Wenches of the Round Table

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Happy Halloween! This week, the planets are in retrograde, but that's nothing compared to the cosmic horror of the Sheep Squatch's late-night booty call. Join us at an off-grid cabin for a tale of terror featuring cheap Axe body spray, rancid swamp breath, and a 7-foot cryptid with "absolutely horrifying girth". Grab a box of sunset blush wine and lock the back door, because this cryptid encounter is one swipe-right away from a closed-casket funeral.

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This week, we're taking a trip down memory lane, straight into the trauma of childhood D.A.R.E. programs and the subsequent family fallout. We're also unpacking our current health woes, sharing our hatred for public exercise classes,and plotting a demolition derby featuring only Teslas and fighting robots. It makes sense in context, we promise.

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Content is not a legally defensible reason to die—unless you’re the Wenches of the Round Table. After surviving a week of viral expulsion and vocal drops that sound like a resurrected Egyptian pharaoh, we’re celebrating spooky season with a custom ChatGPT adventure into the heart of Eastern Kentucky. When a goat stands up on two legs in the driveway, Bex and Crew pack the trunk (whips and beef jerky included) and head to Black Widow Cemetery. Come for the ghostly debates on posthumous cost-of-living adjustments; stay for the Black Widow Holler Adult Social Club, a cheating centaur named Gary, and a 7-foot Sheepsquatch crashing the full moon party.

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From razors to trimmers and all through the bog

Not a creature was stirring not even the frog

Cinnamon whiskey and to concerts we roam

Grab some conditioner and let there be foam

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*trigger warning*

Kru relives old memories and Bex hits the floor absolutely not running. If medical emergencies bother you, maybe skip this one

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We listen and we do not judge.....sometimes.

Come listen and let the Wenches teach you how to work through hard moments and soft nipples while finding laughter and love.

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Before divorce was an option, Giulia Tofana offered Renaissance women a little discreet cosmetic help—and an alibi in a cosmetics bottle. This week, we dive into the lethal history of Aqua Tofana, the 17th-century slow-burn poison disguised as holy water, alongside Sheila Masterson’s The Poison Daughter. Grab your favorite (thoroughly tested) drink as we untangle murderous mothers, toxic family inheritances, and the ultimate way to ghost a terrible husband.

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Forget everything you know about old-school Appalachian medicine. This week, the Wenches are heading back in time to Leslie County, Kentucky, to uncover the wild history of the region’s legendary "Charm Doctors." We’re talking 19th-century male witches, mountain midwives, and faith healers who swapped stethoscopes for scripture, rootwork, and flat-out magic.

Tune in as we unpack the local legends of the men who could allegedly cure ailments, control animals, and even curse a hunter’s bullet. Grab your sassafras tea—things are getting wonderfully weird in the hollows.

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Send us Fan Mail

Hug your people.

Life is Short.

See you later, friends.

Rest in peace, Breanna Edwards and Brian Switzer. You will never be forgotten. Forever Wenches you will be. Until we meet again.

U.S. Bank has set up Memorial Fund Accounts for Brian and Breanna’s families and will be matching a portion of the gifts donated 

The two options to contribute to the Brian Switzer Memorial Fund and/or the Breanna Edwards Memorial Fund are at any U.S. Bank branch location or via mail to:

U.S. Bank – Bank by Mail

Attn: Breanna Edwards Memorial Fund | Brian Switzer Memorial Fund 

P.O. Box 1950

St. Paul, MN 55101-0950

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