What Rules!?: A career podcast for women of color

Have you ever had to break up with a friend? How do you know when it's time to let them go? Or what if it's not time but you're not sure how to have a conversation to find out?

This week, Alisa, Rosa, and Merary go deep into their own theories about what healthy friendship looks like and what to do when you're ready to say goodbye.

"As human beings, if we've invested a lot of time into something, we're more likely to want to continue the relationship. Just because we've invested a lot, we assume that we should continue this relationship when that's not necessarily true. And I think we need to normalize outgrowing relationships with people." – Dr. Marisa G. Franco, Friendship Expert

Topics discussed in this episode:

• Creating a framework to let friends go
• Ambiguous loss
• Reciprocity Theory
• Other theories on compartmentalizing friendships
• Healthy vs. unhealthy relationships
• Three factors to stay in a relationship

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More from Dr. Franco: Website | Instagram | Twitter | Psychology Today

More from Rosa: LinkedIn

More from Merary: MerarySimeon.com

More from Alisa: The Happy Cactus

Did you know there's actual research that indicates that most people like you more than you think they do? Well, Dr. Marisa G. Franco knows it, which is why she's writing a book all about how to make friends as an adult. Listen as Alisa and Merary discuss what real friendship looks like in their professional and personal lives.

"There's a point at which the desire to protect yourself becomes a harm. When you're rejecting people before they reject you and you're not experiencing the feelings of connecting with other people, the feeling of being replenished and rejuvenated, the feeling of being seen and known. All of those are something that you might be missing out on in your journey to self protect." – Dr. Marisa G. Franco, PhD

Topics discussed in this episode:

• The Liking Gap
• Underestimating first impressions
• Making friends takes work
• You're more likable than you might think
• Self-protection vs. self-harm
• Being intentional about making friends
• Racial preferences and unconscious bias
• The highest honor of friendship

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More from Dr. Franco: Website | Instagram | Twitter | Psychology Today

More from Rosa: LinkedIn

More from Merary: MerarySimeon.com

More from Alisa: The Happy Cactus

The Highest Honor of Friendship (minute 18:19 in this episode) is an excerpt from a post on Wonderoak by Jess Johnston.

When Gloria Diaz was wrapping up her undergraduate studies, she had no idea that her adventures in higher education were far from over. Listen as she shares why entering her PhD program was a leap of faith and how she's learned to lift her fellow Latina up along the way.

“If I've seen further than anyone else, it's because I'm standing on the shoulders of women that came before me. I know I'm not going to be at the top forever and I'm happy to be the support system for another woman at the top.” – Gloria Diaz, PhD Student

Topics discussed in this episode:

• Together we're stronger
• Healthy competition
• Latinas in STEM
• The value of mentorship
• Harnessing the power of the system
• Shine theory

More from Gloria: Instagram | Twitter

More from Rosa: LinkedIn

More from Merary: Activate Conference (TX)

More from Alisa: The Happy Cactus

Dr. Shreya Soni knows the power of listening to your body and advocates for better health by encouraging women to ask more of their doctors. Listen as she shares with Alisa, Rosa, and Merary about the importance of preventative healthcare and supporting ourselves all the time.

“You have to know that you're worth it and you deserve better treatment. Challenge your healthcare system, challenge your medical providers, and know that your doctors work for you.” – Dr. Shreya Soni, ND

Topics discussed in this episode:

• Different approaches to modern medicine
• Understanding the health gap
• Finding a doctor who listens to you
• Learning to listen to your body
• Practicing self-care
• Breakdown of the menstrual cycle
• Being period positive

More from Dr. Soni

Facebook

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Website

More from Rosa

LinkedIn

More from Merary

Activate Conference (TX)

More from Alisa

The Happy Cactus

On the road to an amazing career and a fulfilling life, at what point are you ready to slow down and start a family? And where's the rule that says you even have to slow down at all? This week, Alisa, Rosa, and Merary reflect on the wisdom of past guests and discuss the age-old question, can women have it all?

In her life as an advocate for education equity, Myrna Castrejón knows that in order to be truly happy, you can't avoid the pain that often accompanies growth. But through hardship, we earn a lasting joy. For her, that joy is rooted in service. Listen as Rosa and Alisa discuss what they learned from chatting with Myrna about what real happiness looks like.

Carolynn Johnson still recalls the exact moment she was done being the model employee and started owning her power. As CEO of DiversityInc, she now owns it daily by choosing to be an ally to the communities she serves. Listen as Rosa and Alisa reflect on Carolynn's lessons about the power of relationships and how to own that power for good.

Imagine founding the world’s largest startup competition for women and technology and still feeling like an imposter. For Leanne Robers, understanding those feelings and learning to overcome them is part of her journey. Listen as she talks with Alisa and Merary about her secrets to opening doors and turning negative thoughts into positive empowerment.

In one of our recent episodes, Alisa, Rosa, and Merary touched briefly on the idea of reframing conversations from being difficult to being meaningful. But what does that really mean and how do you make a habit of it? We’re living in unprecedented times and with so many essential conversations happening every day, now is the time to start.

Told by her Iranian grandmother that girls shouldn’t play outside, Samira Saffarzadeh grew up always trying to be one of the guys. Now, as Supervisor of Capital Delivery Systems at Pacific Gas & Electric, she’s creating a culture that values representation and support for people in the Middle East, Europe and North Africa. Listen to her talk to Rosa, Merary & Alisa about her journey to embrace her identity as an Iranian-American woman.