Ever since I got married...no scratch that...ever since I got engaged, I'm constantly bombarded with questions from others if we are going to have kids or WHEN we are going to have kids. And every single time that topics is brought up to me, I instantly start sweating and get anxiety. It's not a topic I take lightly. I don't just say to myself, "Yeah, let's have kids! That will be so fun and everything will be great!" No. I think through that kind of stuff. Because kids are forever. They don't just go away. They rely on you to raise them, to wipe their bums, to help them become upstanding citizens. And at 28 years old, I'm just not ready for someone else to rely on me. That may be selfish, but I think selfish is the best thing to be until you are truly ready to become a selfless person who puts yourself second. And I'm just not there.

When I decided to make this a podcast episode, I wrote out a pros and cons list to having a baby. So here's the quick rundown.

Pros

My husband would be an awesome father

Cons

You have to grow a child inside of you then birth it - and all the body and gross stuff that goes with it. I've worked very hard to become comfortable with who I am and how I physically look and it's scary to lose some of that

Fertility issues - I've seen so many friends go through it and it looks so incredibly challenging both mentally and physically

Financially - children are expensive AF. Finally being able put money into a retirement account and feel more stable for the future is so great and it's scary to let some of that go.

You don't get to sleep much with children

Lack of sleep leads to a tough relationship with your partner

Lack of sleep leads to issues with cortisol which can lead to weight issues

Lack of sleep just really sucks

Less working out

I know this is a sketchy subject, I have just seen most of the people I know who used to workout religiously just not care as much about working out anymore. When they have the choice of working out or going home to their child, they obviously want to see their children. I know you can make it work, I just so often see people do the opposite, so that scares me.

Changes to your relationship

I don't personally know any people whose relationship has gotten stronger since they had children.

Stress to the relationship and different opinions about disciplining your children

I work all the time and my husband does too - not sure how we would change that. Because I don't want to work less and I don't think he could. Which leads to more financial stress to hire a nanny.

It’s your duty to raise an upstanding citizen, while not knowing what the hell you’re doing yourself.

What if you raise a serial killer?

What if they get in with the wrong crowd?

What if they don't get their sh*t together and live with you FOREVER?!

I know this comes off as a really pessimistic way to look at things, but I'm just being realistic about it. I think it's smart to think through these things because so often people just have children and the children aren't raised in the best environment. I want to feel ready, be ready, and have way less on my cons list. I think more people should really think this sh*t out. Think how different our world would be if they did.

At the end of the day, who knows if I'll someday want children. If I don't, I think I will have an awesome life. If I do, I think I'll have an awesome life. But in the meantime, I just want to hang out with my husband, save money, and do cool sh*t. But next time you're about to ask a person if they are planning to have kids, remember that they may be going through these things that I listed above and it may not be something they wan...