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If you’ve ever stayed in a relationship that was breaking you - or left one and wondered why the pain feels heavier than the love - this episode will speak to you. Trauma bonds make you confuse intensity for love, chaos for connection, and survival for loyalty. You know they hurt you… but you also know they’re the same person who “rescued” you from the hurt they caused. That cycle is powerful, addictive, and deeply confusing - especially when your nervous system has been trained to expect the highs and lows.In this episode, we explore the truth behind:

 • Why you stay in unhealthy relationships even when you know you deserve better
 • How childhood wounds, anxious attachment, and people-pleasing shape your choices in love
 • The difference between real repair and trauma-bonded “makeups”
 • Why leaving can make you feel numb, exhausted, or strangely peaceful
 • The grief of realising you loved them more than they ever loved you back
 • What happens when you finally start choosing yourself after years of self-abandonmentI also share a moment from my own life - running a 21km race during the hardest part of my separation - and how that run became the metaphor for rebuilding my self-worth, step by step, breath by breath. Not because my story is the point… but because sometimes someone else’s moment reminds you of your own strength.If you’re walking through a breakup, separation, divorce, or healing from an emotionally turbulent relationship, I want you to know:

 You are not crazy. You are not weak. And you are not alone.

Healing after leaving a trauma bond requires compassion, self-respect, nervous system safety, and the courage to meet the version of you that only emerges when you finally choose yourself. You deserve a relationship that feels calm, safe, and consistent — not one that makes you question your worth.

Connect with me:
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TikTok: @shazmeen_bank
Love Better Podcast on YouTube
The Perspective Podcast (with my son): ThePerspectivePodcastGS on YouTube & Spotify

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