Have you ever wondered "Am I the a-hole" in this situation? Or watered-down a message, or even muted yourself, fearing being perceived as an a-hole? Accountability and self-reflection are important, but standing firm in one's convictions is equally important, depending on the scenario, and depending on the audience. Communication, connection. or mere civil discourse doesn't necessarily mean mutual agreement, and that's ok.  A person can give you their interpretation of you, and it's in your power to take it or not. A clear message delivered with composure and empathy is what you control, while another person's reception of it isn't under your control. You can be like teflon, and deflect weaponized labels and insults hurled your way, with a strong centered Self, because you are enough, just as you are.