Just what is Sexual Ableism and why should I care about it?

Definition and Examples

• What is it - Sexual ableism is a system of beliefs that beliefs that discriminate against people with disabilities in dating, intimacy, and relationships, suggesting the very presence of a disability implies inferiority.

Sampling of Ableistic Beliefs Toward Sexuality

• Projections of people with disabilities as being “fragile” or “a potential victim.”
• Perceived need from caregivers to “protect” people from relationships, or at the very least, being “supervised.”
• A continued perpetuated myth that people with disabilities are asexual.
• Mistaken belief that people with disabilities have less to offer in relationships.
• False belief that people with disabilities generally get into unhealthy and unbalanced relationships.
• All of these beliefs perpetuate sexual ableism and keep people with disabilities isolated and lonely. The pain has to stop. People with disabilities need to take their rightful place as sexual – and sexy – beings.

How Sexual Ableism Manifests

In a dating survey, these are some of the ways people with disabilities report as barriers to dating as a result of sexual ableism:

• I’ll be rejected.
• I don’t have enough confidence.
• I’m concerned about someone accepting my disability.
• I don’t believe I’m attractive enough.
• I’m afraid to be a burden to someone.
• How this was true in my life because I bought into sexual ableism and didn’t date for many years.

Where We Go From Here

• Once we can identify sexual ableism, we can then begin to call it out. As we talk about it more, we can then begin to transform it.
• “Never doubt that a small group of thoughtful, committed citizens can change the world; indeed, it’s the only thing that ever has.” ~Margaret Mead

Resources for this episode:

• Dating Survey for people with disabilities 
• Download guide: Rising Above Sexual Ableism

Credits

Music by: https://www.purple-planet.com "Successful Motivation"
Artwork photo by Elevate

Check out our Dating Memberships:

Dating Made Easier (for all people wanting to date) - is a monthly membership for anyone (with or without disabilities) who wants support and guidance in dating skills and getting the RESULTS you want in dating and relationships. Click here to learn more.

Supporting Dating and Relationships membership (for special educators and professionals in disability services) - is for professionals in the disability field who are looking for training and resources to effectively help students/people with disabilities in developing dating and relationship skills. Click here to learn more.

Music by Successful Motivation |
Artwork photo by Elevate