Feeling stuck in your life? Whether it’s your job, a relationship, where you live, or even your drinking habits—what if you’re not actually stuck at all?

In this episode, I’m breaking down the real reason so many of us feel stuck: we’re avoiding making a decision. I talk about why decision-making feels so hard, how overthinking keeps us in place, and the hidden cost of staying exactly where we are.

I also share my personal story of coming out and how finally making one decision changed everything in my life.

If you’ve been feeling stuck, overwhelmed, or unsure what to do next, this episode will help you start moving forward.

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I’m Tad Hopp, a life coach who helps queer people navigate life transitions without spiraling, stalling, or self-sabotaging.

If this episode resonates, you can learn more about working with me at the link in the show notes.

Book a call with me here: https://calendly.com/thopp84/30min

Follow me on Instagram and TikTok: @magicaltadrigal

If you’re a sober gay man and dating feels harder than it used to, you’re not alone—and you’re not doing anything wrong.

In this episode of What That Drink Cost Me, I break down the 3 biggest dating mistakes sober gay men make—and why these patterns can leave you feeling stuck, disconnected, or ready to give up on dating altogether.

We’ll talk about:

• ​ Why avoiding dating after getting sober keeps you stuck in loneliness
• ​ How trying to recreate “drunk intimacy” actually blocks real connection
• ​ The hidden ways dating apps can limit your chances at meaningful relationships

The truth is, you’re not bad at dating—you’re just learning how to do it without alcohol.

This episode will help you shift your mindset, understand what’s really going on beneath the surface, and start approaching dating in a healthier, more intentional way.

If you’re ready to build real connection, confidence, and intimacy in sobriety, this episode is for you.

👉 I’m also hosting a Dating in Sobriety workshop where I’ll go deeper into how to navigate first dates, build confidence, and create real connection without alcohol. You’ll find the signup link here: https://www.eventbrite.com/e/dating-after-sobriety-tickets-1985274619830

Want to book a call with me to discuss working together? Do that here: https://calendly.com/thopp84/30min

Dating is supposed to get easier when you get sober… right?

So why does it suddenly feel more awkward, more uncomfortable—and honestly, harder than ever?

In this episode, I’m breaking down why dating in sobriety can feel so challenging at first—and why that doesn’t mean you’re doing anything wrong.

Because the truth is, alcohol was doing more for your dating life than you probably realized.

When you remove it, you don’t lose your ability to date—you lose the shortcut.

We’ll cover:

• Why confidence feels lower without alcohol

• How social anxiety shows up differently in sobriety

• Why connection feels slower (and why that’s actually a good thing)

• The real reason vulnerability feels so much harder

I also share a personal story from early sobriety that perfectly captures just how awkward sober dating can feel—and why that’s part of the process.

If you’ve ever felt like you forgot how to date after getting sober, this episode will help you understand what’s really going on—and how to start building real confidence and connection without relying on alcohol.

If this is something you’re currently struggling with, I’m hosting a live workshop on dating and building connection in sobriety where we’ll go deeper into all of this.

You can find the link to sign up here: https://www.eventbrite.com/e/dating-after-sobriety-tickets-1985274619830

Listen to my interview on the move abroad coach podcast: https://open.spotify.com/episode/4O8Xm5FQ5ZB65Xxm6UTPiO?si=76HwTOfkTtaG3P7dfzFbFg&t=4465

Book a call with me: https://calendly.com/thopp84/30min

You probably thought you were good at dating. So when you get sober, you think you have to figure it all out. But in this episode, I push back on that idea that you were good at dating. Instead, I suggest that perhaps you were just letting the alcohol mask your abilities. I unpack the ways in which alcohol makes us think we are good at dating and what happens when we can no longer rely on it.

Want to join my dating after sobriety workshop? Sign up here: https://www.eventbrite.com/e/dating-after-sobriety-tickets-1985274619830

Book a discovery call with me: https://calendly.com/thopp84/30min

Follow me on Instagram and TikTok @magicaltadrigal

In this episode, I unpack the biggest fears that I hear from my clients about dating in sobriety. I talk through each one and offer suggestions and alternate ways of looking at them. If you’ve been having some of these same fears, this episode is for you.

Sign up for my workshop on dating after sobriety:

Dating after Sobriety https://www.eventbrite.com/e/dating-after-sobriety-tickets-1985274619830?utm-campaign=social&utm-content=attendeeshare&utm-medium=discovery&utm-term=listing&utm-source=wsa&aff=ebdsshwebmobile

Follow me on Instagram and TikTok: @magicaltadrigal

There’s a loneliness in sobriety that often doesn’t get talked about or is overlooked. In this episode. I’m unpacking what that loneliness is, how to combat it and share my own story of how I dealt with it. This episode is for you if you ever thought sobriety would magically make your social life easier or better.

If this episode resonated with you and you’d like to speak with someone to help you navigate loneliness in sobriety, book a call with me here: https://calendly.com/thopp84/30min

Follow me on Instagram and TikTok @magicaltadrigal

Getting sober is supposed to fix everything… right?

A lot of people believe that once they quit drinking, their confidence improves, dating gets easier, and relationships magically fall into place.

But for many people - especially gay men - sobriety can actually expose deeper struggles around intimacy, vulnerability, and connection.

In this episode, I talk about why sobriety doesn’t automatically fix your dating life and why intimacy can actually feel harder at first. Without alcohol to numb anxiety or act as a social lubricant, many of us suddenly have to face things we’ve been avoiding for years: fear of rejection, body insecurity, loneliness, and vulnerability.

I also break down the three shifts that actually help intimacy improve in sobriety, including learning to tolerate vulnerability, redefining connection, and building real confidence without alcohol.

If you’ve ever worried that sobriety might make dating or relationships harder, this episode is for you.

Sobriety doesn’t ruin intimacy - but it does ask you to build differently.

If you’re struggling with connection, dating, or loneliness in sobriety, you can book a call with me here: https://calendly.com/thopp84/30min

If this episode resonated with you, please leave a rating and review - it helps more people discover the show.

In this episode, I unpack what sex in sobriety can look like along with talking about many of the fears we have about sex and intimacy in sobriety. I talk about my own journey with sex in sobriety and talk about the ways in which getting sober actually made my sex life better. Topics covered include setting better boundaries, having self confidence and what intimacy in sobriety actually looks like.

If you’ve been worried about giving up drinking because you don’t know how you’ll have sex without “liquid courage”, this episode is for you.

Book a call with me: https://calendly.com/thopp84/30min

Follow me on Instagram and TikTok: magicaltadrigal

Are you wondering how to reconnect with your body after getting sober? In this episode, I share my own experience of getting fit in sobriety. I talk about how alcohol prevented me from creating a consistent work out routine, how getting sober taught me to trust my body and how too often we substitute an addiction to fitness for alcohol. This episode won’t help you develop a workout routine but it will motivate you to consider how you can take care of your physical health in sobriety.

Book a call with me here: https://calendly.com/thopp84/30min

Follow me on Instagram and TikTok: magicaltadrigal

What happens when recovery spaces weren’t built with your brain or body in mind? In this episode, I explore sobriety through the lens of disability — sharing my lived experience with cerebral palsy and autism, and why building a recovery model that fits you is essential for long-term success.

Listen to me on the way out podcast: https://open.spotify.com/episode/32FjWoUAchYbFPEUOQ5gU6?si=z5vI4QN0QjGL-0as6HhPeA

Book a discovery call with me: https://calendly.com/thopp84/30min