UNDERSTANDABLE

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Welcome to today's episode! In this video I share with you how to get over an avoidant ex, even if they keep coming back.

► Links and Resources:

Why Avoidants Always Come Back Video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4umBMT2pBpY&t=11s&pp=0gcJCfkLAYcqIYzv

Trauma Bonds Video: https://youtu.be/J70RwIER2BQ?si=EZ72GHlFDCL7DoWy

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Spotify: ⁠https://open.spotify.com/show/2gaheQLxBwByM9txVzlpI6

Apple Podcasts: ⁠https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/understandable/id1399616905

Amazon Music: ⁠https://music.amazon.de/podcasts/ee3580cb-61c5-4aa1-9ad4-1204014078e7/understandable⁠

► Episode Timestamps:

00:00 Introduction

03:35 When Avoidants Return

06:26 Phase 1

10:20 Phase 2

12:10 Phase 3

15:14 Phase 4

16:25 Phase 5

17:35 Phase 6

► Reach Out To Me :)

E-Mail: [email protected]

► Hi, my name is Robert! I make videos about how to build stable, secure relationships without losing yourself or waiting forever for the “perfect” partner. :)

► Disclaimer: None of the contents are therapeutic or medical recommendations. The contents are not to be understood as therapeutic-medical instructions and are neither intended as professional health advice nor as education.

I am not a health professional myself. My content is based on research and my personal experiences working with various therapists as a client for three years.

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Welcome to today's episode! In this video I share with you what avoidants secretly hope you do when they stonewall.

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YouTube: ⁠https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCGiJdF0yeTyRJanW_uSICDw?sub_confirmation=1⁠

Spotify: ⁠https://open.spotify.com/show/2gaheQLxBwByM9txVzlpI6

Apple Podcasts: ⁠https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/understandable/id1399616905

Amazon Music: ⁠https://music.amazon.de/podcasts/ee3580cb-61c5-4aa1-9ad4-1204014078e7/understandable⁠

► Episode Timestamps:

00:00 Introduction

01:39 What Is Stonewalling?

02:48 Recognizing Stonewalling Behaviors

03:58 The Avoidant Perspective

05:29 Managing Conflict Effectively

07:40 What Avoidants Secretly Hope You Do

11:42 Mistakes to Avoid

15:39 Responding to Avoidant Stonewalling

► Reach Out To Me :)

E-Mail: [email protected]

► Hi, my name is Robert! I make videos about how to build stable, secure relationships without losing yourself or waiting forever for the “perfect” partner. :)

► Disclaimer: None of the contents are therapeutic or medical recommendations. The contents are not to be understood as therapeutic-medical instructions and are neither intended as professional health advice nor as education.

I am not a health professional myself. My content is based on research and my personal experiences working with various therapists as a client for three years.

► Build secure relationships without losing yourself: https://understandable.net (ad)

Welcome to today's episode! In this video I explain what avoidant stonewalling is and how to respond to it the right way.

► Links and Resources:

Avoidant Shutdown Video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dprG1JtJxzc&t=5s

Dissociation Video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=UZsTUS_jlYg&t=7s

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YouTube: ⁠https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCGiJdF0yeTyRJanW_uSICDw?sub_confirmation=1⁠

Spotify: ⁠https://open.spotify.com/show/2gaheQLxBwByM9txVzlpI6

Apple Podcasts: ⁠https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/understandable/id1399616905

Amazon Music: ⁠https://music.amazon.de/podcasts/ee3580cb-61c5-4aa1-9ad4-1204014078e7/understandable⁠

► Episode Timestamps:

00:00 Why Avoidants Stonewall

02:07 Defining Stonewalling

03:13 Examples of Stonewalling

07:12 The Stonewalling Cycle

13:00 How to Respond

19:37 Moving Forward

► Reach Out To Me :)

E-Mail: [email protected]

► Hi, my name is Robert! I make videos about how to build stable, secure relationships without losing yourself or waiting forever for the “perfect” partner. :)

► Disclaimer: None of the contents are therapeutic or medical recommendations. The contents are not to be understood as therapeutic-medical instructions and are neither intended as professional health advice nor as education.

I am not a health professional myself. My content is based on research and my personal experiences working with various therapists as a client for three years.

► Build secure relationships without losing yourself: https://understandable.net (ad)

Welcome to today's episode! In this video I explain how to respond when an avoidant partner rejects you.

► Links and Resources:

Deactivation Strategies Video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fi-wUf36e9k&t=1s&pp=0gcJCcQLAYcqIYzv

► Subscribe On Your Favorite Platform!

YouTube: ⁠https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCGiJdF0yeTyRJanW_uSICDw?sub_confirmation=1⁠

Spotify: ⁠https://open.spotify.com/show/2gaheQLxBwByM9txVzlpI6

Apple Podcasts: ⁠https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/understandable/id1399616905

Amazon Music: ⁠https://music.amazon.de/podcasts/ee3580cb-61c5-4aa1-9ad4-1204014078e7/understandable⁠

► Episode Timestamps:

00:00 Introduction

01:00 My Personal Journey

02:05 Why Avoidants Reject

07:01 Three Common Partner-Reactions

14:22 The Secure Response

17:42 Six Steps to Healing

► Reach Out To Me :)

E-Mail: [email protected]

► Hi, my name is Robert! I make videos about how to build stable, secure relationships without losing yourself or waiting forever for the “perfect” partner. :)

► Disclaimer: None of the contents are therapeutic or medical recommendations. The contents are not to be understood as therapeutic-medical instructions and are neither intended as professional health advice nor as education.

I am not a health professional myself. My content is based on research and my personal experiences working with various therapists as a client for three years.

► Build secure relationships without losing yourself: https://understandable.net (ad)

Welcome to today's episode! In this video I reveal the #1 reason why avoidant partners pull away. I also share when it's the best moment to move on.

► Links and Resources:

Polyvagal Theory Video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2iT8Msp8Vx0&pp=0gcJCaMLAYcqIYzv

Narcissist vs Avoidant Video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uADzIhUsuKc

Avoidant Attachment Gets Exposed in the Bedroom Video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F_BNVcbVIbM

Deactivation Strategies Video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fi-wUf36e9k

Shutdown Video: https://youtu.be/dprG1JtJxzc

The Moment Avoidants Decide to Change Video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NkVmvMkZUI4&t=1s

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YouTube: ⁠https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCGiJdF0yeTyRJanW_uSICDw?sub_confirmation=1⁠

Spotify: ⁠https://open.spotify.com/show/2gaheQLxBwByM9txVzlpI6

Apple Podcasts: ⁠https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/understandable/id1399616905

Amazon Music: ⁠https://music.amazon.de/podcasts/ee3580cb-61c5-4aa1-9ad4-1204014078e7/understandable⁠

► Episode Timestamps:

00:00 Intro

01:46 The Pull-Away Mechanism

03:52 The Four F's

04:31 Fight Responses

11:01 Flight Responses

15:49 Freeze Responses

19:38 Fawn Responses

21:00 When to Move On

26:55 The Rock Bottom

► Reach Out To Me :)

E-Mail: [email protected]

► Hi, my name is Robert! I make videos about how to build stable, secure relationships without losing yourself or waiting forever for the “perfect” partner. :)

► Disclaimer: None of the contents are therapeutic or medical recommendations. The contents are not to be understood as therapeutic-medical instructions and are neither intended as professional health advice nor as education.

I am not a health professional myself. My content is based on research and my personal experiences working with various therapists as a client for three years.

► Build secure relationships without losing yourself: https://understandable.net (ad)

Welcome to today's episode! In this video I explain why avoidants return and what's the best way to respond to their come back.

► Links and Resources:

Why Avoidants Don’t Know What They Need Video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=YoerBrHSdUI

Adult Survivors of Childhood Trauma Paper: https://www1.racgp.org.au/getattachment/79710ca4-e98e-46aa-8f8f-d5f763ea8ef4/Adult-survivors-of-childhood-trauma.aspx

► Subscribe On Your Favorite Platform!

YouTube: ⁠https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCGiJdF0yeTyRJanW_uSICDw?sub_confirmation=1⁠

Spotify: ⁠https://open.spotify.com/show/2gaheQLxBwByM9txVzlpI6

Apple Podcasts: ⁠https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/understandable/id1399616905

Amazon Music: ⁠https://music.amazon.de/podcasts/ee3580cb-61c5-4aa1-9ad4-1204014078e7/understandable⁠

► Episode Timestamps:

00:00 Introduction

00:43 The Impact of Your Response

02:39 Why Avoidants Pull Away

06:09 Why They Return

08:26 The Reality of Love

11:27 Responding to Their Return

15:45 Focusing on Yourself

18:12 Breaking the Cycle

20:01 Final Thoughts

► Reach Out To Me :)

E-Mail: [email protected]

► Hi, my name is Robert! I make videos about how to build stable, secure relationships without losing yourself or waiting forever for the “perfect” partner. :)

► Disclaimer: None of the contents are therapeutic or medical recommendations. The contents are not to be understood as therapeutic-medical instructions and are neither intended as professional health advice nor as education.

I am not a health professional myself. My content is based on research and my personal experiences working with various therapists as a client for three years.

► Build secure relationships without losing yourself: https://understandable.net (ad)

Welcome to today's episode! In this very personal video I share with you why avoidants never fight for a relationship.

► Links and Resources:

Deactivation Video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fi-wUf36e9k&t=1s

► Subscribe On Your Favorite Platform!

YouTube: ⁠https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCGiJdF0yeTyRJanW_uSICDw?sub_confirmation=1⁠

Spotify: ⁠https://open.spotify.com/show/2gaheQLxBwByM9txVzlpI6

Apple Podcasts: ⁠https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/understandable/id1399616905

Amazon Music: ⁠https://music.amazon.de/podcasts/ee3580cb-61c5-4aa1-9ad4-1204014078e7/understandable⁠

► Episode Timestamps:

00:00 Introduction

02:32 Flaw Finding Mechanism

06:11 Unrealistic Relationship Expectations

10:19 Overwhelmed by Closeness

13:22 Internal Emotional Withdrawal

19:16 Lack of Relationship Skills

20:43 Defiance and Protection

23:16 How to Respond

► Reach Out To Me :)

E-Mail: [email protected]

► Hi, my name is Robert! I make videos about how to build stable, secure relationships without losing yourself or waiting forever for the “perfect” partner. :)

► Disclaimer: None of the contents are therapeutic or medical recommendations. The contents are not to be understood as therapeutic-medical instructions and are neither intended as professional health advice nor as education.

I am not a health professional myself. My content is based on research and my personal experiences working with various therapists as a client for three years.

► Build secure relationships without losing yourself: https://understandable.net (ad)

Welcome to today's episode! In this video I talk about why almost all avoidants come back after no contact. And why emotionally unavailable people are so addicted to no contact!

► Links and Resources:

Why No Contact Doesn’t Work Video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=A9xqR6zfBIk

The Moment I Decided to Change Video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NkVmvMkZUI4

► Subscribe On Your Favorite Platform!

YouTube: ⁠https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCGiJdF0yeTyRJanW_uSICDw?sub_confirmation=1⁠

Spotify: ⁠https://open.spotify.com/show/2gaheQLxBwByM9txVzlpI6

Apple Podcasts: ⁠https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/understandable/id1399616905

Amazon Music: ⁠https://music.amazon.de/podcasts/ee3580cb-61c5-4aa1-9ad4-1204014078e7/understandable⁠

► Episode Timestamps:

00:00 Introduction

01:59 Understanding No Contact

05:02 The Magic Effect

09:39 Two Avoidant Groups

13:35 Responding to Returns

16:54 Breaking the Cycle

20:38 Conclusion

► Reach Out To Me :)

E-Mail: [email protected]

► Hi, my name is Robert! I make videos about how to build stable, secure relationships without losing yourself or waiting forever for the “perfect” partner. :)

► Disclaimer: None of the contents are therapeutic or medical recommendations. The contents are not to be understood as therapeutic-medical instructions and are neither intended as professional health advice nor as education.

I am not a health professional myself. My content is based on research and my personal experiences working with various therapists as a client for three years.

► Build secure relationships without losing yourself: https://understandable.net (ad)Welcome to today's episode! In this video I share from my own avoidant's perspective what your avoidant ex secretly wants during no contact.► Subscribe On Your Favorite Platform! YouTube: ⁠https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCGiJdF0yeTyRJanW_uSICDw?sub_confirmation=1⁠ Spotify: ⁠https://open.spotify.com/show/2gaheQLxBwByM9txVzlpI6 Apple Podcasts: ⁠https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/understandable/id1399616905 Amazon Music: ⁠https://music.amazon.de/podcasts/ee3580cb-61c5-4aa1-9ad4-1204014078e7/understandable⁠ ► Episode Timestamps:00:00 Introduction01:55 1. Desire for Reconnection04:49 2. Testing Availability06:53 3. Fighting for Them09:36 4. Explaining What Went Wrong10:58 5. Desire for Independence12:56 6. Seeking Emotional Calm15:15 7. The Need for Acceptance17:40 Focusing on Your Growth► Reach Out To Me :)E-Mail: [email protected]► Hi, my name is Robert! I make videos about how to build stable, secure relationships without losing yourself or waiting forever for the “perfect” partner. :)► Disclaimer: None of the contents are therapeutic or medical recommendations. The contents are not to be understood as therapeutic-medical instructions and are neither intended as professional health advice nor as education.I am not a health professional myself. My content is based on research and my personal experiences working with various therapists as a client for three years.

► Build secure relationships without losing yourself: https://understandable.net (ad)

Welcome to today's episode! In this video I describe the exact moment when avoidants realize you're not coming back. And I reflect on how to move on with more ease.

► Links and Resources:

The Stages of an Avoidant Coming Back Video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=PVuzwMjflyk&t=1s

The Moment I Decided to Change Video: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NkVmvMkZUI4&t=1s

► Subscribe On Your Favorite Platform!

YouTube: ⁠https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCGiJdF0yeTyRJanW_uSICDw?sub_confirmation=1⁠

Spotify: ⁠https://open.spotify.com/show/2gaheQLxBwByM9txVzlpI6

Apple Podcasts: ⁠https://podcasts.apple.com/gb/podcast/understandable/id1399616905

Amazon Music: ⁠https://music.amazon.de/podcasts/ee3580cb-61c5-4aa1-9ad4-1204014078e7/understandable⁠

► Episode Timestamps:

00:00 Introduction

01:42 Relationship Dynamics

05:45 The Breakup Experience

09:28 No Contact Phase

11:53 The Avoidant's Internal Model

16:29 Moment of Realization

21:46 Moving On and Boundaries

24:55 Strengthening Your Self-Worth

► Reach Out To Me :)

E-Mail: [email protected]

► Hi, my name is Robert! I make videos about how to build stable, secure relationships without losing yourself or waiting forever for the “perfect” partner. :)

► Disclaimer: None of the contents are therapeutic or medical recommendations. The contents are not to be understood as therapeutic-medical instructions and are neither intended as professional health advice nor as education.

I am not a health professional myself. My content is based on research and my personal experiences working with various therapists as a client for three years.