Why Didn’t They Tell Us? Self-Confidence Coaching For Teen Girls

“So many women struggle to create balance. Is that you?” If your answer is “yes,” Leslie is here to help. There’s no such thing as finding balance–you must create it, and on this solo episode of Why Didn’t They Tell Us?, Leslie has provided some confidence cultivator thought starters, a series of questions and time audits to determine what your priorities are and how to best utilize your time and energy so that both your needs and your desires are met. 

It’s so important that you approach each question honestly and without judgment. Society’s “shoulds” have no place in this process. Whatever your priorities are–whether it’s your social life or creating more of a work-life balance–be honest and honor them.

Balance and calm go hand in hand. You can’t have one without the other. With Leslie’s help you are well on your way to creating more of both in your daily life. 

Quotes

• “Chances are, if you’re going and going and giving and giving, there’s very little left for you when it’s all said and done. And let’s be honest, it never feels done, because it all starts over the next day.” (3:02 | Leslie)

Six Steps to Help Your Teen Cultivate Confidence: https://www.confidencecoachforgirls.com/

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“I’ve got the promise of new possibilities pumping through me!” announces Leslie as she kicks off the New Year with a new episode and a self-confidence cheat sheet for you to cultivate more confidence in the year ahead. While the concept of more self-confidence feels like a reach for some, Leslie explains that it is available to anyone who is willing to make one simple change. And that change is not what you might think as the messaging about goals and “New Year, New You” floods our feeds and collective conversations. 

All you have to do is to change the way you think about yourself. Not just happy thoughts, but deliberate thoughts that focus on your unique strengths and gifts only you can offer the world. 

Too often, we suffer from what Leslie has coined “as soon as” syndrome. We think that as soon as we get that job, that dream partner, that promotion, then we have permission to feel good about ourselves. But actually, it’s the opposite. The more we believe in ourselves, the more that version of ourselves shows up in the world, along with the self-worth that comes with it.

Setting goals is a good thing. But you don’t have to wait to achieve them to become the best version of yourself. That change lies in the power of your thoughts, and you can change your thinking at this very moment!

Quotes:

• “As we start a new year, I want to offer you an approach that, when put into practice, allows you to create that potential and promise that perhaps you’re yearning for in the new year.” (3:25 | Leslie)

Confidence Cultivator Cheat Sheet: https://wondrous-leader-9073.ck.page/13bd931567

Six Steps to Help Your Teen Cultivate Confidence: https://www.confidencecoachforgirls.com/

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“Your feelings drive what you do–and don’t do–in this one and only life of yours,” says Leslie in this second installment of the Goal Setting Made Simple series. Today, we are talking about “emotional fuel,” or the feeling needed to make your dream, resolution or goal a reality. It’s a cyclical process: positive feelings make you more likely to do the work involved to achieve your goal, and completing that work gives your feelings of pride and achievement which then fuel you to do more work. Those positive emotions also make the journey to achieving the goal far more enjoyable. 

Today, Leslie shares her “greatest hit list” of top 5 feelings for goal getting. Any number of distractions, comforts and temptations threaten to sabotage our goals at any moment, and these five feelings will keep you motivated and prevent you from feeling overwhelmed as you make your goal a reality. 

Achieving your goals isn’t easy. In fact, only nine to 20 percent of people keep their New Year’s Resolutions. Leslie’s here to help you beat those odds as well as share with you what is kryptonite to success, what separates quitters from conquerors and the important distinction between confidence and self-confidence. 

Quotes

• “Any goal is simply the result of taking action–likely a lot of action. Few goals are a one-and-done situation. They typically require consistency and repetition.” (2:54 | Leslie) 

Connect With Leslie:

Book a Call with Leslie: https://calendly.com/lesliethelifecoach/self-confidence-consult

Six Steps to Help Your Teen Cultivate Confidence: https://www.confidencecoachforgirls.com/

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“It’s the season of goal setting and goal getting!” As we move into a new year, Leslie’s gift to you is a series of actionable steps that will help you achieve your goals. The first step is starting. Too often people wait until everything is perfect before beginning whatever it is that they want to do. Of course, nothing is or ever will be perfect. Making mistakes and feeling silly are all part of the process, it’s also how you figure out solutions–and there is a solution to everything. You have to be willing to take perfectly imperfect action, feel the fear and do it anyway. 

When Leslie first launched this podcast–one year ago!--she had all the same fears and feelings. She learned how to turn down the volume on her bully brain and amplify the voice of her bestie brain, using techniques she shares here today. She’ll teach you how to build your self-confidence, and provide yourself with the fuel to keep going by taking stock of your achievements along the way.

Today’s episode marks the one-year anniversary of Why Didn’t They Tell Us. By joining today’s conversation and following Leslie’s advice, you’ll soon be on your own journey toward achieving your goals. 

Quotes

• “When you want to go after a goal, chase a dream, create the life of your dreams, you have to start. It seems so simple, but I have to say it. You have to go, you have to take that first terrifying step. You can always change directions if you find yourself going in the wrong direction.” (5:29 | Leslie) 

Sign-up for Mindset, Meditation, & Metabolism: https://www.leasure-life.com/give-yourself-the-gift

Book a Call with Leslie: https://calendly.com/lesliethelifecoach/self-confidence-consult

Six Steps to Help Your Teen Cultivate Confidence: https://www.confidencecoachforgirls.com/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/the_coach_chronicles/

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“It’s a holistic experience, not a fleeting moment. It’s a practice,” says Jill Rivkin. Ahead of her 40th birthday, Jill decided to participate in a challenge. For 40 days she wrote down everything she was grateful for, down to the way her son belly laughed while playing with his Legos, and shared it on social media. These popular posts evolved into the blog Grateful Girl, which eventually led to her co-founding Gratitude Generation, a nonprofit organization committed to inspiring gratitude in future generations through service and education. Though she’s a “glass half full” person by nature, Jill insists that we can all rewire our brains to adopt a gratitude mindset, even as life becomes more complicated and the world an increasingly scary place. 

When we act with gratitude, everyone wins. Jill discusses the ripple effect that Gratitude Generation has created throughout her community as well as the benefits gratitude provides to our physical health. For teens who are self-absorbed by nature, the practice cultivates an awareness of the world around them, and helps to build their self-confidence. 

It's a practice that anyone–no matter what they are going through or what lifestyle they lead—can begin incorporating into their daily habits. Join Jill and Leslie as they discuss their own teenagers’ experience with Gratitude Generation and the major difference between gratitude and happiness. 

• “I see the world for what it offers me, I see people for what they give me. My mom once told me it was a beautiful trait I have for loving everybody in my world for what they can give me and not judging them for what they can’t.” (6:46 | Jill)

Learn more about Gratitude Generation: https://www.gratitudegeneration.org/

Six Steps to Help Your Teen Cultivate Confidence: https://www.confidencecoachforgirls.com/

Book a Confidence Cultivator Call with Leslie: https://calendly.com/lesliethelifecoach/self-confidence-consult?month=2023-11

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/the_coach_chronicles/

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With so much going wrong in the world today, it’s no wonder we’re all so stressed, both mentally and physically. Worse, our coping mechanisms–endless scrolling, complaining to each other and compiling our fears, emotionally spiraling–do nothing to alleviate the problem. In fact, they only create more problems. On today’s episode, Leslie offers a better solution, one that’s free and accessible to all of us at this very moment– positive thinking. 

It should be said up front: this is not an escape from negative emotions. It is a deliberate practice which requires that you channel your emotional energy with intention. As Leslie always says, it’s a privilege to feel all emotions. This process is about shifting focus, empowering yourself with coping skills and reaping the benefits that follow like pain relief, resistance to illness and reduced risk from death and prolonged life. 

You deserve to feel happy and hopeful and, as a result, do good works for others in return. After all, positive energy is contagious.

Quotes

• “If you are a human living on planet Earth right now, chances are positivity has been a challenge.” (1:56 | Leslie)

Six Steps to Help Your Teen Cultivate Confidence: https://www.confidencecoachforgirls.com/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/the_coach_chronicles/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/CoachChronicles/

Book a FREE Confidence Cultivator Call: https://calendly.com/lesliethelifecoach/self-confidence-consult

Are you unintentionally hindering your teenager's journey to independence? Dr. Leigh Weisz sheds light on a paradox: In our bid to protect our kids, are we actually robbing them of essential life skills? In this episode of Why Didn’t They Tell Us, Dr. Weisz joins the discussion to tell us what we can do as parents of teenagers to ensure they grow into confident and independent adults. So many of today’s parents, despite all of their good intentions, are trying to rescue their kids from feeling any kind of discomfort. From the embarrassment of forgetting to bring their homework to class to the complicated feelings of grief, parents are robbing their kids of the self-sufficiency, problem-solving skills, and emotional resilience required to be healthy and productive adults. Parents need to give their teens the space to fail, be sad, and struggle while learning new skills. This is easier said than done as it requires that parents must endure their own emotional discomfort in the process. 

We live in a world where parents are more overloaded than ever with responsibilities and expectations. Simultaneously, especially for more affluent families, an increasing number of modern conveniences mean it’s faster and easier to never have a teenager have to do anything for themselves. Dr. Weisz explains what parents can do–and stop doing–to give kids more responsibilities and consequences, as well as opportunities to earn rewards for themselves. 

For parents who are bombarded with too much–often conflicting–information about how to raise their kids, Dr. Weisz refreshingly recommends doing (a little) less rather than more. She shares her parenting “greatest hits,” explains why it’s a mistake to give your child a debit card and why getting admitted into the Ivy League means nothing if you can’t do your own laundry.

Quotes

• “One characteristic I think is really important to have is grit. Angela Duckworth coined that term. It's really the ability to persevere through challenges, not to give up right away at the first moment of discomfort or challenge.” (7:38 | Dr. Weisz)

Learn more about Coping Partners: https://copingpartners.com/

Six Steps to Help Your Teen Cultivate Confidence: https://www.confidencecoachforgirls.com/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/CoachChronicles/

"Communication is the core of everything.” Jordyn Scorpio is the Director of Community Education at SHALVA, the oldest independent Jewish domestic abuse agency in the United States. As part of her Seven Circles program, she helps to educate Jewish couples on abuse prevention, which starts with identifying the differences between healthy, unhealthy and abusive relationships, which exist on a spectrum. Healthy relationships include healthy conflict which provide opportunities for both individuals to learn and grow, while at the heart of abuse is a need to assert power and control over someone. This is why listening to your gut instinct–whether you are the one in the relationship, or a concerned loved one—is so important: if something seems weird, it’s weird, says Jordyn. 

Signs of abuse, however subtle, present themselves early and they can get buried under a lot of confusing messaging. It’s easy to be blinded by abusers’ high status or social charm, and it’s true that even abusive relationships can include a lot of love. Jordyn reveals personality traits that abusers commonly exhibit as well as red flags to look out for when anyone starts a new relationship. 

Parents can introduce prevention education to their teenagers, spotting yellow flags and opening up conversations about them. This includes questioning portrayals of love and romance in film as well as appointing a safe adult to confide in.

Quotes

• “Conflict can be really healthy. If there's conflict happening, that means that you're both two independent people with independent lives, opinions and voices. And that breeds conflict sometimes. But that's a beautiful thing to have in a relationship.” (12:12 | Jordyn)

If you are in urgent need of support, SHALVA’s Help/Crisis Line is open 24/7, call 1-773-583-HOPE (4673)

Learn more about SHALVA: www.shalvacares.org 

Follow SHALVA on Facebook & Instagram @shalvachicago

Learn more about Seven Circles: www.sevencirclesjourney.org 

Follow Seven Circles on Facebook & Instagram @sevencircleschicago

Connect With Leslie:

Six Steps to Help Your Teen Cultivate Confidence: https://www.confidencecoachforgirls.com/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/the_coach_chronicles/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/CoachChronicles/

Podcast production and show notes provided by HiveCast.fm

“What's crazy is I've never been happier. I've never felt more alive,” says Leslie’s sister, Laura.  This is a surprising and admirable reaction to the events of the last three years which have included several major health problems, the most recent of which is a breast cancer diagnosis. Laura joins the podcast just before entering her next round of cancer treatment, to share the lessons she has learned and continues to learn from these challenges and how they have shaped her incredibly positive mindset. Starting four years ago, with the help of a life coach, she learned how to reparent her inner child and change the negative image she had carried about herself throughout her life. After all, we can’t control what happens to us but we can control how we respond to it and the meaning we choose to assign to it.

Now in the midst of her cancer journey, Laura chooses gratitude. Gratitude for her supportive husband, for her incredibly understanding boss and co-workers, and for the money to afford medical treatment. The many changes, including to her body, are opportunities for growth and surrender. She discusses the many ways people have reached out in support, including quite literally taking the shirts off of their backs in a show of camaraderie. 

So many people are touched by this disease, and Laura recognizes that there is no one way to deal with it. Still, she offers advice for those going through it and those who want to show support. 

Quotes

• “Without question the last three years of my life have been the best years of my life.” (7:20 | Laura) 

• “Things are always going to happen. We have an opportunity, whether we realize it or not, to assign meaning and value to those data points. And I think most of the time, we don't have a conscious moment of recognition that, okay, I'm making this thing that happened mean something. There's what happened, there's how I feel about it, and then there’s what I assign in terms of value.” (10:29 | Laura)

• “I can control how I want to approach this. I have made a conscious choice to not spend my energy trying to keep things the same. Because that's a waste. Nothing is going to be the same. I can resist the change or I can embrace the change. And, embrace, not just accept, find ways to find joy in the change.” (16:28 | Laura)

• “We are typically so hard on ourselves. And, every time we think something negative or do something that doesn't serve us. It's usually being fueled by or informed by the little girl inside of us who is scared of not getting what she needs.” (19:27 | Laura)

• “That's the lesson learned, that I am so powerful, that I am so resilient that I’m unstoppable. If I can do that, I can do anything.” (24:29 | Laura) 

• “I realized I could control more than just my mindset. I could be very tactical in terms of how I can create comfort and really prepare myself in every way for each step of this process.” (28:47 | Laura)

• “Chances are, they've been touched by this, too. Which means there are so many people who will come out of the woodwork offering guidance and support and recommendations, who are willing to literally take their shirts off.” (36:22 | Laura)

• “Every day was another reminder that I was loved. And that I had support and that people had me in their thoughts and in their prayers. Yeah, it was almost, it was almost overwhelming, to be honest. But it buoys you.” (38:11 | Laura)

Resources: https://www.nationalbreastcancer.org/

Connect With Leslie:

Six Steps to Help Your Teen Cultivate Confidence: https://www.confidencecoachforgirls.com/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/the_coach_chronicles/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/CoachChronicles/

“When we take time to slow down and really tap into our cyclical superpowers,” says Ashlee Sorensen, certified menstrual and hormone coach, “We start to realize that we are divinely created, that we have a purpose. And it looks different for everybody.” Every point in a woman’s monthly cycle heightens different traits and provides different opportunities, including the opportunity for her to retreat inward, introspect and receive what Ashlee calls “divine downloads” which help us better align with who she is and what she wants. The problem is, most of us are “rushing women,” competing in a man’s world, and are encouraged to push through our physical and emotional menstrual symptoms. Yet, by becoming more aware of our own cycles and those of our daughters, we can better communicate with each other, show compassion to each other when we need it, and help lift the stigma and mystery that still exists around menstruation. 

Some women may be in menopause or perimenopause while their daughters are menstruating, another major era in a woman’s life that continues to be shrouded in mystery and shame. Menopause, too, provides opportunities for evolution and rebirth, and for confronting issues that may be leftover from adolescence. Again, fostering awareness of these changes can help mothers parent better by establishing boundaries and taking time out for self.

Everyone’s “cycle strategy” for optimizing their hormones is unique, but Ashlee offers some general tips that can be helpful to all of us, including certain dietary restrictions and avoiding using birth control to manage period symptoms. Join the discussion to find out how to slow down, and tap into your body’s natural window for resetting and growth. 

Quotes

• “When I say it's going to help you find your purpose, it's because really the menstrual cycle is an initiatory process. It has the power to take us from where we are currently and transform us, renew us, every month.” (8:44 | Ashlee)

• “Your hormones literally affect everything and nobody's talking about it. We live in a man's world and we're just expected to function as such. And that's not fair because we're not men. That's why so many women feel overwhelmed and stressed out. And you know, like they aren't enough because we are women trying to survive in a man's world.” (18:51 | Ashlee) 

• “It's not a permission slip to check out on life. It's an opportunity for introspection.” (19:35 | Leslie) 

• “We can start paying attention to our needs, we can start doing the introspection that is needed for personal evolution, and we're not honoring it. And that's what I mean when I say like, oh, that's why so many women feel resentful. Because we're not taking that time to come inward. And there's literally a space designed in the menstrual cycle to allow you to do that.” (20:35 | Ashlee)

• “Perimenopause has been called the second puberty because our body is changing…if things weren't handled, like maybe you've got body image issues or, you know, issues around food, that stuff can creep back up when you're in perimenopause.” (35:41 | Ashlee)

• “How cool is it that we get to push the reset button? Quite literally, every month when we start a new bleed. What do I want to do differently this month?” (40:27 | Ashlee) 

A Bit Better Every Day podcast: https://podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/a-bit-better-every-day/id1563496116

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/heyashleenoel/?hl=en

Courses: https://ashleesorensen.podia.com/

Connect With Leslie:

Six Steps to Help Your Teen Cultivate Confidence: https://www.confidencecoachforgirls.com/

Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/the_coach_chronicles/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/CoachChronicles/