Joe and Cecile meet the masked vigilante of Greensboro and Drew throws sand in our food. We overshare and get a glimpse of future Joe, then we answer questions from our future overlords. Then Joe covers us in beans and we fight a Giraffe.

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It’s our worst episode yet! Not in a, “this is a bad episode,” kind of way. More like in a, “I feel like I need to take a shower now,” kind of way. I mean we still do other stuff. We become expert botanists. We lead singalongs. We fill the world with art. But yeah. It nasty. Music by Throck Morton.

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We do stuff. None of it matters because the bracket is back and this week it’s candy bar standards. Also Cecile murders a bunch of gingerbread men. That part was rough…music by Throck Morton.

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We debate how old toddlers are and Drew hires a genie exorcist. We say the word “moist” a bunch and then come up with our best business idea yet. Joe joins Team Rocket. Gavin starts another cult. We sell out. Music by Throck Morton.

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Drew has taste tested the hottest drink garnishes and he’s here to give us his review. Then, we reject villainy in the name of commerce. Cecile commits a federal offence against a postal employee. We set off on an adventure to the worst bathrooms we’ve ever seen, then we offend every Italian we’ve ever met. Also we play a game.

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No Joe and Cecile this week, so Chris, Drew and I decided to try out an idea we’ve been talking about for a while. It’s a podcast about cash grab movies that turned into absolute trainwrecks. It’s Cashwreck! And it’s all about The Island of Dr. Moreau. This one’s got it all! Hand melting spiders! A warlock named Skip! And the wonderful weirdness of Marlon Brando! You are in for a treat.

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Chris is out of town, so our good friend DJ Karolina does his best to mix in a whirlwind while Joe tries his best to bring the whole thing down. Then we ruin Koalas for Drew, ourselves, and probably you if I had to guess. We rank our friends and turn a whole city against us. Then, Drew shares his one simple tip for burning your house down using only a toaster and a slice of pizza. Finally, we rise up and wrest the means of production for the proletariat. With steroids.

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Cecile tries to get off of introduction probation and ends up writing the B plot for Grown Ups 3 (Hey, Columbia! Call us!). Then we debate chips and salsa or bread for the table. Cecile tries to make us do keg stands and Drew gives us an update on the Chicken Sandwich Wars. Finally, Joe does horrible things to our genitalia, but Cecile somehow comes out of it with a superpower. It’s your standard food-centric, body horror podcast.

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Drew share’s his million dollar ideas and Joe throws Cecile under the bus. We hard reboot the Forrest Gump Cinematic Universe, then ponder society’s greatest questions. Do babies like salsa? Can you take an egg through airport security? How much road are you legally entitled to? Gavin continues to make his case as history’s greatest super villain. Finally we all agree to meet back here 20 years in the past.

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Joe chokes on a chicken wing and takes two hearts worth of damage. Then we plan Drew’s counterintel-cast to throw his mom off the scent and the North Carolina educational system fails us once again. We reinvent the very concept of written communication, then play a game I stole from children on the internet. Joe makes a last stand and we all make ourselves unemployable. Music by Throck Morton.

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