Why Do Kids Lie?

You can't take it personally or feel that you have failed as a parent.  Kids are going to lie and try to push boundaries. It's totally normal for them to lie.   Whether they want attention or want to avoid something bad they all do it.

The reasons they lie varies based on age.

Toddlers and Preschoolers (Ages 2 to 4)

They don't yet understand where truth begins and ends.  Reality is a little unclear

School-Age and Big Kids (Ages 5 to 8)

Often lie about school, classes, homework, teachers, and friends

Often lie because the responsibilities are too much.  There is too much pressure

Tweens (Ages 9 to 12)

To avoid getting in trouble

Getting better at maintaining lies

More senstive to repercussions

May be important to teach them situations where being completely honest isn't polite....like when someone cooks food for you and asks if you like it.

Here are some links of the articles we reference:

http://time.com/3628783/lying-punishment-kids-lie-more-study/ (http://time.com/3628783/lying-punishment-kids-lie-more-study/)

https://www.empoweringparents.com/article/how-to-deal-with-lying-in-children-and-teens/

Researchers traced the effectiveness of punishment in 372 kids between the ages of 4 and 8, finding that children were less likely to tell the truth when threatened with punishment, and more likely to tell the truth when they thought it would please an adult.

Don't punish a child for telling a lie.  Encourage them to tell the truth.

Here are a few ways to encourage honesty from a supernanny article (http://www.supernanny.co.uk/Advice/-/Parenting-Skills/-/Discipline-and-Reward/How-to-deal-with-lying-and-encourage-honesty-.aspx):

1. Calmly name the issue but don’t demand confessions.  Never call your child a liar or bring up the past.

2. Try to understand why your child is finding it hard to be honest.  Avoiding diclipline, pressure

3. Teach your child about why lying doesn’t work.  The boy who cried wolf

4. Respond with clear consequences. Very small.  Maybe having them do something extra to help. Let them know honesty will get approval

5. Set a good example.  Saying "I'm not here" when someone calls.  Taking a few years off your child's age to get a discount.