UNDERSTANDABLE

By Robert Siegers

► Hi, my name is Robert! For a long time, I wondered why relationships felt so much harder for me than for others.

Over the past years, I had the privilege of spending thousands of dollars and countle... more

4.7

33 ratings

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FAQs about UNDERSTANDABLE:

How many episodes does UNDERSTANDABLE have?

The podcast currently has 525 episodes available.

UNDERSTANDABLE episodes:

August 02, 2026 What Avoidants Would Say If They Were Actually Honest (Confessions by a Healed Avoidant)
► Build secure relationships without losing yourself: https://understandable.net (ad)
Welcome to today's episode! In this video I share with brutal honesty, what avoidant would say in a dating phase or relationship, if they were actually honest.
► Links and Resources:
The Moment I Decided to Change Video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NkVmvMkZUI4&t=1s

► Subscribe On Your Favorite Platform!
YouTube: ⁠https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCGiJdF0yeTyRJanW_uSICDw?sub_confirmation=1⁠
Spotify: ⁠https://open.spotify.com/show/2gaheQLxBwByM9txVzlpI6
Apple Podcasts: ⁠https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/understandable/id1399616905
Amazon Music: ⁠https://music.amazon.de/podcasts/ee3580cb-61c5-4aa1-9ad4-1204014078e7/understandable⁠

► Episode Timestamps:
00:00 Introduction to Avoidant Honesty
01:46 Understanding the Avoidant Mind
02:25 The Dating Phase Illusion
06:05 Relationship Conflict and Avoidance
08:30 The Breakup and Regret Cycle
15:10 Hitting Rock Bottom
19:52 Ideas for Partners

► Reach Out To Me :)
E-Mail: [email protected]

► Hi, my name is Robert! I make videos about how to build stable, secure relationships without losing yourself or waiting forever for the “perfect” partner. :)

► Disclaimer: None of the contents are therapeutic or medical recommendations. The contents are not to be understood as therapeutic-medical instructions and are neither intended as professional health advice nor as education.
I am not a health professional myself. My content is based on research and my personal experiences working with various therapists as a client for three years.
...more
24min
July 31, 2026 Why the Bedroom Exposes Avoidant Attachment (99% of the Time)
► Build secure relationships without losing yourself: https://understandable.net (ad)Welcome to today's episode! In this video I get vulnerable and share with you how avoidant attachment shows up in the bedroom.► Links and Resources:Avoidant Attachment Darkest Coping Mechanism Video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zLyK-Yi1QpE► Subscribe On Your Favorite Platform! YouTube: ⁠https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCGiJdF0yeTyRJanW_uSICDw?sub_confirmation=1⁠ Spotify: ⁠https://open.spotify.com/show/2gaheQLxBwByM9txVzlpI6 Apple Podcasts: ⁠https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/understandable/id1399616905 Amazon Music: ⁠https://music.amazon.de/podcasts/ee3580cb-61c5-4aa1-9ad4-1204014078e7/understandable⁠ ► Episode Timestamps:00:00 Introduction02:38 Childhood Origins06:08 The Dating Phase07:14 The Rollercoaster Phase09:44 The Mechanical Phase13:03 The Drought Period16:02 Solutions and Healing20:03 Setting Boundaries► Reach Out To Me :)E-Mail: [email protected]► Hi, my name is Robert! I make videos about how to build stable, secure relationships without losing yourself or waiting forever for the “perfect” partner. :)► Disclaimer: None of the contents are therapeutic or medical recommendations. The contents are not to be understood as therapeutic-medical instructions and are neither intended as professional health advice nor as education.I am not a health professional myself. My content is based on research and my personal experiences working with various therapists as a client for three years.
...more
22min
July 29, 2026 The 5 Stages an Avoidant Goes Through When You Dump Them (Actual Timeline)
► Build secure relationships without losing yourself: https://understandable.net (ad)

Welcome to today's episode! In this video I present the full timeline to you, the avoidant goes through when you dump them. But I also present another timeline...

► Links and Resources:
Why They Lose Feelings Video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dHOxRnU4pEU&t=3s
No Contact Video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A9xqR6zfBIk&t=13s

► Subscribe On Your Favorite Platform!
YouTube: ⁠https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCGiJdF0yeTyRJanW_uSICDw?sub_confirmation=1⁠
Spotify: ⁠https://open.spotify.com/show/2gaheQLxBwByM9txVzlpI6
Apple Podcasts: ⁠https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/understandable/id1399616905
Amazon Music: ⁠https://music.amazon.de/podcasts/ee3580cb-61c5-4aa1-9ad4-1204014078e7/understandable⁠

► Episode Timestamps:
00:00 Introduction
02:21 Stage 0: Pre-Breakup Dynamics
06:28 Stage 1: Initial Breakup Shock
09:59 Stage 2: Denial and Anger
12:27 Stage 3: Recovery and Reflection
15:27 Stage 4: Loneliness and Regret
18:03 Stage 5: The Crawl Back
19:35 Moving Toward Security

► Reach Out To Me :)
E-Mail: [email protected]

► Hi, my name is Robert! I make videos about how to build stable, secure relationships without losing yourself or waiting forever for the “perfect” partner. :)

► Disclaimer: None of the contents are therapeutic or medical recommendations. The contents are not to be understood as therapeutic-medical instructions and are neither intended as professional health advice nor as education.
I am not a health professional myself. My content is based on research and my personal experiences working with various therapists as a client for three years.
...more
22min
July 26, 2026 THIS Happens When You Dump an Avoidant (From a Recovered Avoidant)
► Build secure relationships without losing yourself: https://understandable.net (ad)

Welcome to today's episode! In this video I share with you what happens when YOU dump an avoidant first.

► Links and Resources:
Why Avoidants Lose Feelings Video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dHOxRnU4pEU&t=3s

► Subscribe On Your Favorite Platform!
YouTube: ⁠https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCGiJdF0yeTyRJanW_uSICDw?sub_confirmation=1⁠
Spotify: ⁠https://open.spotify.com/show/2gaheQLxBwByM9txVzlpI6
Apple Podcasts: ⁠https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/understandable/id1399616905
Amazon Music: ⁠https://music.amazon.de/podcasts/ee3580cb-61c5-4aa1-9ad4-1204014078e7/understandable⁠

► Episode Timestamps:
00:00 Introduction
01:56 The Avoidant Mindset
05:02 1. Unaware Avoidant Reaction
09:18 2. The Mixed Reaction
14:05 3. Shock and Fear
17:15 Evaluating Potential
18:17 Your Perspective
22:23 Building Self-Worth

► Reach Out To Me :)
E-Mail: [email protected]

► Hi, my name is Robert! I make videos about how to build stable, secure relationships without losing yourself or waiting forever for the “perfect” partner. :)

► Disclaimer: None of the contents are therapeutic or medical recommendations. The contents are not to be understood as therapeutic-medical instructions and are neither intended as professional health advice nor as education.
I am not a health professional myself. My content is based on research and my personal experiences working with various therapists as a client for three years.
...more
24min
July 24, 2026 Healed Avoidant Explains the Avoidant's Idea of a Healthy Relationship
► Build stable, secure relationships without the push and pull: https://understandable.net (ad)

Welcome to today's episode! Today I talk about the avoidant's idea of a healthy relationship.

► Links and Resources:
Complex Trauma, Complex Needs Paper: https://www1.racgp.org.au/getattachment/79710ca4-e98e-46aa-8f8f-d5f763ea8ef4/Adult-survivors-of-childhood-trauma.aspx
Why Avoidants Have No Clue What They Need and Feel: https://youtu.be/YoerBrHSdUI?si=8_lsOdJd_bPAM7e7
Overcompensation Through Missing Puzzle Piece Video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7kGDhim-YlY

► Subscribe On Your Favorite Platform!
YouTube: ⁠https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCGiJdF0yeTyRJanW_uSICDw?sub_confirmation=1⁠
Spotify: ⁠https://open.spotify.com/show/2gaheQLxBwByM9txVzlpI6
Apple Podcasts: ⁠https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/understandable/id1399616905
Amazon Music: ⁠https://music.amazon.de/podcasts/ee3580cb-61c5-4aa1-9ad4-1204014078e7/understandable⁠

► Episode Timestamps:
00:00 Introduction
03:11 The Role of Needs
06:55 Core Affected Needs
13:50 Expressing Emotional Needs
19:20 Seeking Support and Acceptance
29:10 The Need for Consistency
33:30 Avoidant Identity, Values and Core Beliefs
47:18 Practical Relationship Advice

► Reach Out To Me :)
E-Mail: [email protected]

► Hi, my name is Robert! I make videos about how to build stable, secure relationships without losing yourself or waiting forever for the “perfect” partner. :)

► Disclaimer: None of the contents are therapeutic or medical recommendations. The contents are not to be understood as therapeutic-medical instructions and are neither intended as professional health advice nor as education.
I am not a health professional myself. My content is based on research and my personal experiences working with various therapists as a client for three years.

...more
45min
July 22, 2026 Healed Avoidant: 5 Early Signs of Healing
► Build stable, secure relationships without the push and pull: https://understandable.net (ad)

Welcome to today's episode! In this video I share 5 early signs of healing from my own therapy-journey with you.

► Links and Resources:
This Makes Avoidants Actually Stay Video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NkVmvMkZUI4&t=1s
Catastrophic Dragon Video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H_lwt0bcXGA

► Subscribe On Your Favorite Platform!
YouTube: ⁠https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCGiJdF0yeTyRJanW_uSICDw?sub_confirmation=1⁠
Spotify: ⁠https://open.spotify.com/show/2gaheQLxBwByM9txVzlpI6
Apple Podcasts: ⁠https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/understandable/id1399616905
Amazon Music: ⁠https://music.amazon.de/podcasts/ee3580cb-61c5-4aa1-9ad4-1204014078e7/understandable⁠

► Episode Timestamps:
00:00 Introduction
02:26 Sign 1: Panic Is Gone
06:55 Sign 2: Trusting the Future
09:27 Sign 3: Questioning Inner Beliefs
13:59 Sign 4: Sharing Vulnerable Needs
17:32 Sign 5: Overcoming Defiance
22:59 Conclusion

► Reach Out To Me :)
E-Mail: [email protected]

► Hi, my name is Robert! I make videos about how to build stable, secure relationships without losing yourself or waiting forever for the “perfect” partner. :)

► Disclaimer: None of the contents are therapeutic or medical recommendations. The contents are not to be understood as therapeutic-medical instructions and are neither intended as professional health advice nor as education.
I am not a health professional myself. My content is based on research and my personal experiences working with various therapists as a client for three years.

...more
25min
July 19, 2026 How Does Your Avoidant Ex Come Back (Actual Timeline)
► Build secure relationships without losing yourself: https://understandable.net (ad)Welcome to today's episode! In this video I reveal the full timeline of how an avoidant or emotionally unavailable ex comes back.► Links and Resources:The Moment I Decided to Change Video: https://youtu.be/NkVmvMkZUI4?si=M2H195oaNQWTkl9e ► Subscribe On Your Favorite Platform! YouTube: ⁠https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCGiJdF0yeTyRJanW_uSICDw?sub_confirmation=1⁠ Spotify: ⁠https://open.spotify.com/show/2gaheQLxBwByM9txVzlpI6 Apple Podcasts: ⁠https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/understandable/id1399616905 Amazon Music: ⁠https://music.amazon.de/podcasts/ee3580cb-61c5-4aa1-9ad4-1204014078e7/understandable⁠ ► Episode Timestamps:00:00 Introduction
02:33 Stage 0: Why They Leave
10:12 Stage 1: No Contact
14:14 Stage 2: Reconnection
17:18 Stage 3: Dating Again
19:56 Stage 4: The Decision
24:08 Building Self-Worth► Reach Out To Me :)E-Mail: [email protected]► Hi, my name is Robert! I make videos about how to build stable, secure relationships without losing yourself or waiting forever for the “perfect” partner. :)► Disclaimer: None of the contents are therapeutic or medical recommendations. The contents are not to be understood as therapeutic-medical instructions and are neither intended as professional health advice nor as education.I am not a health professional myself. My content is based on research and my personal experiences working with various therapists as a client for three years.
...more
28min
July 17, 2026 Healed Avoidant Explains How to Respond When an Avoidant Comes Back
► Build secure relationships, without losing yourself: https://understandable.net (ad)

Welcome to today's episode! In this video I explain how to respond when an avoidant comes back after rejection, after a breakup or after no contact.

► Links and Resources:
Why Avoidants Come Back Video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4umBMT2pBpY&t=10s

► Subscribe On Your Favorite Platform!
YouTube: ⁠https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCGiJdF0yeTyRJanW_uSICDw?sub_confirmation=1⁠
Spotify: ⁠https://open.spotify.com/show/2gaheQLxBwByM9txVzlpI6
Apple Podcasts: ⁠https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/understandable/id1399616905
Amazon Music: ⁠https://music.amazon.de/podcasts/ee3580cb-61c5-4aa1-9ad4-1204014078e7/understandable⁠

► Episode Timestamps:
00:00 Intro
03:30 Why Avoidants Return
11:54 Ask This One Question
16:15 Breaking the Chasing Pattern
26:34 Developing a Solid Self
30:41 The Dragon Metaphor
36:05 Setting Healthy Boundaries
40:40 Conclusion and Resources

► Reach Out To Me :)
E-Mail: [email protected]

► Hi, my name is Robert! I make videos about how to build stable, secure relationships without losing yourself or waiting forever for the “perfect” partner. :)

► Disclaimer: None of the contents are therapeutic or medical recommendations. The contents are not to be understood as therapeutic-medical instructions and are neither intended as professional health advice nor as education.
I am not a health professional myself. My content is based on research and my personal experiences working with various therapists as a client for three years.
...more
40min
July 15, 2026 Healed Avoidant Explains When Avoidants Always Come Back (Actual Timeline)
► Build stable, secure relationships without the push and pull: https://understandable.net (ad)

Welcome to today's episode! In this video I explain WHEN different types of avoidants come back.

► Links and Resources:
What Makes Avoidants Come Back Video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WViklne-zM8&t=119s&pp=0gcJCUELAYcqIYzv
Limerence Video: https://youtu.be/gDz8U2zaF0A?si=IiO-D4TOXO82kucM
The Neuroscience Behind Why They Pull Away: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=pv5K9dbfp84
Dismissive vs Fearful Avoidant Video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gouD0FnR6qE&t=4s

► Subscribe On Your Favorite Platform!
YouTube: ⁠https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCGiJdF0yeTyRJanW_uSICDw?sub_confirmation=1⁠
Spotify: ⁠https://open.spotify.com/show/2gaheQLxBwByM9txVzlpI6
Apple Podcasts: ⁠https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/understandable/id1399616905
Amazon Music: ⁠https://music.amazon.de/podcasts/ee3580cb-61c5-4aa1-9ad4-1204014078e7/understandable⁠

► Episode Timestamps:
00:00 When Avoidants Return
02:04 Group 1: Regulating Avoidants Timeline
11:35 Group 2: Ambivalent Avoidants Timeline
23:19 Group 3: Loving Avoidants Timeline
28:38 Final Message and Reflection

► Reach Out To Me :)
E-Mail: [email protected]

► Hi, my name is Robert! I make videos about how to build stable, secure relationships without losing yourself or waiting forever for the “perfect” partner. :)

► Disclaimer: None of the contents are therapeutic or medical recommendations. The contents are not to be understood as therapeutic-medical instructions and are neither intended as professional health advice nor as education.
I am not a health professional myself. My content is based on research and my personal experiences working with various therapists as a client for three years.

...more
34min
July 10, 2026 Healed Avoidant Explains How a Secure Person Handles an Avoidant Pulling Away
► Build secure relationships, without losing yourself: https://understandable.net (ad)

Welcome to today's episode! In this video I talk about how a secure person handles an avoidant pulling away.

► Links and Resources:
Relational Needs & Standards Video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dHOxRnU4pEU&t=3s
The 3 Types of Avoidants (Why They Come Back) Video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WViklne-zM8&t=961s

► Subscribe On Your Favorite Platform!
YouTube: ⁠https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCGiJdF0yeTyRJanW_uSICDw?sub_confirmation=1⁠
Spotify: ⁠https://open.spotify.com/show/2gaheQLxBwByM9txVzlpI6
Apple Podcasts: ⁠https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/understandable/id1399616905
Amazon Music: ⁠https://music.amazon.de/podcasts/ee3580cb-61c5-4aa1-9ad4-1204014078e7/understandable⁠

► Episode Timestamps:
00:00 Overview
02:20 Typical Avoidant Dating Scenario
03:20 Why Avoidants Pull Away
08:00 Major Difference Between Secure & Avoidant Person
12:00 How a Secure Person Handles an Avoidant Pulling Away
20:30 Was It Your Fault?

► Reach Out To Me :)
E-Mail: [email protected]

► Hi, my name is Robert! I make videos about how to build stable, secure relationships without losing yourself or waiting forever for the “perfect” partner. :)

► Disclaimer: None of the contents are therapeutic or medical recommendations. The contents are not to be understood as therapeutic-medical instructions and are neither intended as professional health advice nor as education.
I am not a health professional myself. My content is based on research and my personal experiences working with various therapists as a client for three years.

...more
24min

FAQs about UNDERSTANDABLE:

How many episodes does UNDERSTANDABLE have?

The podcast currently has 525 episodes available.

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