Whimsy & Woe

A Good Morning

Each morning I wake up a bit too grumpy,
Because a pillow filled with gravel is too bumpy.
And my bathroom faucet cannot make me clean,
Since it only brings me lukewarm gasoline.
I brush my teeth with superglue,
And wash my face—oh yes I do—
With leftover soup I find in the trash
(Which leaves my skin with a nasty rash).

So if you see me on the way to school
And you think I look like an ornery mule...

Watch on YouTube.

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Tales of Whimsy, Verses of Woe is quite possibly the most dangerous book of poetry ever written. Do you dare? It’s so good it will make you sneeze. 🤧

What becomes of a girl who absolutely detests the color green? What about a king who joins a punk band? And the little boy who calls up God on the telephone? Winner of the prestigious Baldersquash Medal, which honors the very best in highfalutin nonsense. 🏆

Tim DeRoche and Daniel González, author and illustrator of the best-selling Ballad of Huck & Miguel, return with a book of verse that will delight anyone who loves Lemony Snicket or Shel Silverstein.

⭐REVIEW from Kirkus: "Joyous poems. A rare work of pure, unbridled fun."

⭐REVIEW from the American Library Association: "Incredibly funny, periodically poignant, and wonderfully unafraid to challenge readers."

timderoche.com
baldersquash.com
Tim wrote about children's poetry for Literary Hub.
Watch our book trailer on YouTube.
Buy it on Amazon.

The Beast in the Cave

The beast in the cave
Didn’t shave.
His beard grew in size
Up o’er his eyes,
And his whiskers grew down
To the ground.
He cried, “Woe is me …
I can’t see!”
On a stone he did trip
And he tipped...

Watch on YouTube.

------------------------------------------------

Tales of Whimsy, Verses of Woe is quite possibly the most dangerous book of poetry ever written. Do you dare? It’s so good it will make you sneeze. 🤧

What becomes of a girl who absolutely detests the color green? What about a king who joins a punk band? And the little boy who calls up God on the telephone? Winner of the prestigious Baldersquash Medal, which honors the very best in highfalutin nonsense. 🏆

Tim DeRoche and Daniel González, author and illustrator of the best-selling Ballad of Huck & Miguel, return with a book of verse that will delight anyone who loves Lemony Snicket or Shel Silverstein.

⭐REVIEW from Kirkus: "Joyous poems. A rare work of pure, unbridled fun."

⭐REVIEW from the American Library Association: "Incredibly funny, periodically poignant, and wonderfully unafraid to challenge readers."

timderoche.com
baldersquash.com
Tim wrote about children's poetry for Literary Hub.
Watch our book trailer on YouTube.
Buy it on Amazon.

The Story of Salmon Delicious

There was never a fish so ambitious
As the one they called Salmon Delicious.
“If I must be eaten,” he told a friend,
“In the mouth of the King will I meet my end.”

So Salmon swam all around on the look
For a royal worm on a golden hook...


Watch on YouTube.

----------------------------------------------------

Tales of Whimsy, Verses of Woe is quite possibly the most dangerous book of poetry ever written. Do you dare? It’s so good it will make you sneeze. 🤧

What becomes of a girl who absolutely detests the color green? What about a king who joins a punk band? And the little boy who calls up God on the telephone? Winner of the prestigious Baldersquash Medal, which honors the very best in highfalutin nonsense. 🏆

Tim DeRoche and Daniel González, author and illustrator of the best-selling Ballad of Huck & Miguel, return with a book of verse that will delight anyone who loves Lemony Snicket or Shel Silverstein.

⭐REVIEW from Kirkus: "Joyous poems. A rare work of pure, unbridled fun."

⭐REVIEW from the American Library Association: "Incredibly funny, periodically poignant, and wonderfully unafraid to challenge readers."

timderoche.com
baldersquash.com
Tim wrote about children's poetry for Literary Hub.
Watch our book trailer on YouTube.
Buy it on Amazon.

The Boy on the Hill

The boy on the hill
Grew a gill.
“Why, that is absurd!”
Said the bird.
“Of use might it be
In the sea,
But you haven’t a prayer
In the air.”
So the boy with the gill
Left his hill...

Watch on YouTube.

---------------------------------------

Tales of Whimsy, Verses of Woe is quite possibly the most dangerous book of poetry ever written. Do you dare? It’s so good it will make you sneeze. 🤧

What becomes of a girl who absolutely detests the color green? What about a king who joins a punk band? And the little boy who calls up God on the telephone? Winner of the prestigious Baldersquash Medal, which honors the very best in highfalutin nonsense. 🏆

Tim DeRoche and Daniel González, author and illustrator of the best-selling Ballad of Huck & Miguel, return with a book of verse that will delight anyone who loves Lemony Snicket or Shel Silverstein.

⭐REVIEW from Kirkus: "Joyous poems. A rare work of pure, unbridled fun."

⭐REVIEW from the American Library Association: "Incredibly funny, periodically poignant, and wonderfully unafraid to challenge readers."

timderoche.com
baldersquash.com
Tim wrote about children's poetry for Literary Hub.
Watch our book trailer on YouTube.
Buy it on Amazon.

Sleep Through the Night

“Sleep through the night
Without fright!”
I yelled heartily
Out of glee
To the townspeople all
In the hall.
“The Monster of Dread
Is now dead;
And Sir Lancelot slew
The Goblin of Rue.
So raise up your voice..."

Watch on YouTube.

---------------------------------------------------

Tales of Whimsy, Verses of Woe is quite possibly the most dangerous book of poetry ever written. Do you dare? It’s so good it will make you sneeze. 🤧

What becomes of a girl who absolutely detests the color green? What about a king who joins a punk band? And the little boy who calls up God on the telephone? Winner of the prestigious Baldersquash Medal, which honors the very best in highfalutin nonsense. 🏆

Tim DeRoche and Daniel González, author and illustrator of the best-selling Ballad of Huck & Miguel, return with a book of verse that will delight anyone who loves Lemony Snicket or Shel Silverstein.

⭐REVIEW from Kirkus: "Joyous poems. A rare work of pure, unbridled fun."

⭐REVIEW from the American Library Association: "Incredibly funny, periodically poignant, and wonderfully unafraid to challenge readers."

timderoche.com
baldersquash.com
Tim wrote about children's poetry for Literary Hub.
Watch our book trailer on YouTube.
Buy it on Amazon.

Miles and Leagues

Miles and leagues and more miles did I run,
Each day trying vainly to outrace the sun.
Flying west through the day, that star never ceased
To disappear nightly, then rise in the east.
“Oh, why do you flee me?” I cried to the sky,
But that arrogant orb made not a reply.
“Perhaps I can help,” came a voice from behind.
“Hear me, my friend, I was once of your kind..."

Watch on YouTube.

--------------------------------------------------------------

Tales of Whimsy, Verses of Woe is quite possibly the most dangerous book of poetry ever written. Do you dare? It’s so good it will make you sneeze. 🤧

What becomes of a girl who absolutely detests the color green? What about a king who joins a punk band? And the little boy who calls up God on the telephone? Winner of the prestigious Baldersquash Medal, which honors the very best in highfalutin nonsense. 🏆

Tim DeRoche and Daniel González, author and illustrator of the best-selling Ballad of Huck & Miguel, return with a book of verse that will delight anyone who loves Lemony Snicket or Shel Silverstein.

⭐REVIEW from Kirkus: "Joyous poems. A rare work of pure, unbridled fun."

⭐REVIEW from the American Library Association: "Incredibly funny, periodically poignant, and wonderfully unafraid to challenge readers."

timderoche.com
baldersquash.com
Tim wrote about children's poetry for Literary Hub.
Watch our book trailer on YouTube.
Buy it on Amazon.

Carrot Talk

Mr. Banana, a sensitive fellow,
Took offense when the Carrot called him yellow.
Mr. Spinach thought the Carrot mean,
When the Carrot called him “young and green.”
But Miss Pepper was insulted not,
When the Carrot remarked...

https://youtu.be/58SLQdom688?si=9TmTYTribZfsu6bK

---------------------------------------------------------------

Tales of Whimsy, Verses of Woe is quite possibly the most dangerous book of poetry ever written. Do you dare? It’s so good it will make you sneeze. 🤧

What becomes of a girl who absolutely detests the color green? What about a king who joins a punk band? And the little boy who calls up God on the telephone? Winner of the prestigious Baldersquash Medal, which honors the very best in highfalutin nonsense. 🏆

Tim DeRoche and Daniel González, author and illustrator of the best-selling Ballad of Huck & Miguel, return with a book of verse that will delight anyone who loves Lemony Snicket or Shel Silverstein.

⭐REVIEW from Kirkus: "Joyous poems. A rare work of pure, unbridled fun."

⭐REVIEW from the American Library Association: "Incredibly funny, periodically poignant, and wonderfully unafraid to challenge readers."

timderoche.com
baldersquash.com
Tim wrote about children's poetry for Literary Hub.
Watch our book trailer on YouTube.
Buy it on Amazon.

The King of the Land

The King of the Land
Had a band.
They practiced their punk,
But they stunk.
“That noise is too loud!”
Cried the crowd.
And so...

https://youtu.be/qLfNbXYggY0?si=Awn2Paa4SYE-uDzV

-----------------------------------------------------------------

Tales of Whimsy, Verses of Woe is quite possibly the most dangerous book of poetry ever written. Do you dare? It’s so good it will make you sneeze. 🤧

What becomes of a girl who absolutely detests the color green? What about a king who joins a punk band? And the little boy who calls up God on the telephone? Winner of the prestigious Baldersquash Medal, which honors the very best in highfalutin nonsense. 🏆

Tim DeRoche and Daniel González, author and illustrator of the best-selling Ballad of Huck & Miguel, return with a book of verse that will delight anyone who loves Lemony Snicket or Shel Silverstein.

⭐REVIEW from Kirkus: "Joyous poems. A rare work of pure, unbridled fun."

⭐REVIEW from the American Library Association: "Incredibly funny, periodically poignant, and wonderfully unafraid to challenge readers."

timderoche.com
baldersquash.com
Tim wrote about children's poetry for Literary Hub.
Watch our book trailer on YouTube.
Buy it on Amazon.

Mary Melissa Miranda McGurk

Mary Melissa Miranda McGurk
Was uncommonly fond of homework.
Nothing whatever could bring her more glee
Than mapping out battles from French history.
After each spelling test, she’d ask, “When’s the next?”
Before jumping into some dusty old text.
And the easiest way to incur Mary’s wrath?
Just switch on TV while she worked at her math.

Soon Mary noticed that to study and figure
Only made her head grow thicker and bigger...

https://youtu.be/RNT6h32uRAU?si=uFgTohndpIxdRYZI

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

Tales of Whimsy, Verses of Woe is quite possibly the most dangerous book of poetry ever written. Do you dare? It’s so good it will make you sneeze. 🤧

What becomes of a girl who absolutely detests the color green? What about a king who joins a punk band? And the little boy who calls up God on the telephone? Winner of the prestigious Baldersquash Medal, which honors the very best in highfalutin nonsense. 🏆

Tim DeRoche and Daniel González, author and illustrator of the best-selling Ballad of Huck & Miguel, return with a book of verse that will delight anyone who loves Lemony Snicket or Shel Silverstein.

⭐REVIEW from Kirkus: "Joyous poems. A rare work of pure, unbridled fun."

⭐REVIEW from the American Library Association: "Incredibly funny, periodically poignant, and wonderfully unafraid to challenge readers."

timderoche.com
baldersquash.com
Tim wrote about children's poetry for Literary Hub.
Watch our book trailer on YouTube.
Buy it on Amazon.