Boundaries aren’t about being mean — they’re about being clear. This week on Getting Better, JVN sits down with Melissa Urban, founder of Whole30 and a leading voice on boundaries, to talk about how to set limits that actually stick — especially when emotions, history, and guilt get involved.

From defining what a boundary really is (hint: it’s not just what you say, it’s what you do), to navigating boundaries at work, in relationships, and even with yourself, Melissa breaks down the practical steps that make boundaries sustainable instead of exhausting. Together, they dive into when “no contact” is the healthiest option, how to recover after a boundary gets crossed, and why patience — with others and yourself — is a key part of the process.

JVN also shares their own personal experience going no contact, what self-care looks like when you’re holding firm to your limits, and how to get “back on the boundary horse” when things don’t go perfectly the first time.

If you’ve ever struggled with people-pleasing, second-guessing yourself, or holding a boundary without spiraling — this episode is your permission slip to do it differently.

Full Getting Better Video Episodes now available on YouTube. 

Follow Melissa Urban on Instagram @melissau 

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Check out the JVN Patreon for exclusive BTS content, extra interviews, and much much more - check it out here: www.patreon.com/jvn 

Senior Producer, Chris McClure

Producer, Editor & Engineer is Nathanael McClure

Production support: Chad Hall

Our theme music is also composed by Nathanael McClure.

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