Memoirs of an LDS Servant Teacher

Why Does She Feel Unsafe? Why Does He Feel Like He’s Failing? Understanding Marriage Triggers and Trust


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In this episode of Memoirs of an LDS Servant Teacher, we dive deep into a painful cycle many couples face: why wives struggle to feel safe and why husbands feel like no matter what they do, they can’t get it right.

What happens when she’s triggered but doesn’t have the words to explain why? When he feels judged and overwhelmed, but doesn’t know how to fix it? What if neither partner truly understands their own emotional wiring—let alone each other’s?

This episode unpacks:
✔️ The “peanut dust” analogy—why some things affect one spouse deeply while the other doesn’t even notice.
✔️ Situational empathy: how husbands can learn through observation, not just conversation.
✔️ Why men equate competency with safety, and how failure feels like a personal attack.
✔️ How couples can predict and prepare for Satan’s strategic attacks on their relationship.
✔️ The role of deep reflection (D-PAR) in moving forward after emotional collisions.

If you’ve ever asked, “Why does this bother her so much?” or “Why can’t he just listen and take me seriously?”—this episode is for you.

Want to read more about this topic? ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.lifechangingservices.org/advice-to-my-12-year-old-self/


Rather Watch Something? ⁠https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z19MHfqpEsA&t=5s


Check out the Marriage Repair Workshops: ⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠⁠https://www.lifechangingservices.org/marriage-repair/⁠

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Memoirs of an LDS Servant TeacherBy Maurice Harker

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