Welcome to the World

The death spiral caused by people pleasing in relationships

Of all the common challenges faced by ex-JWs, people pleasing is at the number one spot for most universal. We can't help ourselves. We have been wired in every way imaginable towards having this disposition.

And lets be honest... it sucks

It's corrosive to our sense of well being, to our confidence, and extremely detrimental to our relationships.

In part one of this two-part episode, we take a long hard look at the ugly side of being (shudder) "nice"

As ex-JWs, we have our work cut out for us in terms of healing. From leaving the org, to connecting with our true self, redefining our spiritual beliefs, rebuilding our community... the list goes on.

All of this is even more challenging in light of the fact that we haven't really been taught how to approach self-directed growth.

Today, we break away from the more granular topics we normally focus on, and use a wider lens to understand the basic mechanisms and mindsets of "doing the work" which are guaranteed to produce the kind of traction and growth we're all looking for in our lives

So you've finally reached the end of your rope.

Despite all your best efforts to maintain the status quo and fly under the radar, you've reached a point where you just can't do it anymore. The pain and discomfort of hiding your true feelings has finally grown larger than your fear of leaving the organization.

While this is an empowering, momentous first step towards living a fuller, more fulfilling life, it begins with a period of upheaval which will inevitably create turbulence and often ruptures in your close relationships.

In today's episode, we'll help you prepare for this big moment by discussing:

• What to expect when they sense you slipping
• How to finally break the news, and come out of the closet
• How they will likely respond, and how to handle that

There was a time in my life when I rolled my eyes at the idea of therapy. It seemed ridiculous that simply talking with someone could ever lead to any kind of real change or improvement to my life experience. I'm delighted to report that I was very, very wrong about that assessment.

Today's episode is a bit of love letter to therapy. We talk about what is therapy, what it is not, how it can be helpful, what good therapy looks like vs bad therapy, and how to go about finding the right therapist (or counselor, or coach) for you.

If you've ever wondered what all the fuss is about, this episode is for you

Following up on the very positive response we received from part 1, in this episode we elaborate on these ideas around setting boundaries, and cover:

• Knowing when to set boundaries
• Different ways of speaking our boundaries and helpful phrases to use
• How to handle it when setting boundaries doesn't go as smoothly as we'd like
• And finally, how to put all these things into practice using practical examples

Waking up from the org can be a lonely adventure, and even more so when those in your immediate family are determined to stay asleep

In response to fan requests, today's episode will be devoted to discussing how to navigate this dynamic, and some questions to consider which will help determine how to move forward.

In part 1 we will discuss the best approach for coming out to your spouse

In part 2 we will dive into the question of whether it's worth trying to make the relationship work, and some things to consider when there are kids involved

Waking up from the org can be a lonely adventure, and even more so when those in your immediate family are determined to stay asleep

In response to fan requests, today's episode will be devoted to discussing how to navigate this dynamic, and some questions to consider which will help determine how to move forward.

In part 1 we will discuss the best approach for coming out to your spouse

In part 2 we will dive into the question of whether it's worth trying to make the relationship work, and some things to consider when there are kids involved