Let's talk about what we were never taught about grief, because let's be real, most of us grew up with this b.s. idea about what grief is, how it works, and who deserves to feel it, and when we deserve to feel it. So let's unlearn some of that together.

Some things need to die. Period. Not to complete a cycle, not to fit into our tidy narratives—just because they are done, and dragging them forward only feeds the rot, the stench, the futile energy.

That’s What I Let Die—a podcast series from Raising Free People Network about endings, grief, and what we make possible when we stop trying to tuck our losses away and start holding loss with skill and care.

Join me, Akilah S. Richards, Grief and Loss Educator and longtime podcaster, to feel through grief and relief for the many deaths within our lives. 

Episodes publish every Sunday, starting March 23rd. Listen on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or anywhere pods are casted.

In this second episode of the grief foundations section, I’m sharing some of the language, context, and real-life patterns that shape how I live with loss—and how I support others in doing the same.

In this one, I’m leaning into non-body deaths—the grief that doesn’t come with obituaries or casseroles. I talk about a Jamaican Patois term gifted it to my vocabulary by my mother's mother, my beloved grandmother, that captures the sudden absence of something you didn’t realize mattered until it was gone. A version of you, a relationship, a possibility, a belief. That’s kananápo. And when we name it, we make space to actually feel it—without rushing to fix or explain it.

I bring in words from Alua Arthur’s book, Briefly Perfectly Human, which beautifully echoes the truth that we don’t have to wait for someone to die to experience real, shape-shifting grief. Identity shifts, dreams deferred, relationships we thought would always be there... these are losses, too.

This episode is about becoming more fluent in the language of your own loss—especially the parts you were never taught to name as grief.

I also talk about: * The ways anticipatory grief shows up * How language (like kananàpo) helps us archive our personal histories * Why being with, not solving for, is the practice

We’re building a grief vocabulary here—not for the sake of becoming experts, but to feel less alone when the ground shifts.

This one is especially for you if you’ve been feeling something unnamed tugging at your sense of self, and you’re ready to slow down long enough to ask, “What have I lost that I never gave myself permission to grieve?” Come sit with it.

Next episode, we’ll get into the distinctions between grief, trauma, and depression—because those waters get murky, and language can help us move more gently through them.

As always, the links and resources live at radicalselfie.org, and the chat space is open for reflections, side stories, and soft landings. See you there.

Grief literacy—the ability to name, witness, and tend to endings—is a socially sanctioned ignorance. We are living in a time of collapse, irreparability, and profound shifts. But no one taught us how to hold loss. We were told to move on. To push through. To keep busy. But grief don’t work like that. When untended, it refuses to wait for permission or convenient timing.

And grief? It ain’t just about death. It’s about everything that’s been left behind. Relationships that no longer fit. Roles we’ve outgrown. Identities and dreams that had to die so we could keep living. My community calls these non-body deaths, Kananapo.

And here’s the thing—grief doesn’t disappear just because we ignore it. It settles in our bodies. It shapes our choices, our relationships, the way we move through a world that won’t stop shifting under our feet.

So, what happens when we stop running from grief? When we name it, witness it, and tend to it? We move from avoidance to presence. From grief-struck to grieftending.

Some things need to die. Period. Not to complete a cycle, not to fit into our tidy narratives—just because they are done, and dragging them forward only feeds the rot, the stench, the futile energy.

That’s What I Let Die—a 4-part podcast from Raising Free People Network about endings, grief, and what we make possible when we stop trying to tuck our losses away and start holding loss with skill and care. 

Join me, Akilah S. Richards, Grief and Loss Educator and longtime podcaster, to feel through grief and relief for the many deaths within our lives. 

Episodes publish every Sunday, starting March 23rd. Listen on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or anywhere pods are casted.