Whimsy & Woe

A Brief History of the Baldersquash Medal

Legend has it that, one day in early 1894, Dr. Heinrich Hoffman heard
a knock at his door in Frankfurt, Germany. On his porch he found a
single chicken, holding in its beak what appeared to be a golden coin.
Fifty years earlier, Dr. Hoffman had published his classic book of poetry
Struwwelpeter (or Shock-headed Peter in English).

Two days later, an anonymous letter arrived at the offices of the Boston
Globe, addressed to the editor-in-chief. It announced that Dr. Heinrich
Hoffman was the winner of the inaugural Baldersquash Medal honoring
“the very best in high-falutin nonsense.” German chemists quickly
confirmed that the medal received by Dr. Hoffman from the chicken was
indeed solid gold.

A media frenzy ensued...

Watch on YouTube.

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Tales of Whimsy, Verses of Woe is quite possibly the most dangerous book of poetry ever written. Do you dare? It’s so good it will make you sneeze. 🤧

What becomes of a girl who absolutely detests the color green? What about a king who joins a punk band? And the little boy who calls up God on the telephone? Winner of the prestigious Baldersquash Medal, which honors the very best in highfalutin nonsense. 🏆

Tim DeRoche and Daniel González, author and illustrator of the best-selling Ballad of Huck & Miguel, return with a book of verse that will delight anyone who loves Lemony Snicket or Shel Silverstein.

⭐REVIEW from Kirkus: "Joyous poems. A rare work of pure, unbridled fun."

⭐REVIEW from the American Library Association: "Incredibly funny, periodically poignant, and wonderfully unafraid to challenge readers."

timderoche.com
baldersquash.com
Tim wrote about children's poetry for Literary Hub.
Watch our book trailer on YouTube.
Buy it on Amazon.

The Phone Call

One day after school I came home to see
A note by the phone addressed to me:
“God called this afternoon for you.
Call Him back at 555-4692.”

Hmmm, I thought, this is mighty queer.
He and I haven’t spoken in many a year.
Dialing the number I got kind of nervous,
Half-hoping the line would be out of service...

Watch on YouTube.

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Tales of Whimsy, Verses of Woe is quite possibly the most dangerous book of poetry ever written. Do you dare? It’s so good it will make you sneeze. 🤧

What becomes of a girl who absolutely detests the color green? What about a king who joins a punk band? And the little boy who calls up God on the telephone? Winner of the prestigious Baldersquash Medal, which honors the very best in highfalutin nonsense. 🏆

Tim DeRoche and Daniel González, author and illustrator of the best-selling Ballad of Huck & Miguel, return with a book of verse that will delight anyone who loves Lemony Snicket or Shel Silverstein.

⭐REVIEW from Kirkus: "Joyous poems. A rare work of pure, unbridled fun."

⭐REVIEW from the American Library Association: "Incredibly funny, periodically poignant, and wonderfully unafraid to challenge readers."

timderoche.com
baldersquash.com
Tim wrote about children's poetry for Literary Hub.
Watch our book trailer on YouTube.
Buy it on Amazon.

My Father to Save

“In the end it is you who must stand alone,”
Said the Wizard whose wisdom was widely known.
“Your father—the King—has been brutally slain,
But wallow not in your sorrow and pain.
Instead form a crew of seven men brave.
Lead you they will to the lair of the Beast,
Who made of your father a holiday feast.
For the Beast, make that lair a horrible grave.”
...

Watch on YouTube.

---------------------------------------------------------------

Tales of Whimsy, Verses of Woe is quite possibly the most dangerous book of poetry ever written. Do you dare? It’s so good it will make you sneeze. 🤧

What becomes of a girl who absolutely detests the color green? What about a king who joins a punk band? And the little boy who calls up God on the telephone? Winner of the prestigious Baldersquash Medal, which honors the very best in highfalutin nonsense. 🏆

Tim DeRoche and Daniel González, author and illustrator of the best-selling Ballad of Huck & Miguel, return with a book of verse that will delight anyone who loves Lemony Snicket or Shel Silverstein.

⭐REVIEW from Kirkus: "Joyous poems. A rare work of pure, unbridled fun."

⭐REVIEW from the American Library Association: "Incredibly funny, periodically poignant, and wonderfully unafraid to challenge readers."

timderoche.com
baldersquash.com
Tim wrote about children's poetry for Literary Hub.
Watch our book trailer on YouTube.
Buy it on Amazon.

Bailey O'Bannon

Bailey O’Bannon hated all that was green.
“Of that color I am not so keen,”
She told her parents in a fit of rage,
Using words inappropriate for one of her age.

“I must rid the world of that heinous hue,
For I am partial to red and to blue.”
So off to the local store did she run.
A doubt in her mind? There was none...

Watch on YouTube.

---------------------------------------------------------------

Tales of Whimsy, Verses of Woe is quite possibly the most dangerous book of poetry ever written. Do you dare? It’s so good it will make you sneeze. 🤧

What becomes of a girl who absolutely detests the color green? What about a king who joins a punk band? And the little boy who calls up God on the telephone? Winner of the prestigious Baldersquash Medal, which honors the very best in highfalutin nonsense. 🏆

Tim DeRoche and Daniel González, author and illustrator of the best-selling Ballad of Huck & Miguel, return with a book of verse that will delight anyone who loves Lemony Snicket or Shel Silverstein.

⭐REVIEW from Kirkus: "Joyous poems. A rare work of pure, unbridled fun."

⭐REVIEW from the American Library Association: "Incredibly funny, periodically poignant, and wonderfully unafraid to challenge readers."

timderoche.com
baldersquash.com
Tim wrote about children's poetry for Literary Hub.
Watch our book trailer on YouTube.
Buy it on Amazon.

The Bear in the Boat

The bear in the boat
Couldn’t float.
His body weight
Was too great,
And he started to sink
In a wink...

Watch on YouTube.

----------------------------------------

Tales of Whimsy, Verses of Woe is quite possibly the most dangerous book of poetry ever written. Do you dare? It’s so good it will make you sneeze. 🤧

What becomes of a girl who absolutely detests the color green? What about a king who joins a punk band? And the little boy who calls up God on the telephone? Winner of the prestigious Baldersquash Medal, which honors the very best in highfalutin nonsense. 🏆

Tim DeRoche and Daniel González, author and illustrator of the best-selling Ballad of Huck & Miguel, return with a book of verse that will delight anyone who loves Lemony Snicket or Shel Silverstein.

⭐REVIEW from Kirkus: "Joyous poems. A rare work of pure, unbridled fun."

⭐REVIEW from the American Library Association: "Incredibly funny, periodically poignant, and wonderfully unafraid to challenge readers."

timderoche.com
baldersquash.com
Tim wrote about children's poetry for Literary Hub.
Watch our book trailer on YouTube.
Buy it on Amazon.

Mystery Poem

Oh, when did she do it?
And what did she do?
For whom did she do it?
And which of us knew?

Where did he hide it?
And how was it hid?
From whom did he hide it,
Wherever he did?
...

Watch on YouTube.

----------------------------------------

Tales of Whimsy, Verses of Woe is quite possibly the most dangerous book of poetry ever written. Do you dare? It’s so good it will make you sneeze. 🤧

What becomes of a girl who absolutely detests the color green? What about a king who joins a punk band? And the little boy who calls up God on the telephone? Winner of the prestigious Baldersquash Medal, which honors the very best in highfalutin nonsense. 🏆

Tim DeRoche and Daniel González, author and illustrator of the best-selling Ballad of Huck & Miguel, return with a book of verse that will delight anyone who loves Lemony Snicket or Shel Silverstein.

⭐REVIEW from Kirkus: "Joyous poems. A rare work of pure, unbridled fun."

⭐REVIEW from the American Library Association: "Incredibly funny, periodically poignant, and wonderfully unafraid to challenge readers."

timderoche.com
baldersquash.com
Tim wrote about children's poetry for Literary Hub.
Watch our book trailer on YouTube.
Buy it on Amazon.

Family Rock

My mother drives a hot rod car;
Her Christian name is Millie.
She prefers a Fender for guitar
When she riffs that rockabilly.

Now Daddy is the rhymin’ guy;
We call him Master Pap.
Hip-hop is his chosen game.
Man, can that dude rap!
...

Watch on YouTube.

------------------------------------------------

Tales of Whimsy, Verses of Woe is quite possibly the most dangerous book of poetry ever written. Do you dare? It’s so good it will make you sneeze. 🤧

What becomes of a girl who absolutely detests the color green? What about a king who joins a punk band? And the little boy who calls up God on the telephone? Winner of the prestigious Baldersquash Medal, which honors the very best in highfalutin nonsense. 🏆

Tim DeRoche and Daniel González, author and illustrator of the best-selling Ballad of Huck & Miguel, return with a book of verse that will delight anyone who loves Lemony Snicket or Shel Silverstein.

⭐REVIEW from Kirkus: "Joyous poems. A rare work of pure, unbridled fun."

⭐REVIEW from the American Library Association: "Incredibly funny, periodically poignant, and wonderfully unafraid to challenge readers."

timderoche.com
baldersquash.com
Tim wrote about children's poetry for Literary Hub.
Watch our book trailer on YouTube.
Buy it on Amazon.

The Contraption

Oh, what a contraption! What a machine!
I drop in a legume and out comes a Bean.
In goes a femur and out pops a Bone.
It makes something Bigger after it’s grown.
But the Best thing of all—you’ll surely agree—
Is when I tried the amazing machine on me...

Watch on YouTube.

-------------------------------------------------------------

Tales of Whimsy, Verses of Woe is quite possibly the most dangerous book of poetry ever written. Do you dare? It’s so good it will make you sneeze. 🤧

What becomes of a girl who absolutely detests the color green? What about a king who joins a punk band? And the little boy who calls up God on the telephone? Winner of the prestigious Baldersquash Medal, which honors the very best in highfalutin nonsense. 🏆

Tim DeRoche and Daniel González, author and illustrator of the best-selling Ballad of Huck & Miguel, return with a book of verse that will delight anyone who loves Lemony Snicket or Shel Silverstein.

⭐REVIEW from Kirkus: "Joyous poems. A rare work of pure, unbridled fun."

⭐REVIEW from the American Library Association: "Incredibly funny, periodically poignant, and wonderfully unafraid to challenge readers."

timderoche.com
baldersquash.com
Tim wrote about children's poetry for Literary Hub.
Watch our book trailer on YouTube.
Buy it on Amazon.

Beyond the Gate

At the Gate, there stood a man
Who wore a uniform of gray.
A stack of papers in his hand,
He asked me, “Will you pass this way?”

I replied to him, “Oh, kindly guard,
I do so wish this way to go.
For though the way be long and hard,
What is Beyond I wish to know.”
...

Watch on YouTube.

--------------------------------------------------------

Tales of Whimsy, Verses of Woe is quite possibly the most dangerous book of poetry ever written. Do you dare? It’s so good it will make you sneeze. 🤧

What becomes of a girl who absolutely detests the color green? What about a king who joins a punk band? And the little boy who calls up God on the telephone? Winner of the prestigious Baldersquash Medal, which honors the very best in highfalutin nonsense. 🏆

Tim DeRoche and Daniel González, author and illustrator of the best-selling Ballad of Huck & Miguel, return with a book of verse that will delight anyone who loves Lemony Snicket or Shel Silverstein.

⭐REVIEW from Kirkus: "Joyous poems. A rare work of pure, unbridled fun."

⭐REVIEW from the American Library Association: "Incredibly funny, periodically poignant, and wonderfully unafraid to challenge readers."

timderoche.com
baldersquash.com
Tim wrote about children's poetry for Literary Hub.
Watch our book trailer on YouTube.
Buy it on Amazon.

Not for Naught

Not for naught did I scale the great wall of cheese,
But in vain did I swim the river of peas.
Not for naught have I trained this rabbit of yore,
But in vain has he suffered the rigors of war.
Not for naught was I born with one extra toe...

Watch on YouTube.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

Tales of Whimsy, Verses of Woe is quite possibly the most dangerous book of poetry ever written. Do you dare? It’s so good it will make you sneeze. 🤧

What becomes of a girl who absolutely detests the color green? What about a king who joins a punk band? And the little boy who calls up God on the telephone? Winner of the prestigious Baldersquash Medal, which honors the very best in highfalutin nonsense. 🏆

Tim DeRoche and Daniel González, author and illustrator of the best-selling Ballad of Huck & Miguel, return with a book of verse that will delight anyone who loves Lemony Snicket or Shel Silverstein.

⭐REVIEW from Kirkus: "Joyous poems. A rare work of pure, unbridled fun."

⭐REVIEW from the American Library Association: "Incredibly funny, periodically poignant, and wonderfully unafraid to challenge readers."

timderoche.com
baldersquash.com
Tim wrote about children's poetry for Literary Hub.
Watch our book trailer on YouTube.
Buy it on Amazon.