What Drives You

#41: In this episode of What Drives You I continue on the topic of what drives your work and read through a bunch of listener comments that bring up a lot of incredibly relevant perspectives I feel will greatly benefit you and help you immensely enhance the depth of the drive you have for your work.

#40: Most will say money, then purpose, but what you’ll discover in this episode is this is akin to saying you like a romantic interest for their ears or nose, and it’s not enough to truly motivate us and inspire us to jump out of bed with joy for our work in the morning. Chances are, when you uncover what your real drive for work is and what you want it to be, it will give you new glasses in greatly increased fulfillment for why you work.

#39: In this episode of the What Drives You podcast I asked the audience, “What reasons drive you to pursue relationships and relational health? What is your motivation?” Only five people responded. Two weeks prior for episode 37 I asked, “What reasons drive you to exercise and eat well and increase and/or maintain your health and wellness?” and over 70 people responded. Which is intriguing, as we know statistically the primary drive of all humanity is relationships. The results here don’t contradict this truth, but instead reveal that even as it is our primary desire, we are often the least, specifically clear, on what we want out of our relationships and why. Let’s talk about it.

#35: Change is going to happen to us. Either it will force itself like the pandemic or an injury, or we’ll make it happen by trying to lose weight or start a business. What happens to us when we change? As you’re about to hear, there are often great and terrible consequences. I bring you Maya Shankar. Maya is a cognitive scientist and former Obama White House Senior Advisor. Maya actually founded the Behavioral Science Team at the White House, called “the Nudge Unit, which used insights from behavioral economics to write better public policy. Pushkin Industries is a podcast platform cofounded by Malcolm Gladwell and they brought Maya in to host a new podcast called, Slight Change of Plans. From the interviews Maya has conducted it’s altered her personal view of change, as she’s seen so many people proactively pursue change and succeed, yet testify to negative consequences they didn’t anticipate. Like the girl who lost 100 lbs and realized she was no longer who she was and who she liked, and she was disappointed at people’s new behavior to her just because she lost weight. And the health nut who got cancer and from it realized if he’d understood what dealing with cancer did for his mindset, he wouldn’t have feared it so much. Join me as I have a very candid discussion with Maya on the ins and outs of what happens to us when change...happens. And find her new podcast, A Slight Change of Plans, wherever you get your podcasts.

If I were hiring you for a position requiring leadership, creativity, or innovation or really anything beyond just menial work, I would ask you if you’ve ever encountered temporary failure while attempting anything significant. If your answer was, “No”, I would not hire you. If you haven’t dealt with a decent failure, then you haven’t tried much, or at least not much that required enough of you. Thus for any aspiring person, trying big enough objectives which bring you temporary failures is a desirable motive. In many sporting events for kids these days, everyone gets a “participation award” where there are no winners or losers. Few people encounter any real failure in the traditional education system and a majority of modest jobs offer fair compensation for work which has little to no risk. This breeds mediocrity and a stable working class. If you desire anything more you want to be trying things you can’t easily achieve and encountering temporary failures. Not absolute failures. Not high risk and damaging failures. But endeavors where you must face legitimate obstacles you must overcome. Where you may need to redirect and sometimes even start over completely in order to succeed. This is what grows intelligence, resilience, and wisdom.

Achievements is our muse today. Why they mean so much to us, why they are so important, and what we miss out on when we don’t pursue them. The point is not what the achievement is, but what it means to you, and the value we receive by having achievements in our lives we are proud of. Proud of, just for ourselves, but I’m not going to discount the value of social credibility as well in regard to our achievements. We are social creatures and the societal aspects of our achievements are not to be discounted. Let’s dig in and unpack how you can more healthfully perceive of the achievements you will find fulfillment in.

What are motives of later age that provide fulfillment?This was not a retirement focus so much as just asking how motives help and hurt in the latter years. What came up however was the profound value of having work you don’t want to retire from as the primary motive objective. As I’ve been in Florida for an extended time I had my Dad, Dan Miller of 48 Days To The Work You love fame, join me. He is 73 and wakes every morning excited about what he’ll accomplish in the next 20 years, while many of his peers are just bored. Passing the time. The stats show people who retire decline in health and well being due to a lack of purpose. Which makes this an episode relevant for anyone of any age to listen to. If you want to connect with Dan Miller tune in to his 48 Days To The Work You Love podcast wherever you get your podcasts.

Ashley worked in counter terrorism at a very young age and today has a large following around designing your dream career and a new book titled, “YOU TURN: Get Unstuck. Discover Your Direction. Design Your Dream Career." But it was her personal story that intrigued me. At age 10 her Dad had a panic attack about a business turned bad and he exclaimed to Ashley that money was going to kill him. Right then and there Ashley vowed, “I’m going to make a lot of money so that life is easy and I can save my dad from dying." She did that, but the thread I pull on is her lifelong quest to save and rescue and help people that is true to who she is, though today she does it with health and peace. From it you’ll find yourself clarifying what of your motives is true, even if you’ve pursued them, as I have at times, in some unhealthy paths. I encourage you to tune in with Ashley Stahl, find her at Y-o-uturnbook.com and her podcast by the same name.

Being a victim. We are all victimized at times, and we all suffer from feeling the victim at times. But let me preface and tell you this episode is a compassionate look at it. This is a non-clinical, real world discussion around the issue, and I brought back actor Matthew del Negro. He was my guest in episode 13 where we talked about his story as an actor, which he says is a profession of being rejected. His book is called “10,000 Nos” and he understands rejection and the temptation to feel the victim. The conversation brought us to a point we were not anticipating, and it’s the role of faith in combating being a victim. Not religious faith, but faith in ourselves and life overall and that we have more going for us than against us. And faith that embracing a victim role offers us absolutely nothing. I encourage you to check out Matthew’s podcast, and book by the same name, 10,000 NOs!

Chris Tuff is the renowned author of “The Millennial Whisperer." His initial motive that began the trajectory of his life? Beating his older brothers. In anything and everything. While that may not sound dramatic, the thread you’ll keep hearing in these shows is how often seemingly innocuous events in our youth direct the trajectory of our lives and we don’t even realize it. Chris found himself just 4.5 years ago, burned out. A wife, two kids, great success in work, and totally spent. He took a month-long sabbatical and reinvented his life. In this episode of the Motive podcast you’ll hear how his story unfolded, and through it I believe you’ll find aspects that reveal similar issues in your life, that you can reinvent. Find Chris at themillennialwhisperer.com