Why We So Often Feel Justified—and Why Anger Steals Our Peace

1 Peter 2:23 “When he was abused, he did not return abuse; when he suffered, he did not threaten; but he entrusted himself to the one who judges justly.”

Offense usually begins with something real, but staying offended slowly costs us our freedom.

When we’re offended, it’s not because we’re imagining things. Someone said something hurtful. Someone dismissed us. Someone didn’t see us, respect us, or protect us the way they should have. Our bodies react before our faith does. That reaction—tightness, anger, defensiveness—feels justified because it is trying to protect us. The problem isn’t that offense shows up. The problem is what happens when we let it stay.

Offense convinces us that holding onto anger is necessary for self-respect, safety, or justice. It whispers, “If I let this go, I’m saying it didn’t matter.” But over time, instead of protecting us, offense begins to imprison us. It narrows our thinking, drains our peace, and keeps us emotionally tied to the very thing that hurt us.

Today, I invite us to gently notice this pattern without shame. Not to rush into forgiveness. Not to minimize pain. Just to ask an honest question:
Is what I’m holding onto actually helping me live free?

Jesus never promised that we wouldn’t be hurt. But He did promise freedom—freedom from bitterness, from constant reactivity, and from carrying wounds longer than necessary. Jesus reminds us:

“I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world, you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” (John 16:33)  

And He also promises:

“So if the Son sets you free, you will be free indeed.” (John 8:36)

Today isn’t about fixing anything or forcing forgiveness. It’s about awareness—learning to notice how offense quietly operates in our hearts and recognizing that something can feel justified even when it doesn't actually lead us toward peace or life. When we’re hurt, our body reacts first. Before we can think theologically or spiritually, our nervous system scans for danger. A sharp tone, a dismissive comment, or a betrayal registers as a threat, and anger shows up quickly because it’s one of the body’s built-in protection responses. Anger creates energy. It gives us clarity. It helps us draw boundaries. In that sense, it *feels* helpful.

This is why offense feels justified. Anger convinces us that we’re doing something necessary—that we’re standing up for ourselves, protecting our dignity, or guarding our hearts. It often feels morally right, especially when real harm has occurred. We tell ourselves, *“I’m not just upset—I’m right.”* And because something truly wrong may have happened, that belief can feel deeply convincing.

But what the book *Unoffendable* by Brent Hansen gently reveals is that feeling justified is not the same as becoming free. Anger is excellent at getting our attention, but it’s terrible at leading us toward peace. When we hold onto it, anger doesn’t just respond to the moment—it begins to shape our inner world. It keeps our minds alert and our hearts guarded. We replay what happened, brace for future harm, and stay emotionally on edge. Over time, that vigilance becomes exhausting.

This is how anger tightens its grip on our peace. What started as a moment of protection turns into a posture of defensiveness. Instead of resting, we stay watchful. Instead of trusting, we stay reactive. And slowly, without realizing it, offense begins to occupy more space in our thoughts, prayers, and relationships than we ever intended.

Letting go feels risky because anger has convinced us it’s keeping us safe. Releasing it can feel like saying the hurt didn’t matter—or like leaving ourselves unprotected. But Jesus offers a different way. He never framed righteousness as reacting quickly or holding onto offense. He modeled righteousness as trust, surrender, and love rooted in truth rather than impulse. He promises that we don’t need to carry the weight of offense to be whole. “When he was abused, he did not return abuse; when he suffered, he did not threaten; but he entrusted himself to the one who judges justly.”  (1 Peter 2:23)

I am not asking us to deny pain or rush forgiveness. I simply invite us to ask an honest question: **Is what feels right actually leading me toward life and peace—or is it quietly becoming a prison?**

Dear Heavenly Father, I ask you to bless all those listening to this episode today. Help us to look at our own lives and see where offense might be keeping us prisoners. Helps us to notice where anger might have been justified at first, and now holding onto that anger is just hurting us. Help us to see why it itsn’t helpful to keep replaying the hurt that we felt over and over again in our minds. Help us to let go, Lord. Help us to forgive. We ask all of this in accordance with your will and in Jesus’s holy name, Amen.

Thank you so much for joining me on this journey to walk boldly with Jesus. If you are interested in learning more about how to go through life being Unoffendable, I invite you to join the mentoring this month. I will be exploring the main concepts of the book Unoffendable by Brent Hansen. It is a really good book that explains how much more peace and freedom we will have in our lives when we learn how to be unoffendable. CLICK HERE to check out mentoring. It is just $25 a month if you join this week. I look forward to meeting you here again tomorrow. Remember, Jesus loves you just as you are, and so do I! God is on your side, and we are both rooting for you, always! Have a blessed day.

Today’s Word from the Lord was received in September 2025 by a member of my Catholic Charismatic Prayer Group. If you have any questions about the prayer group, these words, or how to join us for a meeting, please email [email protected]. Today’s Word from the Lord is, “Sometimes I have to remind you because I see you slipping, and I won't allow you to fall. I will steady you. I will return your balance to you. When the world is encroaching, when the world is pressing in on you, I'm right there. I’m right there.”

www.findingtruenorthcoaching.com

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