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In this episode, I talk about the "problem" with empathy, starting by definine compassion, pity, empathy, and sympathy (2 sets of near enemies), using Brene Brown's definitions from her book, Atlas of the Heart. I talk about the 2 different kinds of empathy (cognitive empathy, the "good" kind, and affective empathy, the "bad" kind) and give a practical example of all 4 of these emotions/concepts and how we would ideally use these concepts to help others (and why). Action item: When helping others, especially with emotional issues, try to ground yourself to feel cognitive empathy rather than affective empathy.
In this episode, I talk about three important life lessons that I have learned from bringing up a neurodiverse child. These lessons apply to kids but also to adults, neurodiverse and neurotypical. 1) Emotions are not a side thing, they are THE thing 2) set reasonable expectations for ourselves and others 3) kids (and adults) do well when they can (Ross Greene). If we use these lessons in our lives, we can be a little kinder to those around us and understand ourselves and others better. Action item: think about if these 3 things were true for everyone, how would they affect how you see the world and the people in it, and how could they help you in your life?
In this episode, I talk about the book Burnout: The Secret to Unlocking the Stress Cycle, by Emily and Amelia Nagoski. First, I explain how stress can build up and how and why we need to complete our stress cycles to avoid holding in all the stress or letting it all out on our families at home! I give concrete examples of ways to complete the stress cycle and an action item: Try to actively work to complete your stress cycle every day this week and see how you feel.
In this episode, I talk about how I got tenure (yay!) and although I am grateful and feel quite a bit relieved, actually my happiness levels are about the same as they were before (and my stress/anxiety). This is good/bad news because it does mean that once you get that (fill in the blank)- house, kid, promotion, job, wedding, etc.- you won't be able to start your "real" life or be happy then. The good news about this is it means that you can and should start taking care of yourself now, so that your baseline level of happiness is high (the other piece of good news I missed is that when awful things happen to us, the same is true! We will bounce back quicker and easier than we thought). I mention all of the things I've talked about before, (gratitude) journals, exercise, meditation, and having multiple methods of taking care of yourself so that if you can't do one or more things for a while (like how I couldn't run/walk/do anything except sit on a couch after surgery this summer), you will still have a few other things to fall back on.
In this episode, I talk about my love of plants and gardening, and how plants can help give you something to take care of, dig in the dirt, give you a little greenery even in a small apartment, and teach us so many lessons about life/death/taking care of things and letting go. Action item: if you can, go out and buy a plant to take care of this week (even for $5 or $7) and start benefitting! Last episode until the end of August, have a great summer, everyone!
In this episode, I talk about my experience with neurodiversity both in my students and my own family, about the Parenting ADHD podcast by Penny Williams which is saving me right now, I define neurodiverse and neurotypical and talk about some of my thoughts about "getting our minds right" (from Penny Williams) about ourselves and others who are neurodiverse. Action item: let's start changing our thoughts about neurodiversity being "bad" and neurotypical brains being "good" and start to think about ways in which we all need to learn more about neurodiversity to make everyone's lives better.
In this episode, I talk about transitions, liminal spaces (basically a fancy word for transitional periods), the past, present and future and how we can get through change, which is one of the few things that is consistent about life (that it always changes). Action item: give yourself time and space for reflection and to recharge during times of transition, to think about the past and future but also ground yourself in the present (through mindfulness/meditation) at the same time. Change is hard but it doesn't have to be scary if we give ourselves time to process it.
In this episode, I talk about nearing the end of the semester (project/whatever) and appreciating that in life, we are constantly going through cycles of being really busy, then resting, and we need to not forget the rest part at the end. This can happen at the end of a semester, but also when you have a big work project or even a baby. Action items: if/when you are going through a busy period, make things easier on yourself as much as you can, by getting rid of social media apps on your phone, scheduling that phone date with your friend for next week, and making a big batch of food to help you save time! And at the same time, plan either general or very specific rewards/down time when your busy cycle ends, to avoid burnout!
In this episode, I talk about my experience with meditating for 50 days in a row, including increased focus and calm, I talk about the reasons I finally started meditating and discuss the book Peak Mind by Dr. Amishi Jha, which explains that 12 minutes 5 days a week of meditating seems to be the key to increased focus. Action item: try to meditate! You can use the free version of the Calm App, Headspace, a You Tube video, or just put on a timer! Start with 3 or 5 or even 1 minute, and remember that you will lose focus and get distracted constantly, and that is OK!
In this episode, I talk about how we need both comfort and discomfort to get us to a better place when it comes to anxiety. I wrote this episode while I was reading 2 books at the same time- The Comfort Book, By Matt Haig, and Anxious Kids, Anxious Parents, by Reid Wilson & Lynn Lyons, and both were giving what seemed like opposite advice. The first was telling me to get over anxiety (and depression) through comfort- enjoying a PB&J, nature, hugs from family/pets etc. The second was telling me that if you don't get out and DO the things you are anxious about (ride in airplanes, go on chairlifts, get on the bus, whatever), you will never become less anxious about it. And, I decided, we need both. We need both the secure base of home AND the challenge/bravery etc. that comes from going out and doing the things we are anxious about. At the same time. Action item: see in what ways you can both make your home more comfortable and encourage yourself to get outside of your comfort zone at the same time!
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