In this week's episode, I talk about the 4 main benefits of asking for help, from Brene Brown and Dr. Laurie Santos of the Happiness Lab. 1) True friendship involves reciprocal helping (not just one-sided help). 2) Evolutionarily, we were made to help each other, to live in tribes, and if we were alone and did not help others and accept help from others, we died. 3) When we help others, it makes us feel better which means that when we ask others for help, it also makes them feel better. Win/win! 4) asking for help helps avoid burnout and resentment, like the time when I refused to ask my husband to get me some bread when I had no time (last week) and instead just grumbled all week about having no bread. Resentment city. Action item: try to ask for help today or this week!

In this week's episode, I talk about what to do when you feel like you cannot do anything at all, which is really just an episode on processing difficult emotions in real time (in this case, right after the 2024 presidential election in the US). I talk about using creativity, completing your stress cycle (hugs, laughter, crying, exercise), being with our people and checking up on them/showing up for them, listening to my "smart women" as I like to call them (Dr. Brene Brown, Glennon Doyle, Dr. Laurie Santos and Anne Lamott) and giving ourselves a break when we just can't get anything done. Also, feeling our feelings instead of just burying them in work or alcohol or Tetris or chocolate or whatever. I also have a disclaimer that if you ever need more help, please stop listening to me and seek professional help since I am a linguist by trade, not a psychiatrist or therapist or social worker. Hang in there, everyone.

In this week's episode, I talk about the 4 ways that I have found have worked for me in terms of loving my job over 20+ years (though this works for all jobs, not just ones we've had for years). 1) Never stop learning, 2) change, grow and tailor your job to what you love, 3) have multiple parts/components to your job (and think of them as such) and 4) having freedom of thought. Action item: think of the 4 components to loving a job and determine if a job you currently have can benefit from a change in your actions or a change in your attitude. Mentioned in this episode: Adam Grant's book: Think Again: The Power of Knowing what you Don't Know.

In this episode, I talk about some of the things I did this week to take care of myself after the worst week ever. Oh I forgot to mention in the episode that tonight (Friday, the day I am recording) is Friday night Movie Night and we are watching Coco! I talk about the difference between moving through our emotions in a healing way rather than numbing them, and my action item is to think about some of the ways that you can help yourself to feel better without numbing your feelings. My favorite examples are bike riding (or anything outside), laughing so hard it hurts, dancing in my kitchen and a hot bath with Epsom salt. Also, I know I am not the only one who has ever had the worst week ever, and now you know that you are not either.

In this episode, I talk about the idea that we don't need to have just one friend (or partner, or parent, or child, or whatever) who is all things to us. Instead, we can diversify and have work friends, and friends from our childhoods, and friends who are the parents of our kids' friends. We can have friends who love bike riding and friends who love going to the movies and we don't have to force the bike riding friend to go to the movies or vice versa. We can have friends who are young and old and even our partners who hate coffee don't have to come on coffee runs with us if they don't want to, and that can be good for all parties, too. Action item: think about the friendships in your life and how you can play to the strengths of each one, rather than expecting one or two people to do everything to make you happy.

In this week's episode, I talk about my top 5 favorite study tips! If you aren't a student but just having a busy week, these can be useful for you as well. 1) Consider spaced rather than massed studying (spread out your studying rather than studying all at once) 2) Plan out your breaks 3) Eat healthy 4) Exercise (and don't beat yourself up if it's like 10 minutes a day) and 5) Study smarter, not harder! Listen for my tips and the app I was talking about where you grow trees is called the Forest app! Happy studying!

In this episode, I talk about how there are actually 3 components of real self-care, not just pedicures and baths. 1) solitary self-care (like pedicures and baths) but keeping in mind what actually helps YOU personally, not what you think you "should" be doing. 2) Social activities and volunteering (even in your own job) and keeping in mind that people generally like us more than we think they do (from the Happiness Lab by Dr. Laurie Santos) 3) setting boundaries and not doing things unless they are something you have to do, you want to do or you want to do to help someone you love. (This third one relates to capitalism and hustle culture, see We Can Do Hard Things for details) and 4) Coming up with a reasonable to do's list each week and where relevant, discussing it with a partner, roommate, your parents, etc. And remembering that your value is not determined by how much you do/check off your list each week! I forgot to mention the action item but it is: Write down 1 thing from parts 1, 2 and 3 that you can (or cannot) do this week, and work on your 2 do's list with a partner, roommate, or just your own list for yourself, keeping in mind what is possible and appreciating that you will never (ever) get "everything" done!

In this week's episode, I talk about The Book of Delights and The Book of (More) Delights by Ross Gay, and the practice of searching for delights each day in our lives. I also over-use the word "delight" many, many times, for which I do not apologize (OK maybe a little bit). I define delights (anything that brings us joy or pleasure), and give some examples of my own delights including many apple and peach related things, and many neighbor/community-related things. Delight "rules": when one finds a delight, one must pause, thrust one's finger up in the air and happily exclaim, "De-light". Action item: take a few times this week to pause and find delights in your own life. Write them down if you like, but even just pausing to mention them to yourself or others can make you feel much better.

In this episode, I talk about healthy ways to express our anger, from a book I recently read called Raising Good Humans by Hunter Clarke-Fields. This book explains that anger is an energy that moves through us, and we have to express it but in healthier, less destructive ways. The 5 ways I talk about, from Raising Good Humans, are 1) walk away 2) talk yourself down 3) shake it out 4) strike a pose and 5) breathe! Action item: the next time you are angry, pick one of the above and practice it. The Brene Brown book I mention in this episode is called Atlas of the Heart. Also, the Complete the Stress Cycle episode is from Week 12.

In this episode, I talk about my family's weekly tradition of Friday night movie night. I explain what we do and how it helps me to stay grounded and feel safe even in this crazy world we are living in these days. Action item: find an activity that can be YOUR Friday night movie night, with the following characteristics: 1) tradition/stability (something you do routinely at the same time/day etc. each week) and 2) bonding/community/connection (ie preferably something you do with other people). For extra credit, it can also involve 3) sharing/turn taking (switch off hosting a dinner, or whose house you go to, where you walk, etc.). I've noticed that I keep coming back to traditions on this podcast, and I really think they are important to help us feel stable, safe and well in the increasingly stressful, on the go, anxiety-filled world in which we live.