When Wagon Wheels Were Bigger

A very specific selection of usually inanimate objects come to life and live together in a house with partially alive features. But don't worry about that, we have some ideas for better TV shows, and you're going to hear all about them in this episode.

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W4B theme composed by John Croudy W4B theme acoustic arrangement by Joe Beckhelling

"Yeeeaaahhhh, RatFans!"

Roland Rat rose to fame on TV-AM, and since then it's become something of a tradition for breakfast TV in the UK to be hosted by vermin.

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W4B theme composed by John Croudy W4B theme acoustic arrangement by Joe Beckhelling

We hope there will "bee" a lot of "buzz" about this episode, as we watch the show with a "sting in its tail." So "beehive" yourself and, uh, "pollen" up a chair to join us. It'll "bee" over in "nectar" to no time.

Bzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz!

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W4B theme composed by John Croudy W4B theme acoustic arrangement by Joe Beckhelling

America, F*CK YEAH! Time for some patriotic jingoistic nonsense as we watch another animated toy advert and talk about toys we did or didn't have for about half an hour.

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W4B theme composed by John Croudy W4B theme acoustic arrangement by Joe Beckhelling

Before now, the worst gameshow prize we've come across was some cooked fish. Enter Busman's Holiday. Who wants to go on a holiday where you just do your normal job but in a different place? These losers.

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W4B theme composed by John Croudy W4B theme acoustic arrangement by Joe Beckhelling

We finish our High-ology with Degrassi High, a boring Canadian school drama about a boring Canadian school. Boring. Let's learn about some more of Mark's school traumas and repressed memories instead.

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W4B theme composed by John Croudy W4B theme acoustic arrangement by Joe Beckhelling

Part two of our High-ology takes us to a world of vampire fonzies, werewolf nerds and undead cheerleaders, being taught by a remarkably unfazed Rick Moranis. Why would you go to school if you were undead?

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W4B theme composed by John Croudy W4B theme acoustic arrangement by Joe Beckhelling

It's part one of the High-ology, which is a real thing, and we kick off with Galaxy High, the high school which is in a galaxy. Like all high schools.

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W4B theme composed by John Croudy W4B theme acoustic arrangement by Joe Beckhelling

Astro Farm combines asteroids and farms in an acceptable order and ratio. Drop a farm on an asteroid, and you get a light-hearted animated series for children to enjoy. Drop an asteroid on a farm, and you get a tragedy.

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W4B theme composed by John Croudy W4B theme acoustic arrangement by Joe Beckhelling

What do you get when you cross Catchphrase with that game where you match pairs of cards? Matchphrase? No, it's Concentration you idiot, although that was a good and clever guess.

Perhaps the only gameshow where a creepy plastic robo-host offered cooked fish as a prize. That'll be niiiiiccce.

TWITTER: @spreadthewhimsy FACEBOOK: facebook.com/whenwagonwheelswerebigger WEBSITE: whenwagonwheelswerebigger.com

W4B theme composed by John Croudy W4B theme acoustic arrangement by Joe Beckhelling