Reckon True Stories

What's Happening with Men?

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Deesha Philyaw and Kiese Laymon discuss the “manosphere,” — specifically how Black men show up in the space of it, and how Black women respond to it. Deesha talks about a “de-centering of romance” and recognition that women have come to see that their lives are full and beautiful without being partnered with a man who does not listen to or respect them. 

They are interested in the deconstruction of the notions of masculinity, of repair and accountability, and of the homosociality/eroticism of the manosphere, as well as the pulling away of intimacy between cishet men. And they discuss what the work might look like. Therapy, radical change, deconstructing notions of masculinity, and possibly even retiring the terms “masculinity” and “femininity” altogether.

Reading List: Authors, Stories, and Books Mentioned

  • “My Brush with the Black Manosphere” (Nicole Young, Elle 2022)
  • Warsan Shire
  • Act Like A Lady, Think Like A Man (Steve Harvey)
  • bell hooks
  • Audrey Lorde
  • “Men are lost. Here’s a map out of the wilderness.” (Christine Emba, The Washington Post 2023)
  • “How To Be A Better Man Right Now” (Jeff Gordinier, Esquire 2024)


    Listening List:

    • Jokes On You (podcast hosted by Mel Mitchell and Talle)
    • “The disappearance of men” (Christine Emba, YouTube 2024)
    • Instagram Reel by Ari Jai


      • More from Deesha Philyaw and Kiese Laymon: 

      • The Secret Lives of Church Ladies (Deesha Philyaw)
      • Heavy (Kiese Laymon)
      • Long Division (Kiese Laymon)
      • How to Slowly Kill Yourself and Others in America: Essays (Kiese Laymon)
      • Ursa Short Fiction podcast (Deesha Philyaw & Dawnie Walton)


        Produced by Ursa Story Company in partnership with Reckon. 

        Hosted by Deesha Philyaw & Kiese Laymon

        Show Producers: Dawnie Walton & Mark Armstrong

        Associate Producer: Marina Leigh

        Episode Editor: Kelly Araja


        Reckon Editor In Chief: R.L. Nave

        Reckon Deputy Editor: Michelle Zenarosa

        Audience Director: Katie Johnston

        Creative Strategist: Abbey Crain

        Sr. Social Producer: Sid Espinosa

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