Grief Recovery, why?

Unprocessed grief is almost always due to something emotional that has not been communicated.

Therefore, communication is also key.

To heal grief after a painful loss, you therefore need to find out if and what is left unsaid in the relationship, what is it that still takes energy and makes it difficult to move on in life?

There is otherwise a risk of getting caught up in rumination or in overanalyzing the relationship and what happened, and this might continue consciously or unconsciously until the communication is completed. Here, we need to review unspoken thoughts and feelings about the relationship but a common advice we get is just let go and move on but healing grief rarely works that way. 

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Summer series; episode 5

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This is a podcast about grief and loss and how we can find hope. How are we and how can we move forward? 

Even if your life's greatest losses are not caused by death, this is still for you. Today I will talk about myths about grief.

I think we can all recognize: 

-Don't cry, can be perceived as; Don't show that you're sad through a reaction of crying, even though you're sad.

This is easy to say meaning well, but the interpretation is that the actual expression of the emotion is wrong.

From early age, we risk to earn that crying is weak in our society. We can hear someone who is crying being called names already in the playground.

Crying is actually a great tool when it comes to reactions to grief and processing it. When you can let your emotions out, you shouldn't have to hear that it´s wrong, when you're in grief after a painful life change.

In this episode I talk about other myths and examples of what we can say insted.

Welcome to listenand follow.

Thank You, Catharina

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When life gets in the way, we often need to reprioritize time and think about what needs to . Maybe time just goes by without us feeling better.

When we talk about grief linked to time, we may think that we will get over the loss during or after a certain time, but it doesn't work that way. Every grief and loss are individual, thus the need for time also. It is also about what life in general looks like around us.

For my part, it's almost five years since my mother died. The physical grief that hurt my body doesn't hurt in the same painful way anymore, but that doesn't mean that my grief is less, that I've forgotten or that the love isn't as great.

 There are good days and bad days, days we have more energy and days we have less energy, which is also normal. In this episode I talk about how we can support ourselves or others considering time in painful life changes. I also share some tools that helped me when my mother died.

Welcome to listen.

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The value lies in continuing forward, gathering the old pieces and building a new self. Thinking kind thoughts about who I am and who I have become, striving for a place where the air can be breathed again and once again finding a meaning that carries me.

Slowly, with respect for time and the process, I find my way home again. (Lanler 2024)

Sometimes life hits us hard, maybe we have been prepared, maybe not. Our world is being shaken up in a way we did´t think would be possible. Maybe we barely recognize ourselves. We mourn who or what we have lost and in that situation we might lose contact with who we were ourselves before it all happened. This can happen slowly or fast, like stepwise getting lost or like we suddenly fall down a cliff. What we feel is grief of various kinds. It can coexist with worries about how things will be now. 

Welcome to Listen,

Catharina

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" In the silence, it feels like you don't care. I want to share my story, my truth, dare to be vulnerable. I dare to make my cracks, my dreams and my thoughts visible. In the silence, I feel that you think my story and my thoughts are wrong, exaggerated or silly. I am met by a silence that hurts more than words. Your eyes look at your phone when I talk and I realize that you may hear but not listen. I become empty, just like yesterday and the day before yesterday. I don't know what you're thinking or wanting. I needed to understand that you heard me, but you didn't.” (Lanler, 2019)

Maybe someone has told you; You can't feel like that, what you feel and think is completely wrong. Give up, stop, let go. Why are you always saying this?  You always exaggerate things.

You need security, but feel rejected when you are weak or emotional and need confirmation or when you just tell your opinion sometimes. What can this be about? It is about how we are treated when we talk about what we think, feel, think and experience. The very reception of what we say often has greater power than the content of what we say in terms of how it affects our self-esteem and our courage to dare or want to express our feelings and thoughts in the future.

You might feel that you are being told that your experience actually is not true, that it should be different. That you simply feel and experience wrong.

There are several people who tell me that the feeling of being deprived of one's own experience can cause a great loss of sense of self-worth, self-esteem, of being confirmed and count as a person and in the long run actually trust in one's own experience. It is not uncommon to start to distrust yourself and think that you may actually be wrong about what you, yourself perceive as right and true for yourself, or even worse, that you "are" wrong as a person.

Today we are going to dive a little deeper into a type of grief and loss, which might not be common to talk about as a loss or as grief, but which causes great damage, if you don´t realize what it is about and find ways to find your value again, looking beyond the negative effects of the relationship.

Welcome to listen!

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