READ: MATTHEW 11:28-30; ROMANS 3:23-24; GALATIANS 2:11-21

Youth group camp had just finished, and as we all settled in with pillows for the long bus ride home, my friend (who I’ll call Samantha) solemnly shared a tidbit from her college-age counselor (who I’ll call Brynn): “Brynn told me she’d never written ‘I love so-and-so’ about any boy. Brynn also said she’d never worn a two-piece bathing suit.” I could see how the counselor’s words impressed Samantha, and how much she felt this was a standard Brynn had set. Samantha left camp believing she needed to follow Brynn’s example to walk God’s path for her own life.

Hearing this, I felt uneasy, as if I didn’t measure up in a way I’d only just learned about. I had doodled “I love so-and-so” about crushes on my notebooks. And I remembered wearing a bikini swimsuit as a little girl. I couldn’t shake the feeling I’d somehow blown it, although I longed to stay close to God and I wasn’t even sure I needed to confess those acts as sins. Had those choices made me less holy? Or less holy than Brynn?

Of course not! Over time, God showed me a deeper truth about holiness. When we put our trust in Jesus, we are believing He paid for our sins because He laid down His perfect, sinless life and then rose again after death. We are acknowledging we need Jesus to accomplish what we can’t do for ourselves: provide us with purity before God. Once we’ve trusted in Him, we’re set free from trying to obtain holiness by good deeds—which we couldn’t do anyway. While God’s Word guides us in establishing biblical convictions about dating, dressing, and other details, nothing we achieve—or avoid—changes our holiness. That can be found only in Jesus. • Allison Wilson Lee

• Do you feel you’ve fallen short of God’s standards? God doesn’t want us to be weighed down by guilt and shame. And He doesn’t want us to strive for holiness out of pride or fear. Instead, He calls us to rest in the holiness of Jesus and learn from Him (Matthew 11:28-30; Hebrews 10:14). Through His Spirit, His Word, and His people, God helps us discern right and wrong so we can confess and turn away from sin in our lives, and so we can be free from rules and obligations that aren’t from Him (Matthew 5:27-28; Colossians 2:8-23; 1 John 1:9). Consider taking some time to talk to Jesus. You can bring Him your questions and frustrations and hurts, confess any sins that come to mind, and ask Him to remind you that He loves you, has forgiven you, and is always with you.

Yet now he has reconciled you to himself through the death of Christ in his physical body. As a result, he has brought you into his own presence, and you are holy and blameless as you stand before him without a single fault. Colossians 1:22 (NLT)