One of the worst things you could be in a cult is selfish.

Pursue a career? Selfish. Go to college? Selfish. Skip a meeting because you're too exhausted to feign interest? Selfish.

When you're handed the grandiose mission of saving the human race from Armageddon, even a tiny spark of personal joy starts to feel like a moral failure.

But now you're out. You survived. And for the first time, you can do anything you want.

The only problem? You’ve never been allowed to want anything for yourself. It feels weird. It feels wrong. You feel guilty.

(Which, of course, is by design.)

In this episode, we’re going to deconstruct and recalibrate the idea of "selfish"—and explore why taking care of your own needs isn’t just okay… it’s essential. For your healing, and for the people you love.

We’ll cover:

• How high-control religion weaponizes "selflessness" to keep you obedient

• Why everything we do—including “selfless” acts—is actually motivated by self-interest (and that’s not a bad thing)

• The beautiful irony: how prioritizing your joy makes you more generous, more grounded, and more whole

This is your permission slip to want things, try things, and be a little gloriously selfish—for your own sanity, healing, and yes, the joy of eventually giving back from a full cup.

DrRyanLee.com/beyondbelief

Don't come back until you've tried em all

From time to time we all get sucked into the sunken place of depression, and some of us sink deeper than others. Until recent year, I'd been in and out of the clinical depression hole most of my life. Today, I walk you through the fool proof blueprint I mapped out myself to climb out of that hole every single time, one I have walked many clients through successfully.

If you're struggle-bussing, this blueprint will get you out of the hole, and if you're not, it'll keep you out

More spiritual food to choke on... at the proper time

Today we're going to take the first of many stabs at the wonderfully awkward world of post-cult dating. Essentially, the challenge of learning things most people learned in high school at the age of 35. 

Here's the thing, you can't skip the mess. The mess builds the muscles. But we've put together some of the most common lessons learned for all you late bloomers that will hopefully make the leveling up process just a little bit easier. 

In this episode, we'll be starting, as usual, with the mess left to us by the cult, then moving on to the shame of feeling inexperienced, the most common pitfalls we'll likely fall into, and why it might be a good idea to fall into them anyway

Proper bullshit at the proper time

A playful breakdown of the narcissistic deflection cascade

Prior to my work with ex-JWs, I would generally encounter clients with parents on the narcissistic spectrum maybe around 20% of the time. Once I started working with ex-JWs, that number went up to about 80%.

This is no cute coincidence. There's a pattern here, and we spend this entire episode exploring that pattern in more detail, not only in how it presents in those on this spectrum, but also in the way the same characteristics can be seen in the organization itself, as a narcissistic entity.

Fresh off the tail of our very first ex-JW ayahuasca retreat, I'm thrilled to report that it surpassed all expectations. Today we're going to give you a breakdown of all the joy, surprises, and personal lessons learned in the process.

Through the retelling, we'll be touching on themes of connection, nuances of forgiveness, and something called "the caretakers dillemma". 

Today, we're talking about pain; more specifically Clean Pain vs. Dirty Pain:

Clean pain is the sharp but necessary pain of ripping off the Band-Aid. It heals you.

Dirty pain is the slow, grinding misery of avoidance. It traps you.

Ex-JWs know all about dirty pain—it’s what keeps people stuck in the cult, chasing after shunning family, or waiting for an apology that’s never coming.

So today, we’re breaking it all down: 🔹 How avoiding pain makes everything worse 🔹 Why the short-term hurt is the only way to long-term freedom 🔹 And why clinging to something dead is NOT in your best interest