Where's The Lamb Sauce?

From Kitchen Nightmares to a gameshow format that must have been devised in the haze of a fever dream; Gordon goes primetime in his new quizshow for BBC1 and naturally we're here to pick up the pieces. Are there any winners in Studio Ramsay's latest defecation - Gordon Ramsay's Bank Balance? Let's find out. Music by Adam Wiltshire.

We ring in 2021 by mining the precious remaining untapped Kitchen Nightmares material in a suitably bloated and gassy post-Christmas WTLS? special.

And where better to warm our wintery baubles than the southern reaches of the continent, like Gordon did for his Costa Del Nightmares spin-off series?

For more reasons than one, we won’t be dusting off the passport this time though...

Just like Gordon himself, we’re revisiting the scene of the crime in this special recap episode, featuring Ramsay’s best insult, biggest nightmare, worst chef and the #GONALD2024 presidential campaign. Music by Adam Wiltshire.

The knives are out for the WTLS? series finale in Paris. Gordon takes a trip down memory lane where he flexes his French, develops a man crush on a Scottish cowboy and locks horns with his spoiled daughter. Music by Adam Wiltshire. 

Would you pay two grand a year to eat at a restaurant that serves shark and has leather walls? No? What about if the likes of Jordan and Dean Gaffney were regulars? Still no? Well, the locals of The Granary in Hampshire agree with you, and that’s why it is as out of shape as its arrogant owner. Music by Adam Wiltshire.

Is there a more frequently uttered sentence on British shores than "I love a good curry"? Unfortunately, nobody’s quite so complimentary after leaving The Curry Lounge in Nottingham, which looks like a neon lap dancing club, is run by the Asian David Brent and serves food cooked by a suave Bollywood porn star. Music by Adam Wiltshire.

We reach peak Kitchen Nightmares this week as Gordon walks into marital as well as culinary hell. He samples Welsh snot; is confronted by a dirty magician and gives us a genuine contender for Insult of the Series. Elsewhere, we were left gobsmacked by an item in our inbox of unique musical nature. Music by Adam Wiltshire (and Yung Toro).

If there was ever a lost cause, it was The Priory: a convent-turned-carvery that’s literally giving away meals to its expiring clientele. Thankfully, our Gordon knows not a lost cause as he tries to get his hands on a slippery eel of an owner and teach Uncle Fester & fam how to make a salad. Music by Adam Wiltshire.

Gordon’s back in Brighton to woo the locals in a bid to boost his standing in the 2007 Gay Icons List. He’s met by Allan Love, a vertically-challenged luvvy who hates fish - and who happens to run a seafood restaurant. Music by Adam Wiltshire. 

Even Gordon looks a tad pasty in this bronzed, affluent Liverpool suburb, where family-run Morgan’s should be making a killing from the local WAGs, but is more likely to kill with the hazardous flavour combinations on its menu and dysfunctional management. Music by Adam Wiltshire.