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New Neighbors, Walmart Wars & Meat Juice

A new neighbor moves in and immediately has a list of demands. Trees need trimming. The lake needs dredging. The community pier needs rearranging. And Greg, the HOA president, apparently needs a new job description.

Meanwhile, Andy witnesses a Walmart shopping trip turn into a verbal showdown, complete with an innocent bystander making a tactical retreat.

There’s also a European vacation in the works, a AAA credit card representative who sounds suspiciously like a robot, and a trip back to the 1980s when rock bands had strict studio rules, girlfriends delivered unwanted pizza, and one vegetarian discovered the horrors of meat juice.

It’s another episode of Welcome to the Suburbs with Andy and Greg. Like a funny morning radio show. Without traffic and weather on the 9s.

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What happens when the neighborhood’s least popular resident dies, the obituary barely acknowledges his life, and the family starts celebrating before the week is over?

Welcome to Season 4, Episode 98 of Welcome to the Suburbs with Andy and Greg, where suburban life continues to provide material that no comedy writer could possibly make up.

Greg takes us back to Lake James, where flashing emergency lights, a mysterious death, and a remarkably brief obituary have the neighbors talking. What begins as a story about a difficult family turns into a hilarious discussion about death, family dysfunction, funeral etiquette, and the importance of leaving behind more than “he worked at a park.”

That reminds Greg of his brother’s funeral, an ex-wife who arrived with a five-page obituary, and a funeral director faced with the literary equivalent of War and Peace.

Then the conversation shifts to another suburban battleground: lawn mowing etiquette.

How early is too early to mow? Apparently, 5:50 AM isn’t too early for one Indianapolis neighbor, who fires up an electric lawn mower to tackle a driveway made of rocks while blasting music from the garage. The spectacle is so distracting that Geoffrey, Greg’s Weimaraner, walks headfirst into a parked car.

Throw in abandoned boats, backyard barbecue operations before sunrise, a tour bus without a home, and a neighborhood that seems to be operating without adult supervision, and you’ve got another episode of suburban comedy at its finest.

In Episode 98:

• A lake neighborhood mystery and an obituary that leaves plenty to the imagination
• Funeral home drama and the world’s longest obituary
• The fine art of saying exactly the wrong thing at a funeral
• Lawn mowing etiquette and inconsiderate neighbors
• A 5:50 AM electric lawn mower versus a rock driveway
• Geoffrey’s unfortunate encounter with a parked car
• Boats, buses, barbecue smokers, and suburban chaos

Welcome to the Suburbs with Andy and Greg is a comedy podcast about everyday life, marriage, neighbors, family, aging, and the ridiculous situations that make suburban living anything but ordinary.

Subscribe, share the laughs, and remember: Laughter is contagious. Help us spread it!

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Greg’s weather app says the rain is somewhere else. The lake forming in the Lowe’s parking lot says otherwise.

This week, Andy and Greg wait out a sideways Indiana downpour, compare weather apps with an 80-year-old woman, debate whether paying someone $118 to assemble one IKEA cabinet is money well spent, and discover that apparently Greg’s tremor bothers Keely considerably more than it bothers Greg.

Then Andy brings out the papers.

According to some extremely official-looking emails, he may be entitled to millions of dollars, a truck—or possibly several trucks—currently being held for him in the White House storage room.

Yes. The White House.

There are also high-diving horses, floating stages, questionable games involving knives, pizza-fueled cabinet construction, and the important realization that when someone promises you funds and trucks, you should probably start spending immediately.

It’s Episode 97 of Welcome to the Suburbs with Andy and Greg.

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Record flooding, flash flood warnings, an emergency Airbnb booking, and a roasted-corn-stand employee named Uncle Stevie. Just another quiet week in Indiana.

Andy and Greg kick off Episode 96 with the relentless Midwest rain and historic flooding that forced residents of Rocky Ripple to evacuate. One displaced couple made a 1:30 a.m. instant booking at Greg’s Airbnb—only to spend the night sleeping in their car when Greg slept through the notification. Which raises an uncomfortable question: Do they get a refund? 

Then it’s off to the Indiana State Fair, where a disagreement over giving away free roasted corn allegedly escalated into a stabbing involving a box cutter, an ankle monitor, a SWAT team and a suspect hiding in an attic. Naturally, Andy and Greg find several important questions left unanswered by the official account—including whether glazed donuts should ever be used as hamburger buns. 

Along the way: 100-year floods, biblical rain, Civil Defense drills, Tony Romo, Peyton Manning, State Fair food, criminal mischief and the rapidly approaching

Welcome to the Suburbs with Andy and Greg — finding the funny in everyday suburban life, one questionable decision at a time.

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What starts with a handful of quarters somehow ends with Greg digging through county records to determine who actually owns a neighborhood easement. Welcome to the Suburbs.

Andy and Greg kick things off with the surprisingly high cost of doing laundry at a laundromat, why Greg apparently needs a pillowcase to haul around his change, and the questionable clientele keeping him company while he washes everything at Rosslyn Retreat.

Then we head to the lake, where Greg puts on his HOA president crown—still no scepter—and introduces Andy to an ongoing neighborhood saga involving chainsaws, police calls, grass seed, Roundup, a community easement, an Audi attempting to launch a jet ski, and neighbors who believe the rules may apply primarily to other 

When someone claims the county owns the neighborhood easement, Greg does what any perfectly normal HOA president would do: takes G-Dog for a car ride and heads to the county recorder’s office. There, an original 1949 plat, a giant dusty book and a guy named Tony finally settle the question. 

It’s suburban life at its finest: laundry, neighbors, property disputes and just enough local government to make everyone uncomfortable.

Welcome to the Suburbs with Andy and Greg — laughter is contagious. Help us spread it by telling a friend.

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What happens when your neighbor shows up with two containers of cucumbers, your wife apparently knows why, and you’re the only person who missed the vegetable conversation?

Welcome to marriage in the suburbs.

This week, Andy and Greg dive into another collection of stories that probably shouldn’t fit together—but somehow do.

Greg encounters Marie at the front door bearing mysterious cucumbers and discovers there may be an entire layer of communication happening in his marriage that doesn’t involve him. Andy shares what may be one of the slowest customer-service responses in history after ParkWhiz finally answers his parking question five months after the Heart concert.

Then things escalate.

A Miami Uber ride turns into an argument over drinking beer—and ends with one passenger allegedly stabbing her friend with scissors. Naturally, this leads Andy and Greg into TSA stories involving oversized toothpaste, a forgotten Swiss Army knife, and the questionable logic behind what can and cannot make it through security.

Andy also takes us to Florida, where visiting his parents means breakfast, lunch and dinner with very little recovery time in between, hundreds of old VHS recordings are nearing the end of a decades-long viewing mission, and a simple lunch at a tiki hut spirals into bad lemonade, an avalanche of french fries and Andy’s mother informing everyone that his father does not need another Diet Coke.

Plus: RadioShack nostalgia, bike outfits, West Side Story, The Sound of Music, Titanic zombies and the lingering question of whether Greg is worthy of receiving cucumbers.

It’s another perfectly normal trip through suburban life with Andy and Greg.

Subscribe, share the show, and remember: laughter is contagious.

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What happens when Greg has a dream involving his mom, a groundhog, a possum, a tornado, a destroyed house and a dead neighbor?

Naturally, he asks ChatGPT what it means.

In Episode 93 of Welcome to the Suburbs, Greg shares one of the strangest dreams he’s had—and the surprisingly thoughtful interpretation that followed. What starts with animals wandering through the bedroom turns into a conversation with Andy about grief, caregiving, childhood, writing Measured Breaths, and whether AI can actually help us better understand ourselves. 

Then things get considerably less introspective.

The Welcome to the Suburbs Facebook page has attracted some new “professional podcast promoters” promising thousands of downloads, real subscribers, five-star reviews and Apple Podcasts chart rankings. Greg puts his digital-marketing background to work and starts asking questions.

That’s when Ella—and eventually Ling Con—begin to unravel.

References? Maybe.
 Twenty thousand downloads? Absolutely.
 A three-day free trial? Of course.
 Finding the podcast link on the very Facebook page where the podcast link is posted? Apparently too difficult.

And then comes a greeting for the ages:

“Nine hope you’re well.” 

Dream interpretation, artificial intelligence, podcast scams, digital marketing, childhood memories and Andy trying to keep up with all of it.

Just another week in the suburbs.

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What happens when someone promotes themselves to Walmart management and gives themselves free groceries for five months? Andy and Greg begin this episode with a ridiculous news story that somehow feels completely believable.

Then the conversation heads back to St. Louis, where a simple dinner with a longtime friend turns into an unforgettable comedy of errors. A missing cutting board. A chef’s knife hidden beneath appliance manuals. A house without a bowl big enough for a cantaloupe. And a lesson in why some people should never be left in charge of the kitchen.

Along the way, the guys talk about:

• A fake Walmart executive who almost pulled off the perfect scam
• The strange psychology of clipboards and confidence
• Cardinals baseball, stadium entertainment, and T-shirt cannons
• Jimmy John’s vs. Wendy’s chili
• Imo’s Pizza and St. Louis-style pizza
• Aging, friendship, caregiving, and the unexpected humor hiding in ordinary moments

Listeners tell us Welcome to the Suburbs is as polished and funny as a good morning radio show. We’ll take it.

If you enjoy comedy podcasts, funny true stories, Midwest humor, suburban life, baseball road trips, and conversations that wander in the best possible way, this episode is for you.

Subscribe, leave a review, and share Welcome to the Suburbs with someone who could use a laugh. 

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Andy and Greg take Welcome to the Suburbs on the road for a weekend in St. Louis, where a Cardinals game, an IndyCar race, and an Airbnb named Blue Bliss provide plenty to talk about.

It starts with the three things kids ask for most at the grocery store and quickly wanders into conversations with strangers, awkward bathroom encounters, sensory overload at sporting events, autonomous race cars, rogue robots, dueling Roombas, questionable construction, and the mysteries hiding inside an Airbnb refrigerator.

Then Greg and Andy discover the Blue Bliss guest book—and learn that previous guests may have experienced a very different version of the property.

From BattleBots and baseball mascots to abandoned condiments and random bottles of shampoo, Episode 91 proves once again that Andy and Greg can go almost anywhere and find something worth making fun of.

Listen, subscribe, and share Welcome to the Suburbs with someone who could use a laugh.

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What should be a simple request to replace a business sign turns into a bureaucratic adventure involving city zoning, council members, the Mayor of Indianapolis, and a decades-old ballet performance in a tutu.

Meanwhile, Greg and Keely’s week spirals into chaos. A shredded tire strands their daughter on the interstate, a suspected gas leak sends Rosslyn Retreat guests scrambling, plumbers appear and disappear, hot water goes missing, and Booking.com somehow manages to create a double-booking nightmare complete with accusations, refund demands, and a guest who insists Greg is a “lying liar.”

Andy and Greg share stories about short-term rental ownership, city government red tape, home repairs, customer service disasters, and the absurd moments that somehow become normal when you’re living in the suburbs.

In this episode:

• The Mint Aesthetics sign saga
• Dancing with the Mayor of Indianapolis
• Zoning battles and bureaucracy
• The Rosslyn Retreat gas leak mystery
• Weekend plumber adventures
• Hot water headaches
• Booking.com double-booking chaos
• Difficult guests and refund drama
• Why every problem seems to arrive in groups of three

Life in the suburbs isn’t always quiet. Sometimes it’s Signapalooza.

www.suburbspodcast.com