Episode #356: Jonathan Crowley shares his experiences as an Assistant Teacher within the Vipassana Meditation Organization of SN Goenka. He participated in a culture that heavily prioritized rules and regulations over open and meaningful discussion about the practice itself. This lack of space for open dialogue, especially about the Dhamma, led Jonathan to feel that the organization was stifling inquiry and critical discourse.  

He was particularly concerned about the Organization's reluctance to engage with the Pali Canon apart from Goenka’s idiosyncratic interpretations, or to address social justice issues, including race and privilege. More broadly, Jonathan felt that this avoidance of critical topics has led to an environment where questioning or expressing any difficulty with the practice is not just discouraged, but seen as a threat to the purity and integrity of the tradition. This culture of non-questioning, according to Jonathan, fosters a sense of cognitive dissonance in many practitioners, as they are expected to accept the teachings without critical engagement.  

Jonathan’s growing discomfort with this environment led him to question his own involvement and sense of belonging. He found it increasingly difficult to reconcile his deep commitment to the practice with an environment that discourages a more holistic and critical engagement with the Dhamma. Despite the profound transformative experiences he had through the practice, the organization’s approach to maintaining its perceived purity ultimately felt too restrictive. He concluded that while the organization's emphasis on tradition and non-questioning was intended to preserve the teachings, it actually hinders open exploration and critical thinking, which are crucial for a deeper understanding and application of the Dhamma in all aspects of life. 

“When you're involved as much as I was, you can't really leave the Organization with dignity,” he says sadly.