What the HELL Were You Thinking?

Show Notes Episode 246: “I’m Berning, I’m Berning for You!”

This week Host Dave Bledsoe feels the Bern and tries to get out the vote in Iowa by drunk dialing people in Boise. (In his defense, he’s never BEEN to Iowa, unlike Boise.) On the show this week, the editorial board of the show makes our 2020 Democrat Primary Endorsement only to have it overruled by Dave threatening to fire us all. (Help us Liz Warren, you’re our only hope!)

Along the way we learn about the way we do a quick overview of the remaining candidates for the nomination and wonder why they are bothering. Then we switch over to why Sanders is surging before the voting starts. (Heart attacks give you superpowers!) For fun, we go to why the Democrat Party and their corporate masters are skid marking their tighty whities over the idea that Bernie might win. (Because they know he could win and it scares the shit out of them) Then we officially give our editorial endorsement to Bernie Sanders for 2020 and explain exactly why. (Turns out: Spite!)

Our Sponsor this week is Hindsight, showing you things you OUGHT to already know! We open the show with Dave from many years ago and close with the Muphin Men needing antibiotics.

Show Theme: https://www.jamendo.com/track/421668/prelude-to-common-sense

The Show on Twitter: https://twitter.com/TheHell_Podcast

The Show on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/whatthehellpodcast/

The Show on Soundcloud https://soundcloud.com/david-bledsoe-4

www.whatthehellpodcast.com

Give us your money on Patreon https://www.patreon.com/Whatthehellpodcast

The Show Line: 347 687 9601

Closing Music: https://youtu.be/mInW2zf-uWY

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Episode 245: “We’ll Never Be Royals”

This week Host Dave Bledsoe issues a “royal decree” exempting him from paying for his own drinks and is promptly “deposed” by the bouncers. Again. On the show this week we are talking The Firm, not the CIA but the British Royal Family. (Though both are dominated by Reptilian Aliens).

Along the way we examine the LONG fascination Americans have for their former monarchy going all the way back to the whitewashing of George III. (He was quite mad you know!) We tour through the various royal crushes from Victoria to Wallis Simpson. (You think you know her, but you don’t) We look at the most beloved of our current crop of pasty British Overlords and who is not so popular. (Turns out, you can’t bang a teenager against their will like the old days, hey Andy?) Then we spend our time trying to wean our easily distracted citizens off foreign royalty and onto our own Noble Sons and Daughters. Finally, we solve the Pressing Issue of our time in the simplest, least painful and most ridiculous way possible. (Par for us, we guess.)

Our Sponsor is Sun King Resort and Casino, live like royalty were MEANT to! We open our show in the Court of Louis XVI and close with Postmodern Jukebox explaining our social station.

Show Theme: https://www.jamendo.com/track/421668/prelude-to-common-sense

The Show on Twitter: https://twitter.com/TheHell_Podcast

The Show on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/whatthehellpodcast/

The Show on Soundcloud https://soundcloud.com/david-bledsoe-4

www.whatthehellpodcast.com

Give us your money on Patreon https://www.patreon.com/Whatthehellpodcast

The Show Line: 347 687 9601

Closing Music: https://youtu.be/VBmCJEehYtU

Citations Needed:

Diana: Lost Princess of Wales haunts Americans 20 years after death

https://www.usatoday.com/story/life/2017/08/31/diana-lost-princess-wales-haunts-americans-20-years-after-death/529355001/

Why we're still intrigued by the duchess from Baltimore

https://www.baltimoresun.com/features/bs-ae-wallis-simpson-20110422-story.html

America’s favorite British royal is Queen Elizabeth II

https://today.yougov.com/topics/international/articles-reports/2019/12/03/americas-favorite-british-royal

The Queen has been crowned the nation's favourite royal in a new poll

https://www.harpersbazaar.com/uk/culture/culture-news/a28731349/most-popular-british-royals-revealed/

The Royal Family Is Getting Increasingly Expensive For UK Taxpayers

https://www.forbes.com/sites/niallmccarthy/2019/07/01/the-royal-family-is-getting-increasingly-expensive-for-uk-taxpayers-infographic/#1447fcc914a4

The Case for Making Donald Trump King of America

https://www.washingtonpost.com/opinions/a-role-fit-for-donald-trump-king-of-america/2016/04/11/e2b7b028-001d-11e6-b823-707c79ce3504_story.html

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Episode 244: “Greetings From the President of the United States”

This week Host Dave Bledsoe would be texting random Gen Zers telling them they are to report to the Army ASAP, if he actually knew any. (The young find him creepy and strange) On the show this week, we check our registration status with the Selective Service only to discover we never bothered to sign up. (Oops!)

Along the way we discover that we did not come here to talk about Alice, or the restaurant, we came to talk about The Draft. (Again, there is no Draft at the moment!) We go all the way back to before we were a country to see how the brave men of the Colonies used to militia to keep out of actual fighting! (The George W Bush of their day!) Then we look at how the brave men of America reacted to the first REAL draft in history! (They killed a bunch of Black People.) Then we learn how the modern Selective Service System evolved from a crooked bunch of local bigwigs keeping rich kids out of the war into a totally fair and random systems that still keeps rich kids out of the war! (Like create a social class of permanent military and get THEM to volunteer to die in our Forever Wars!) Finally, if things DO go bad, we provide some helpful tips from The Boomers to get out of being drafted! (Thank the Boomers, kids!)

Our Sponsor this week is Gord Trembaly Deputy Minister of Apologies, the Government of Canada with a message to future Draft Dodgers. We open this week with an American Icon getting a letter from the President and close with Robin Irene singing a little ditty to help you get out of your duty with the Draft Board!

Show Theme: https://www.jamendo.com/track/421668/prelude-to-common-sense

The Show on Twitter: https://twitter.com/TheHell_Podcast

The Show on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/whatthehellpodcast/

The Show on Soundcloud https://soundcloud.com/david-bledsoe-4

www.whatthehellpodcast.com

Give us your money on Patreon https://www.patreon.com/Whatthehellpodcast

The Show Line: 347 687 9601

Closing Music: https://youtu.be/8HEYegwY4NI

Citations Needed:

The Effective Use of Colonial Militia

https://userpages.umbc.edu/~jamie/html/effective_use_of_colonial_mili.html

A Common American Soldier

https://www.history.org/foundation/journal/autumn04/soldier.cfm

Twenty-Slave Law

https://www.encyclopediavirginia.org/twenty-slave_law#start_entry

1001 Ways to Beat the Draft (VERY DATED AND NOT AT ALL WOKE CONTENT!)

https://babel.hathitrust.org/cgi/pt?id=miua.2917616.0001.001&view=1up&seq=3

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Show Notes Episode 243: “Got Himself In A Little Jam Way Over Yonder In Iran”

This week Host Dave Bledsoe scraps a show script at the last minute to write about another damn war. Again. On the show this week we talk the doings in Persian Gulf and what they all could mean. (Nothing good, I’ll tell you that!)

Along the way we learn who we killed, why we killed them and what will happen now that we killed them. We talk a little about history, a lot about the possible future and how fucking stupid this all is. (And it is fucking stupid.) Then we proffer a simple if dramatic solution to ALL of our problems. (We don’t want to give it away, but it involves who to vote for this Fall.)

Our Sponsor this week is World War Three, it’s been with us all along! We open with CNN coverage and close with a little ditty about the futility of war.

Show Theme: https://www.jamendo.com/track/421668/prelude-to-common-sense

The Show on Twitter: https://twitter.com/TheHell_Podcast

The Show on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/whatthehellpodcast/

The Show on Soundcloud https://soundcloud.com/david-bledsoe-4

www.whatthehellpodcast.com

Give us your money on Patreon https://www.patreon.com/Whatthehellpodcast

The Show Line: 347 687 9601

Closing Music: https://youtu.be/RMxT_Fbd1mE

Citations Needed:

https://www.npr.org/2020/01/01/792832307/iran-is-accused-of-being-behind-attack-at-u-s-embassy-in-iraq

https://www.nytimes.com/2020/01/02/world/middleeast/qassem-soleimani-iraq-iran-attack.html

https://www.cnn.com/2020/01/03/asia/soleimani-profile-intl-hnk/index.html

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Show Notes Episode 242: “The Decade of the Dumb”

This week Host Dave Bledsoe forces the copywriter who does the Show Notes for each episode to come in between Christmas and New Years to write some stupid shit for his dumb show even when he said “I promise, there won’t be ANY more shows this year.” (He lied, he always lies)

On the show this week we talk about the 2010s and how they ruined the country by making everyone dumber. (So dumb they lie about recording a show when they said they wouldn’t) Along the way Dave talks about some dumb shit that happened when he was young, then makes some obscene metaphors and finally shouts drunkenly about whatever he is pissed about.

That’s it, listen or not, I am charging double for these. Think I’m mad? Wait until the social media person finds out they have to work too. She scares me.

Our Sponsor is Bullshit, like the kind of bullshit in bringing in the copywriter for an “emergency” podcast. We with something and close with something else. Fuck this job, I quit.

Show Theme: https://www.jamendo.com/track/421668/prelude-to-common-sense

The Show on Twitter: https://twitter.com/TheHell_Podcast

The Show on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/whatthehellpodcast/

The Show on Soundcloud https://soundcloud.com/david-bledsoe-4

www.whatthehellpodcast.com

Give us your money on Patreon https://www.patreon.com/Whatthehellpodcast

The Show Line: 347 687 9601

Closing Music: https://youtu.be/SgXPeH9FSoQ

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Show Notes Episode 241: Two Little Men in a Flying Saucer

This week Host Dave Bledsoe will take some time off to be with the people he loves most in the world, the other drunks at his favorite Dive Bar. (I luff youth guyths) On the show this week we look at the most important story of 2019. (It’s not the one you think it is.)

Along the way we talk about all the stories bringing us to The Disclosure that transpired over the past year. (Spielberg is IN ON IT!) We divulge secrets THEY don’t want you to know about! (Including how to end Static Cling FOREVER!) Then we take a trip to the patent office to see what Google has coming up for us in the near future. (Hint: Advertisements, lots and lots of advertisements!) Finally, we present you with our working theory on why no one is talking about all the weird shit that went on this year with this alien stuff. (It involves a guy we met a fancy dress party who said he was outer space. He showed us his spaceship!)

Our Sponsor this week is Nilfar’s Starship Repair, specializing in all the major Alien and Interdimensional technologies common in the Sol System. We open our show with some friendly aliens and close with Ella singing about interstellar tourism.

Show Theme: https://www.jamendo.com/track/421668/prelude-to-common-sense

The Show on Twitter: https://twitter.com/TheHell_Podcast

The Show on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/whatthehellpodcast/

The Show on Soundcloud https://soundcloud.com/david-bledsoe-4

www.whatthehellpodcast.com

Give us your money on Patreon https://www.patreon.com/Whatthehellpodcast

The Show Line: 347 687 9601

Closing Music: https://youtu.be/GWaUACHYhx8

Citations Needed:

That Time the U.S. Navy Had a Close Encounter With a UFO

https://www.popularmechanics.com/military/a14456936/that-time-the-us-navy-had-a-close-encounter-with-a-ufo/

‘Wow, What Is That?’ Navy Pilots Report Unexplained Flying Objects

https://www.nytimes.com/2019/05/26/us/politics/ufo-sightings-navy-pilots.html

Navy confirms videos did capture UFO sightings, but it calls them by another name

https://www.nbcnews.com/news/us-news/navy-confirms-videos-did-capture-ufo-sightings-it-calls-them-n1056201

The Witnesses

https://www.popularmechanics.com/military/research/a29771548/navy-ufo-witnesses-tell-truth/

Navy Pilot Who Filmed the ‘Tic Tac’ UFO Speaks: ‘It Wasn’t Behaving by the Normal Laws of Physics’

http://nymag.com/intelligencer/2019/12/tic-tac-ufo-video-q-and-a-with-navy-pilot-chad-underwood.html

Craft using an inertial mass reduction device

https://patents.google.com/patent/US10144532B2/en

Docs Show Navy Got 'UFO' Patent Granted By Warning Of Similar Chinese Tech Advances

https://www.thedrive.com/the-war-zone/28729/docs-show-navy-got-ufo-patent-granted-by-warning-of-similar-chinese-tech-advances

Is Anti-Gravity Real? Science Is About To Find Out

https://www.forbes.com/sites/startswithabang/2018/10/26/is-anti-gravity-real-science-is-about-to-find-out/#e089c3549a79

The Law of Accelerating Returns

https://www.kurzweilai.net/the-law-of-accelerating-returns

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Show Notes: Episode 240 “Dave Saves Christmas”

This week Host Dave Bledsoe declares that HE is Father Christmas and this bar is on The Naughty List for wanting him to pay the bartab. (It didn’t work.) On the show this week we look at the Dark Side of Christmas, and we don’t mean WalMart just before closing on Christmas Eve.

Along the way we go back to the beginning of Christmas with the Massacre of the Innocents which wasn’t a massacre because A) It never happened and B) No one is TRULY innocent. (You know what you did!) Then we take you on a terrifying trip through some of the more horrifying moments on Christmases Past! We meet Klanta Klaus, who wants you to have a VERY WHITE Christmas,we grab a drink at the worst office holiday party ever, eat Christmas Dinner with the Lawsons and finally enjoy a nice Christmas on the beach! (This entire episode made us queasy during production!) Finally, we spill the beans on who REALLY killed Jon Benet Ramsey. (NO! WE ABSOLUTELY DO NOT!)

Our Sponsor this week is The Toy of the Year, teaching kids parents are fallible for over fifty years! We open the show with a visit from Santa and close with a heartwarming Christmas Classic!

Show Theme: https://www.jamendo.com/track/421668/prelude-to-common-sense

The Show on Twitter: https://twitter.com/TheHell_Podcast

The Show on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/whatthehellpodcast/

The Show on Soundcloud https://soundcloud.com/david-bledsoe-4

www.whatthehellpodcast.com

Give us your money on Patreon https://www.patreon.com/Whatthehellpodcast

The Show Line: 347 687 9601

Closing Music: https://youtu.be/E8gmARGvPlI

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Episode 239: Weekend At Bernies

This week is not a regular show. I am recording it ahead to time and scheduling it go up as I am attending services for a friend who recently took his life. There are still jokes, not great ones, but when are there? It’s OK if you skip this show, you don’t know my friend, and outside of the character I play on the podcast (you do KNOW it’s a character right? No one could drink as much I say I do and survive. At least not know...20 years ago...) you may not know me. So, no shame in not listening.

However, if for some crazy reason you come across this show and are thinking of harming yourself, please tell someone, anyone and convene your own little ad hoc council before you make any long term decisions. There is even a hotline, kind of like the Butterball Hotline, but for helping you not hurt the people you love AND yourself. Call the National Suicide Prevention Hotline at 1-800-273-8255. Shit, call the Butterball Hotline, call ANYONE, and TELL THEM FIRST!

Because you are not a cruel person.

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Show Notes Episode 238: Family Traditions

This week Host Dave Bledsoe looks back on the roads not taken, only find his Uber home from the bar has dropped him off in Newark. Again. (Not every black car is an Uber, Dave!) On the show this week, we talk Childless by Choice for a better Holiday Season!

Along the way we learn a lot about Dave’s bad choices throughout the years that brought him to such a sad fate, and want all the women who helped to know: they made the right choice! (You have no idea how lucky you are!) We also get to see the different versions of Dave had he NOT been such a perpetual child himself. Finally, we get down to business talking about how the choice not to have children is both a good thing and a bad thing. (Good, no dirty diapers. Bad: The Pope has condemned you to Hell.) This week’s show is a real navel gazer for Dave, so don’t say you weren’t warned. Also, there is a bit about Flugelhorns for some god awful reason. Dave doesn’t do well with holidays.

Our Sponsor this week is a returning one, The Vasectomy Hut, with a cut one nut get the other nut free Black Friday Deal! Never leave a job half done, use Vasectomy Hut! We open the show with comedian Matt Bellassai with some thoughts on child care and close with Steven Bosco with some thoughts on carry on family traditions.

Show Theme: https://www.jamendo.com/track/421668/prelude-to-common-sense

The Show on Twitter: https://twitter.com/TheHell_Podcast

The Show on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/whatthehellpodcast/

The Show on Soundcloud https://soundcloud.com/david-bledsoe-4

www.whatthehellpodcast.com

Give us your money on Patreon https://www.patreon.com/Whatthehellpodcast

The Show Line: 347 687 9601

Closing Music: Steven Bosco

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Episode 237: The Record Company Gonna Give Me Lots of Money

This week Host Dave Bledsoe is not ALL jealous of others good fortune and in fact wishes them all the success in the world, and these tears you see are tears of joy. (The only other time we’ve seen him cry like this was at Last Call) On the show this week we talk about selling out and angry fans. (Not ours, we don’t have any fans, even angry ones)

Along the way we discuss the good fortune of our friends over the Last Podcast Network who just signed an exclusive deal with Spotify. (By friends we mean friends of friends of friends, and in New York City, that counts!) Then we dive deep into the sausage making of creating a financially successful podcast only to discover whatever meat we are putting into the sausage gives people food poisoning. (But you should totally donate to our Patreon!) Then we take a turn through why the Fans thinks they are more important than the people who create the art. (Which you totally are, please donate to our Patreon!) Finally, we explain why U2’s Zooropa was a bad album and that is totally OK! (We would still like a refund from our purchase in 1993, however.)

Our Sponsor this week is Eddify, a new streaming service with exclusive content no one has heard before because it is unlistenable. We open the show with The Beast, Which Will Never Sell Out and close with some Reel Big Fish.

Show Theme: https://www.jamendo.com/track/421668/prelude-to-common-sense

The Show on Twitter: https://twitter.com/TheHell_Podcast

The Show on Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/whatthehellpodcast/

The Show on Soundcloud https://soundcloud.com/david-bledsoe-4

www.whatthehellpodcast.com

Give us your money on Patreon https://www.patreon.com/Whatthehellpodcast

The Show Line: 347 687 9601

Closing Music: https://youtu.be/QL3Rj9IT4Mc

Citations Needed:

'Last Podcast on the Left' Moving Exclusively to Spotify

https://www.hollywoodreporter.com/news/last-podcast-left-moving-exclusively-spotify-1256236

The Rise and Decline of the “Sellout”

https://slate.com/culture/2017/07/the-history-of-calling-artists-sellouts.html

Nirvana: Inside the Heart and Mind of Kurt Cobain

https://www.rollingstone.com/music/music-news/nirvana-inside-the-heart-and-mind-of-kurt-cobain-103770/

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