Amy Reiley holds a master's degree in gastronomy and is a nutrition coach who has authored 5 cookbooks. She runs EatSomethingsexy.com, where she explores the connection between food and sexuality, having studied aphrodisiac foods for over 20 years.

Amy explains that food affects sexuality through multiple pathways: nutrition, physiological effects, and sensory experiences. For example, chili peppers raise body temperature and cause physical reactions that can enhance arousal. The key is personalizing food choices to the individual rather than following generic aphrodisiac lists.

For romantic dinners, Amy recommends keeping meals simple and light. Heavy foods like cream-based pasta can make people tired rather than energized. Better choices include fish, mushroom-stuffed ravioli, or wild game (lower in saturated fat, higher in protein). Budget-friendly options include roasted whole chicken instead of expensive cuts.

When addressing intimacy for people with disabilities who face assumptions about their sexuality, Amy suggests using intentional food choices and classic aphrodisiacs like sparkling wine (Spanish Cava is affordable), oysters, and chocolate as conversation starters to challenge these misconceptions.

Aphrodisiac eating works with any dietary restriction. Amy's website lists 88 aphrodisiac foods accommodating various needs. She emphasizes asking partners about their restrictions shows care—part of food as a love language.

Amy offers a free guide called "What Turns You On at the Table" at eatsomethingsexy.com/podcast, encouraging couples to explore how foods make them feel and connect mindfully around eating.

Write one belief statement for each of the 5 areas. Choose ONE to focus on weekly. Set a daily reminder to repeat it aloud 3 times—morning, midday, and before bed.

Why it works: Repetition rewires neural pathways. Speaking your new belief aloud, even when it feels untrue, trains your brain to believe something different about yourself.

Write 10-15 qualities that make you attractive as a partner—personality traits, skills, values, how you show up for people. Ask 2-3 trusted friends to add to your list. Keep it visible and read it when you feel defeated.

Why it works: When you're not getting results, you fixate on what you lack. This forces you to identify what you already have that draws people to you—qualities you should showcase in your profile and on dates.

Schedule a call with a trusted friend. Have them interview you: "What treatment do you deserve?" "What would excite you about someone?" "What's a dealbreaker?" Let them take notes and hold you accountable when you start settling.

Why it works: Saying your standards OUT LOUD makes them real. Having a witness creates accountability and gives you someone to call you out when desperation makes you forget what you deserve.

Record yourself discussing your disability as if on a date. First take: say what comes naturally. Listen back. Second take: reframe to emphasize resilience and value. Keep re-recording until it feels authentic AND confident.

Why it works: People sense inauthenticity. Practicing out loud develops muscle memory for confident communication. Hearing yourself say it with pride changes how you'll show up in real moments.

Commit to ONE scary action: message someone interesting, ask someone out in person, update your profile, say yes to a setup, or try a new way to meet people. Do it before you feel "ready."

Why it works: Action creates momentum. Hopelessness thrives in inaction. Taking action from new beliefs proves rejection won't kill you and builds confidence through evidence.

Five Beliefs to Successful Dating

Interested in coaching with me in dating and relationships? Check this out.

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Feeling hopeless in dating stems from negative beliefs about yourself, not actual flaws. Your mindset about your worth and what you offer influences dating success more than any other factor. When results don't come—no matches, no second dates—it's easy to spiral into "I'm not enough" thinking. The solution is shifting your core beliefs.

Old belief: "No results means something's wrong with me" New belief: "I'm kind and loving and deserve a great relationship"

Others sense your energy. Project confidence in your worth regardless of outcomes, and you'll naturally attract healthier connections. Your value isn't determined by swipes or texts.

Old belief: "My disability is why I'm failing" New belief: "Living with a disability makes me interesting"

Your comfort with your challenges heavily influences dating success. Reframe your disability as what makes you unique and resilient. The right person sees it as an asset.

Old belief: "I don't have what it takes to attract someone" New belief: "I attract people with my kind heart and warm personality"

Lack of results doesn't mean you lack attractiveness—you may not be showcasing your best qualities. Identify your endearing traits (humor, listening skills, creativity) and let those shine.

Old belief: "I should settle for anyone interested" New belief: "I deserve a healthy, happy relationship"

Desperation makes you lower standards. Believing you deserve respect and admiration helps you recognize quality connections rather than just any connection.

Old belief: "Beggars can't be choosers" New belief: "I deserve someone I'm excited about"

Get clear on qualities that matter most. This clarity helps you attract and recognize the right person instead of casting too wide a net.

Pick one belief statement and repeat it daily, even if it feels untrue initially. Notice the gradual shift in how you feel and show up in dating. Your beliefs create the energy that attracts results—not the other way around.

Five Beliefs to Successful Dating

Power to Attract guide

Take our Dating Success Quiz.

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Marriage and family therapist Pasha Marlowe, with 32 years of experience, discusses relationships through the lens of neurodiversity and non-apparent disabilities. She reveals that 53% of Gen Z identifies as neurodivergent and/or disabled, challenging common misconceptions.

Neurodivergence is an identity, not a diagnosis, encompassing autism, ADHD, dyslexia, traumatic brain injury, cerebral palsy, epilepsy, Down syndrome, and mental health challenges like anxiety, depression, CPTSD, and bipolar disorder. It represents anyone diverging from society's idea of "normal." This identity rejects the notion that differences equal disorder or brokenness, instead depathologizing and destigmatizing variations while acknowledging real challenges.

Access Intimacy: Partners share their access needs, support needs, and sensory needs—a universal practice beneficial for all couples, regardless of disability identity.

RESPECT Framework: Neuro-inclusive questions covering how people prefer to receive recognition, communicate, their energy levels, and sensory preferences for environments and activities.

Marlowe encourages removing "too" from descriptions—reframing "too emotional" as passionate, "too intense" as deep, and "impulsive" as spontaneous. She advocates for strength-based, affirming language rather than high/low functioning labels.

Communication tops the list of issues, with couples often feeling they speak different languages or interpret words and tones differently. Honoring sensory needs is crucial for nervous system regulation and preventing conflict.

The most important mindset shift: belonging to yourself first. Understanding personal values, truths, and needs creates wholeness whether partnered or not, preventing the "I'll be happy when" trap.

Contact Pasha here.

I recently pivoted my work in dating and relationships and began a new company, Relatability LLC. Our mission is simple but transformative: we believe love is for everyone, and we're dedicated to making relationships accessible for people with disabilities. We work at every level of the disability services ecosystem—training professionals, developing curriculums, and providing one-on-one coaching for individuals ready to pursue meaningful romantic relationships.

Our professional training programs create significant ripple effects. If you work in disability services, you know that dating and relationships are often the least addressed aspect of the lives you serve, yet it's one of the areas they care about most. Our training equips you with knowledge, sensitivity, and practical tools to support individuals in navigating romantic relationships, including our Five Stages of Dating Success framework you can implement immediately.

When professionals receive the right training, they create environments where people with disabilities feel empowered to pursue relationships with confidence and dignity. That transformation starts with investing in the people who do this vital work every day.

Our curriculum development includes our Empowering Relationships Curriculum and Five Stages of Dating Success, which will be published in a few months. These comprehensive, structured programs allow organizations to provide consistent, high-quality relationship education. They focus on building genuine self-worth that includes one's disability, increasing confidence in dating and relationships, and developing essential skills—deep dives into the mindsets and strategies that lead to healthy, fulfilling relationships.

I offer personalized one-on-one coaching for individuals ready to take action in their dating lives. We address specific challenges, fears, and goals each person brings. Whether you're just starting to think about dating, getting back into it, or working through obstacles, coaching provides accountability, guidance, and practical strategies to move forward with confidence.

Together, professional training, curriculum development, and individual coaching create a comprehensive ecosystem. Professionals facilitate conversations and create supportive environments. Organizations implement curriculums that normalize relationship education. Individuals receive personalized coaching to apply these principles. That's how we're making love accessible—through sustained, multi-level support that creates lasting change. Visit relatabilityllc.com to learn more.

Take our dating quiz or give it to someone you support.

Dr. Robin Buckley, a clinical psychologist turned executive coach,  specializes in helping female executives apply business strategies to their personal relationships.

Dr. Buckley addresses how people—especially those who've been divorced or experienced relationship failures—often believe they're "not the relationship type." She explains this self-defeating thinking comes from the amygdala (fear center) and recommends challenging these thoughts with evidence to engage the prefrontal cortex (logical brain).

A key strategy Dr. Buckley recommends is creating a personal mission statement. She encourages clients to research how companies craft mission statements, then apply that structure to identify their own values, purpose, and unique traits. Her personal example centers on kindness as her highest value—a non-negotiable in all her relationships. The guide to writing a Kick Butt Dating Profile can help with this.

When discussing women with disabilities in dating, Dr. Buckley emphasizes separating disability from identity. She encourages focusing on what challenges have created in one's personality—resilience, humor, perseverance—rather than leading with the disability itself. Authenticity and acknowledging "the elephant in the room" with humor can help move past surface-level judgments.

Dr. Buckley addresses how people with disabilities are often not seen as sexual beings. Her advice: know your own body first through self-exploration, then clearly communicate preferences to partners. A good partner will be willing to learn and be guided.

Put yourself out there despite vulnerability. Exposure is how others learn to understand and connect. While the burden often falls on those with disabilities to educate others, they hold the power to create change.

Contact: drrobinbuckley.com and various social media platforms @drrobinbuckley.

Dating isn't magic—it's a skill set. If you have a disability and feel dating is complicated or terrifying, know this: it can be learned with time, guidance, and resilience. I've dedicated my practice to helping people with disabilities transform their dating lives. If you're ready to stop feeling stuck, keep listening.

Dating is hard. You'll face rejection. But every "no" gets you closer to the right person. Every disappointment is data on your journey. You shouldn't do this alone. If you live with a disability, you've already built resilience in ways others haven't. That's a superpower. Together, we'll harness it.

I use the Five Stages to Dating Success. A quiz identifies where you are, then we get clear on what skills help you level up. I give you specific activities that build those skills. This is where the real work begins.

One fun part is creating twenty-five Worthy Fails for thirty days. A Worthy Fail is a deliberate attempt at something challenging, knowing it might not be perfect—and that's okay. Strike up a conversation. Practice boundaries. Send that message. These are experiments that build competence and confidence.

I work with three-session packages because one session isn't enough. Each is thirty minutes focused on what you do next. Between sessions, you take action. Real transformation happens through action. All sessions are virtual on Zoom. I also offer low-cost sessions for people on Social Security. You pay one at a time with proof of benefits.

You'll gain increased self-esteem that spills into all areas of your life. You'll have a concrete dating plan. You'll feel secure bringing your disability into dating, knowing it adds to your value. You'll develop healthy boundaries and a clear vision of the partner you want. And you'll know you have the resilience to keep going—with someone in your corner believing in you.

Take the Dating Success Quiz. Reach out. I'm taking on a limited number of clients. Maybe you need a three-session package or low-cost sessions. Either way, let's talk. You deserve a partner. You deserve a healthy relationship. You deserve to know you have what it takes.

Joni Woods is the author of "Burned, Blocked, and Better Than Ever," a book about her divorce experience and re-entry into dating. She wrote the book while going through her divorce in 2016 after 15 years of marriage, exploring both the pain of separation and the unexpected joy of dating again at age 36. She is also a mother of two.

Joni stayed in an unhealthy marriage for years, spending 8 of 15 years in marriage counseling. The turning point came during a therapy session when her ex-husband claimed 100% of their problems were her fault. Even after years of therapy, he believed she hadn't changed or done the work. This moment made Joni realize the relationship would never improve, and she decided to leave.

A key concept in her book is "performing peace"—constantly putting aside her own needs to maintain household harmony. Despite being a stay-at-home mom, her love language was words of affirmation, yet her husband refused to acknowledge her efforts, believing she was simply doing what was expected. This pattern of self-sacrifice left her emotionally unfulfilled.

Joni discovered radical self-awareness by rejecting external expectations. Having spent her life as a pastor's wife adhering to church standards, she realized she didn't have to conform to others' definitions of who she should be. A missions trip incident—where she was criticized for showing kindness to a struggling team member—sparked her decision to live authentically rather than by imposed rules.

Re-entering the dating world through apps shocked Joni with people's candor and requests. However, she also found many hurting individuals using dating to cover unresolved pain. Dating taught her she had an "inner tigress"—confidence and empowerment she'd suppressed for years. She grew comfortable being single and not needing relationships, which paradoxically made her more confident in dating.

Joni observes that people staying too long in unhealthy relationships often jump into rebound relationships without processing their pain. The critical first step toward change is self-reflection and accountability—understanding the role you played, not from guilt, but to prevent repeating patterns. She emphasizes that rejection isn't personal; it reflects the other person's limitations, not your worth.

For readers with disabilities facing rejection fears, Joni advises embracing self-love first and recognizing that rejection is about another person's capacity, not your value. She encourages people to define themselves on their own terms and love all parts of themselves.

Relationships and dating should be fun and life-giving. If you're miserable and not enjoying your relationship, it's worth reconsidering. Connection should bring joy, not drain your energy.

Joni's website and book information

Connect with Joni on Instagram

Dating with a disability feels impossible until you take action. The impossible becomes possible through perspective shift and meaningful action.

A worthy failure is an intentional attempt where you take a calculated risk and learn from the outcome. Rejection, awkward conversations, and unsuccessful dates aren't signs you're not good enough—they're data. From a growth mindset, every experience builds confidence and self-understanding.

Rejection stings harder with a disability because we wonder if it's disability-specific. But rejection doesn't mean you're unlovable. It might mean incompatibility, timing, or needing a different approach. The key shift: see failure as a catalyst for growth, not something to avoid.

Intentional action means consciously deciding to risk and learn. Update your dating profile authentically, reach out to people, attend social events, have vulnerable conversations. Each action builds evidence that contradicts limiting beliefs about your worth.

Set a goal for 25 worthy dating attempts per quarter. This removes pressure and shifts focus from outcome to process. Research shows this yields better results because people are more relaxed and authentic.

Beyond finding a relationship, intentional dating builds confidence, self-awareness, and sexual power. For people with disabilities, reclaiming desirability directly counters cultural desexualization. Every time you show up authentically, you reclaim your power.

Get clear on what you actually want, not what you think you should want. Embrace discomfort in reaching out. Invest energy strategically in dating apps and communities that matter. Plan how you'll handle rejection ahead of time—don't react from hurt; follow through on growth.

Your impossible goal—finding a partner, going on dates without catastrophizing, being honest about your disability, building a healthy relationship—sits on a pile of worthy failures. You have more power than you've been told. Take those first 25 steps.

If you're listening around the time this publishes, it's the holiday season—and if you're single, loneliness may be hitting hard.

You're not alone. I recently asked single people with disabilities about their holiday feelings. Their responses: wondering why they're still single, missing loved ones, wanting someone to cuddle by the fire with. I remember feeling that same loneliness for years, watching family and friends build their own families.

These feelings are human and understandable. This episode explores how to cope with them—and how to use them to your advantage.

Acknowledge How You Feel

When loneliness and longing strike, simply acknowledging them can help enormously. You might resist: "Why admit sadness about being alone?" But facing your feelings creates emotional release. You stop pretending they don't exist, stop pushing them down.

Remember: an emotion is part of you, not all of you. Don't fear being overwhelmed—most emotions, when fully felt, last only about 90 seconds. And don't judge yourself for having them. Be gentle with yourself. Self-judgment on top of hard emotions only makes things worse.

Use How You Feel for Fuel

Looking back at my single years, I did something crucial: I used my loneliness to motivate myself to keep taking risks, keep dating, keep trying to meet someone.

I wanted that vision—waking up with my own family, cuddling by the fire. (Reality check: my husband and I barely use our fireplace because it's so much work.)

How can you take your struggle this season and channel it toward your own vision? Let that longing propel you forward.