was to emphasise and represent the internal emotional state over a depiction of actual reality - “The Cabinet of Dr. Caligari” is an absolute blueprint of how to do it. A triumph of ingenuity and flair over budgetary restrictions, “… Caligari” creates its own complete world that immerses the audience. However, this is not mere style over substance, with a convoluted plot featuring many a twist, making for a film that feels fresher and more modern than a lot of what would come after it. A perennial influence to this day, from Tim Burton to Rob Zombie and the Laika animation studio, this unique film may have its homages and imitators; but the original is never diminished, retaining its power over a century later.

Watch (or re-watch) to avoid 103 year-old spoilers and join us.

It’s nearly Christmas; so we’re bringing you some ‘Silent Nights’ - first up is 1922’s beautifully sinister “Nosferatu - A Symphony of Horror”.

A film in which we learn the very worst way to cut a slice of bread; that nothing looks more confused than a striped hyena in a German forest; and that when your manager finishes every sentence with an insane cackle, it’s probably time to check out your other employment options.

This silent occult masterpiece still manages to feel more modern and pacy than a lot of the talkies that followed over the next few decades, and it’s imagery remains burned into the collective unconscious. The first feature-length adaptation of “Dracula”, it offers enough variation from its source material to become a story in its own right - with the spectre of plague and contagion married to the concept of the vampire in a way that chills in the light of our own recent history. It’s Count Orlok is far removed from the suave romantic figure screen Dracula would become; instead being a near folkloric creature from the other side of the forest, and all the more disturbing for it.

Watch (or re-watch) to avoid 101 year-old spoilers and join us.

It’s the second film of our “In Space, No One Can Hear You Jump The Shark” double bill, and for those of you who thought “Jason X” was bad; we present “Leprechaun 4: In Space”.

A film in which Lieutenant Gruber turns from Davros into a giant spider (no doubt preventing him from fitting into his little tank); Heidi from “Tool Time” literally makes a man’s penis explode; and Warwick Davis finally gets his own Lightsaber.

The fourth entry into the “Leprechaun” franchise jets off into outer space but, ironically, mostly fails to land. With an uneven tone, and not all cast and crew apparently in on the joke; this veers from mild amusement to mild bemusement. With primitive CGI disowned by the director, and some surprisingly good make up, this is a movie that will only improve depending on your level of inebriation, and the good company you view it with.

Watch (or re-watch) to avoid spoilers and join us.

In space, no one can hear you jump the shark. We turn our attention to a couple of horror franchises that looked to stars for (questionable?) inspiration. First off is 2002’s “Jason X” - a film in which we learn that you’d better enjoy the current season of Ice Hockey as it’s getting banned next year; that those newfangled magnetic nipples are not all they’re cracked up to be; and that David Cronenberg likes them soft.

The tenth instalment in the Friday the 13th series sees a complete departure in location, but retains the essential core of a group of extremely stupid and annoying people getting killed in elaborate ways. Whilst this film divided fans, with many considering it the worst of the series, it does at least seem to have been made with a view to rejuvenating a flagging premise, with a tongue-in-cheek attitude, and an awareness of just how ridiculous it all is.

Watch (or re-watch) to avoid spoilers and join us.

Welcome To Horror Presents: “The Horror of We Have Been Watching”.

Yes, gentle listener, it’s the usual round up of extracurricular viewing by the WTH team.

This time around we talk about “Ex Machina”; “The Haunted Mansion” (2023); “Messiah of Evil”; “Children of the Stones”; “Talk to Me”; “Psychoville”; new series “The Fall of the House of Usher” and the book launch for “The Astral Geographic” by Andy Sharp of English Heretic.

No prep needed, but listeners beware, as here be (possible) spoilers and (definite) swearing.

Join us!

Go suck a fuck, it’s our episode on “Donnie Darko” (spoilers AND swearing).

A film in which we learn the incorrect place to store a Lifeline exercise card; that there’s nothing more beautiful than Drew Barrymore’s cellar door; and that it’s not just Patrick Swayze’s dancing that’s dirty.

This brilliantly cast, Halloween-set fantasy stalled at the US box office, did much better when released in the UK a year later; then DVD and word of mouth cemented it as a modern classic. Audiences may have been left scratching their heads, but most came away with a love of this intelligent and complex film, and that felt like a magnificent fuck you to a film industry convinced cinema goers need a steady diet of lowest common denominator crap.

A subsequent “Director’s Cut” made the mechanics of the film’s take on time travel much more explicit, whilst also adding some unnecessary padding, but this film transcends its hard sci-fi premise, and can be viewed in the logic of dream or fantasy, always making narrative and emotional sense to the attentive viewer.

Watch (or re-watch) to avoid spoilers and join us.

In space, no one can hear Lee complain, but we’re back on Earth, so get ready to hear our discussion on Ridley Scott’s “Alien”.

A film in which John Hurt rehearses his guest appearance in “Spaceballs”; Tom Skerritt gives a masterclass in poor management (we’ve all worked for a useless prick); and Ian Holm performs cinema’s first self-bukkake.

A fantastic, darkly epic film that perfectly straddles science fiction and horror, perhaps its greatest achievement is the thoroughly believable world (or worlds) it builds, allowing both its cast and the viewer to immerse themselves completely. Our discussion touches upon the sequels, which, whilst gradually conforming to the franchise fatigue of diminishing returns, having such a rich starting mythology to build upon, all throw up some real points of interest (particularly those films that continue Ripley’s story).

Our conversation also encompasses the film’s creative origins in Alejandro Jodorowsky’s (tragically) aborted attempt to bring “Dune” to the silver screen.

Watch (or re-watch) to avoid spoilers and join us.

Welcome To Horror Presents: “We Have Been Watching Must Be Destroyed”.

It’s another of our regular round ups of what the team having been shoving into their brain-faces.

This time we discuss “Last Night In Soho”;“The Quatermass Experiment at 70”, The “Fear Street” trilogy; “The Babadook”; “47 Ronin”; “On The Silver Globe”; and “Final Destination”.

With shout outs to Joe Watson, Nicholas Tomnay, Leadbelt Art and Doomshire Tapes.

No prep needed, bur listeners beware, as here be (possible) spoilers and (definite) swearing.

Join us!