► Build secure relationships, without losing yourself: https://understandable.net (ad)

Welcome to today's episode! In this video I talk about how a secure person handles an avoidant pulling away.

► Links and Resources:

Relational Needs & Standards Video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dHOxRnU4pEU&t=3s

The 3 Types of Avoidants (Why They Come Back) Video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=WViklne-zM8&t=961s

► Subscribe On Your Favorite Platform!

YouTube: ⁠https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCGiJdF0yeTyRJanW_uSICDw?sub_confirmation=1⁠

Spotify: ⁠https://open.spotify.com/show/2gaheQLxBwByM9txVzlpI6

Apple Podcasts: ⁠https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/understandable/id1399616905

Amazon Music: ⁠https://music.amazon.de/podcasts/ee3580cb-61c5-4aa1-9ad4-1204014078e7/understandable⁠

► Episode Timestamps:

00:00 Overview

02:20 Typical Avoidant Dating Scenario

03:20 Why Avoidants Pull Away

08:00 Major Difference Between Secure & Avoidant Person

12:00 How a Secure Person Handles an Avoidant Pulling Away

20:30 Was It Your Fault?

► Reach Out To Me :)

E-Mail: [email protected]

► Hi, my name is Robert! I make videos about how to build stable, secure relationships without losing yourself or waiting forever for the “perfect” partner. :)

► Disclaimer: None of the contents are therapeutic or medical recommendations. The contents are not to be understood as therapeutic-medical instructions and are neither intended as professional health advice nor as education.

I am not a health professional myself. My content is based on research and my personal experiences working with various therapists as a client for three years.

► Build secure relationships, without losing yourself: https://understandable.net (ad)

Welcome to today's episode! Here's why most avoidants come back after no contact and how to respond to their comeback

► Links and Resources:

No Contact Video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A9xqR6zfBIk&t=13s

Rebound Relationship Video: https://youtu.be/QrhTOoAai_M?si=G8Z4AcXbOLvsXePk

► Subscribe On Your Favorite Platform!

YouTube: ⁠https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCGiJdF0yeTyRJanW_uSICDw?sub_confirmation=1⁠

Spotify: ⁠https://open.spotify.com/show/2gaheQLxBwByM9txVzlpI6

Apple Podcasts: ⁠https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/understandable/id1399616905

Amazon Music: ⁠https://music.amazon.de/podcasts/ee3580cb-61c5-4aa1-9ad4-1204014078e7/understandable⁠

► Episode Timestamps:

00:00 Introduction to No Contact

02:03 What Is No Contact

03:55 Why Avoidants Return

09:11 Your Growth During Separation

13:19 How to React When They Come Back

17:14 Assessing True Change

20:04 Final Thoughts

► Reach Out To Me :)

E-Mail: [email protected]

► Hi, my name is Robert! I make videos about how to build stable, secure relationships without losing yourself or waiting forever for the “perfect” partner. :)

► Disclaimer: None of the contents are therapeutic or medical recommendations. The contents are not to be understood as therapeutic-medical instructions and are neither intended as professional health advice nor as education.

I am not a health professional myself. My content is based on research and my personal experiences working with various therapists as a client for three years.

► Build stable, secure relationships without the push and pull: https://understandable.net (ad)

Welcome to today's episode! Today I share with you what happens if you actually stop chasing an avoidant.

► Links and Resources:

The Psychology of an Avoidant Man During No Contact Video: https://youtu.be/690-YYeWwVY

Rebound Relationship Video: https://youtu.be/QrhTOoAai_M

► Subscribe On Your Favorite Platform!

YouTube: ⁠https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCGiJdF0yeTyRJanW_uSICDw?sub_confirmation=1⁠

Spotify: ⁠https://open.spotify.com/show/2gaheQLxBwByM9txVzlpI6

Apple Podcasts: ⁠https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/understandable/id1399616905

Amazon Music: ⁠https://music.amazon.de/podcasts/ee3580cb-61c5-4aa1-9ad4-1204014078e7/understandable⁠

► Episode Timestamps:

00:00 Introduction

02:45 Type 1: Unaware Avoidants

06:47 Reaction to Stopping the Chase

14:03 Type 2: Healing Avoidants

16:58 The Magic of Space

24:12 Is It Worth Chasing?

27:15 The 110% Commitment Rule

► Reach Out To Me :)

E-Mail: [email protected]

► Hi, my name is Robert! I make videos about how to build stable, secure relationships without losing yourself or waiting forever for the “perfect” partner. :)

► Disclaimer: None of the contents are therapeutic or medical recommendations. The contents are not to be understood as therapeutic-medical instructions and are neither intended as professional health advice nor as education.

I am not a health professional myself. My content is based on research and my personal experiences working with various therapists as a client for three years.

► Build stable, secure relationships without the push and pull: https://understandable.net (ad)

Welcome to today's episode! Today I try to break down the Avoidant Ick (Flaw Zoom). I also explain the link between the flaw zoom, high standards and why avoidants lose feelings.

► Links and Resources:

Why Avoidants Have No Clue What They Need Video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YoerBrHSdUI

► Subscribe On Your Favorite Platform!

YouTube: ⁠https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCGiJdF0yeTyRJanW_uSICDw?sub_confirmation=1⁠

Spotify: ⁠https://open.spotify.com/show/2gaheQLxBwByM9txVzlpI6

Apple Podcasts: ⁠https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/understandable/id1399616905

Amazon Music: ⁠https://music.amazon.de/podcasts/ee3580cb-61c5-4aa1-9ad4-1204014078e7/understandable⁠

► Episode Timestamps:

00:00 Understanding Avoidant Ick

04:55 The Flaw Zoom Mechanism

13:44 The Three-Level Filter

16:45 Two Protection System Types

22:14 Societal Influence on Attraction

31:14 Five Pillars of Relational Needs

37:23 Love Versus Compatibility

40:43 Defining Your Standards

► Reach Out To Me :)

E-Mail: [email protected]

► Hi, my name is Robert! I make videos about how to build stable, secure relationships without losing yourself or waiting forever for the “perfect” partner. :)

► Disclaimer: None of the contents are therapeutic or medical recommendations. The contents are not to be understood as therapeutic-medical instructions and are neither intended as professional health advice nor as education.

I am not a health professional myself. My content is based on research and my personal experiences working with various therapists as a client for three years.

► Build secure relationships, without losing yourself: https://understandable.net  (ad)

Welcome to today's episode! In this one I share how a secure person responds to breadcrumbing.

► Links and Resources:

Avoidant Breadcrumbing Video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JVoakqE9UXg&pp=0gcJCUwLAYcqIYzv

► Subscribe On Your Favorite Platform!

YouTube: ⁠https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCGiJdF0yeTyRJanW_uSICDw?sub_confirmation=1⁠

Spotify: ⁠https://open.spotify.com/show/2gaheQLxBwByM9txVzlpI6

Apple Podcasts: ⁠https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/understandable/id1399616905

Amazon Music: ⁠https://music.amazon.de/podcasts/ee3580cb-61c5-4aa1-9ad4-1204014078e7/understandable⁠

► Episode Timestamps:

00:00 Introduction

02:24 What is Breadcrumbing?

05:58 The Psychology of Breadcrumbing

07:45 Insecure vs. Secure Responses to Breadcrumbing

14:21 Story: When I Was Chasing Crumbs

25:20 Why We Can't Stop Chasing Crumbs

30:56 How to Stop Chasing Breadcrumbs

► Reach Out To Me :)

E-Mail: [email protected]

► Hi, my name is Robert! I make videos about how to build stable, secure relationships without losing yourself or waiting forever for the “perfect” partner. :)

► Disclaimer: None of the contents are therapeutic or medical recommendations. The contents are not to be understood as therapeutic-medical instructions and are neither intended as professional health advice nor as education.

I am not a health professional myself. My content is based on research and my personal experiences working with various therapists as a client for three years.

► Build stable, secure relationships without the push and pull: https://understandable.net (ad)

Welcome to today's episode! Today I share with you what avoidant breadcrumbing really means and why avoidants practice it.

► Links and Resources:

Avoidant vs Narcissist Video: https://youtu.be/uADzIhUsuKc

► Subscribe On Your Favorite Platform!

YouTube: ⁠https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCGiJdF0yeTyRJanW_uSICDw?sub_confirmation=1⁠

Spotify: ⁠https://open.spotify.com/show/2gaheQLxBwByM9txVzlpI6

Apple Podcasts: ⁠https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/understandable/id1399616905

Amazon Music: ⁠https://music.amazon.de/podcasts/ee3580cb-61c5-4aa1-9ad4-1204014078e7/understandable⁠

► Episode Timestamps:

00:00 Understanding Avoidant Breadcrumbing

01:33 Identifying Breadcrumbing Patterns

05:38 The Avoidant Psyche (Filling the Void)

08:43 The Need for Validation

14:11 3 Types of Breadcrumbs

19:40 3 Breadcrumbing Tests

26:00 Solutions for Breadcrumbing

► Reach Out To Me :)

E-Mail: [email protected]

► Hi, my name is Robert! I make videos about how to build stable, secure relationships without losing yourself or waiting forever for the “perfect” partner. :)

► Disclaimer: None of the contents are therapeutic or medical recommendations. The contents are not to be understood as therapeutic-medical instructions and are neither intended as professional health advice nor as education.

I am not a health professional myself. My content is based on research and my personal experiences working with various therapists as a client for three years.

► Build stable, secure relationships without the push and pull: https://understandable.net (ad)

Welcome to today's episode! Today I share with you the three different reasons of what makes avoidants always return after a breakup, rejection or no contact phase.

► Links and Resources:

Limerence vs Love Video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mmNjDwdPwOA&t=2s

► Subscribe On Your Favorite Platform!

YouTube: ⁠https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCGiJdF0yeTyRJanW_uSICDw?sub_confirmation=1⁠

Spotify: ⁠https://open.spotify.com/show/2gaheQLxBwByM9txVzlpI6

Apple Podcasts: ⁠https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/understandable/id1399616905

Amazon Music: ⁠https://music.amazon.de/podcasts/ee3580cb-61c5-4aa1-9ad4-1204014078e7/understandable⁠

► Episode Timestamps:

00:00 Why Avoidants Return

01:35 Three Types of Avoidants

04:02 Group 1: Unaware Avoidants

11:14 Group 2: Immature Avoidants

16:08 Group 3: Loving Avoidants

20:19 Hope for a Relationship

22:30 Healing and Moving Forward

► Reach Out To Me :)

E-Mail: [email protected]

► Hi, my name is Robert! I make videos about how to build stable, secure relationships without losing yourself or waiting forever for the “perfect” partner. :)

► Disclaimer: None of the contents are therapeutic or medical recommendations. The contents are not to be understood as therapeutic-medical instructions and are neither intended as professional health advice nor as education.

I am not a health professional myself. My content is based on research and my personal experiences working with various therapists as a client for three years.

► Build stable, secure relationships without the push and pull: https://understandable.net (ad)

Welcome to today's episode! Here's the avoidant regret timeline. The actual one!

► Subscribe On Your Favorite Platform!

YouTube: ⁠https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCGiJdF0yeTyRJanW_uSICDw?sub_confirmation=1⁠

Spotify: ⁠https://open.spotify.com/show/2gaheQLxBwByM9txVzlpI6

Apple Podcasts: ⁠https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/understandable/id1399616905

Amazon Music: ⁠https://music.amazon.de/podcasts/ee3580cb-61c5-4aa1-9ad4-1204014078e7/understandable⁠

► Episode Timestamps:

00:00 Introduction

02:22 Before the Breakup

07:40 Stage One: Relief

13:32 Stage Two: Realization

17:17 Stage Three: New Normal

18:15 Stage Four: Idealizing

21:21 Stage Five: Actual Regret

23:43 What Regret Means

26:35 Your Healing Timeline

► Reach Out To Me :)

E-Mail: [email protected]

► Hi, my name is Robert! I make videos about how to build stable, secure relationships without losing yourself or waiting forever for the “perfect” partner. :)

► Disclaimer: None of the contents are therapeutic or medical recommendations. The contents are not to be understood as therapeutic-medical instructions and are neither intended as professional health advice nor as education.

I am not a health professional myself. My content is based on research and my personal experiences working with various therapists as a client for three years.

► Build stable, secure relationships without the push and pull: https://understandable.net (ad)

Welcome to today's episode! Today I share the psychology of an avoidant man during the no contact phase with you.

► Links and Resources:

Limerence Episode: https://youtu.be/gDz8U2zaF0A?si=yYn1F-uIbJS0mIWt

► Subscribe On Your Favorite Platform!

YouTube: ⁠https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCGiJdF0yeTyRJanW_uSICDw?sub_confirmation=1⁠

Spotify: ⁠https://open.spotify.com/show/2gaheQLxBwByM9txVzlpI6

Apple Podcasts: ⁠https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/understandable/id1399616905

Amazon Music: ⁠https://music.amazon.de/podcasts/ee3580cb-61c5-4aa1-9ad4-1204014078e7/understandable⁠

► Episode Timestamps:

00:00 Introduction

01:37 Two Types of Avoidants

02:45 The Self-Unaware Man

06:51 Self-Unaware No Contact Timeline

15:00 The Self-Aware Man

16:51 Self-Aware No Contact Timeline

22:33 Evaluating Your Relationship

► Reach Out To Me :)

E-Mail: [email protected]

► Hi, my name is Robert! I make videos about how to build stable, secure relationships without losing yourself or waiting forever for the “perfect” partner. :)

► Disclaimer: None of the contents are therapeutic or medical recommendations. The contents are not to be understood as therapeutic-medical instructions and are neither intended as professional health advice nor as education.

I am not a health professional myself. My content is based on research and my personal experiences working with various therapists as a client for three years.

► Build stable, secure relationships without the push and pull: https://understandable.net (ad)

Welcome to today's episode! In this video I explain how to tell if someone has narcissim or an avoidant attachment style.

► Links and Resources:

Can Patients With Narcissistic Personality Disorder Change? Paper: https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/38949659/

Narcissistic Personality Disorder: Progress in Understanding and Treatment: https://psychiatryonline.org/doi/full/10.1176/appi.focus.20220052

Earned Secure Attachment Paper: https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/abs/10.1177/00332941241277495

Prevalence of Narcissism Paper: https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/20579503/

The first 10,000 Adult Attachment Interviews Paper: https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/19455453/

Deactivation Video: https://youtu.be/fi-wUf36e9k?si=MsjjB-DCVic0sUPY

8 Phases How I Healed Avoidant Attachment Patterns Video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4SrSolyrSCQ

► Subscribe On Your Favorite Platform!

YouTube: ⁠https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCGiJdF0yeTyRJanW_uSICDw?sub_confirmation=1⁠

Spotify: ⁠https://open.spotify.com/show/2gaheQLxBwByM9txVzlpI6

Apple Podcasts: ⁠https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/understandable/id1399616905

Amazon Music: ⁠https://music.amazon.de/podcasts/ee3580cb-61c5-4aa1-9ad4-1204014078e7/understandable⁠

► Episode Timestamps:

00:00 Intro

01:49 How Many People are Avoidant vs. Narcissistic?

03:41 Narcissism vs. Avoidant Attachment Behaviors

21:43 The Overlap: Similarities

26:18 Can They Change and become available for Relationships?

29:30 How To Change: What Actually Matters

► Reach Out To Me :)

E-Mail: [email protected]

► Hi, my name is Robert! I make videos about how to build stable, secure relationships without losing yourself or waiting forever for the “perfect” partner. :)

► Disclaimer: None of the contents are therapeutic or medical recommendations. The contents are not to be understood as therapeutic-medical instructions and are neither intended as professional health advice nor as education.

I am not a health professional myself. My content is based on research and my personal experiences working with various therapists as a client for three years.