Why Will No One Date These Guys?

We gots more romantic media to gush about in an effort to distract ourselves from how hot it is outside and how horrible the content was in the last couple of episodes. Ah, suppressing our feelings in order to continue to do our job. Is there a more American thing?

This time we discuss the manga "The Guy She Was Interested in Wasn't a Guy at All!," the reality series "Ultimatum: Queer Love," the romantic sci-fi/fantasy drama "The Fountain," the bondage-themed tv series "Bonding," the rebooted Wolfenstein videogame series, the teen romance series' "The Summer I Turned Pretty" and "Never Have I Ever," the hacker/anarchist tv series "Mr Robot," the Victorian drama "Queen Charlotte," the visual novel/adventure game "Overboard," the walking sim "Gone Home," and the DOOM mod "myhouse.wad."

All credit to Carly Rae Jepsen for use of "Run Away With Me."

This month we made a donation to a trans rights org supporting trans individuals fleeing states where their existence is being outlawed. There are a lot of groups doing good work like this: take a look at your community. 

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Knock, knock. It's another episode about a book Joel and Naomi hate and aren't giving up on because we think flaking on things is uncool despite the impact discussing this is having on our sibling relationship and mental health. Only positive impacts, we swear.

In the second part of chapter 5 we explore Aaron/Myron's weird attempts to prove women have less romantic interest in men than men have in women. We look at his compelling evidence, which ranges from outdated data analyses without methodologies or sample sizes to...also outdated data analyses that disprove the very assertions he's trying to make. We also discuss the research behind what men and women look for on dating apps, his idea that women have uniquely unrealistic standards (something, he, as a 30-something man only pursuing 20-something women who will put up with his schtick would know nothing about), and his weird belief that tattoos make women less attractive. We guess we can add tattoos and piercing to the other 50 things women can't do if they want to uphold the so-called "Old Contract."

Joel cites a book about women's history in the US around the 45 minute mark and gets the title wrong. It is "America"s Women" by Gail Collins. Great read and something we may talk about on a later episode. Find a copy here. 

We're not linking to places you can buy this book. Go support your local library.

This month we made a donation to a trans rights org supporting trans individuals fleeing states where their existence is being outlawed. There are a lot of groups doing good work like this: take a look at your community. 

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Trust your eyes, true believers, we built in a reprieve from the worst book ever written! What's more, it's one where we mix things up and discuss things Naomi and Joel actually like!

We've done a lot of belly-aching about bad media so we put together some lists of good romantic media we've actually enjoyed in the last few years.  Major spoilers ahead for a lot of these properties, but it's our contention that a lot of this media is enjoyable for the experience, not just the plot beats. We discuss the article Everyone is Beautiful and No One is Horny, the romance present in MCU films, the romance novel Hook, Line, and Sinker, Ewan McGregor's 2010 romcom Beginners, the George Clooney/Julia Roberts romcom Ticket to Paradise as well as their relationship in the Ocean's trilogy, the manga series Fullmetal Alchemist, the romcom You People, the Maniac tv series, the breakup romcom Someone Great, the tv series Bojack Horseman, the long-distance romcom Your Place or Mine, the sorta-like-a-romcom film Nacho Libre,  and the comic series Sex Criminals.  This is part one of a multi-part series; we have a lot of ground to cover in future installments. 

Naomi also reveals a shocking secret 2/3 of the way through: if you're following Guy-family drama closely, you don't want to miss this. 

This month we made a donation to a trans rights org supporting trans individuals fleeing states where their existence is being outlawed. There are a lot of groups doing good work like this: take a look at your community. 

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We have different and new content coming soon. That said, why do you need different content than a 100-part debunking of a 93-page book? We're learning a lot about relationships just by debunking this BS: come on, pull up a chair and learn with us. 

In part 5 we're still finding new untruths to debunk, ranging from reiteration of age-old claims about alpha/beta male dynamics (they don't exist), the claim that all young women go to college only so they can avoid dating unattractive men, the really weird claim that since more women have passed on their genes than men they must be less interested in men than men are in them,  and the claim women have far less interest in sex than men (supported with some of the most dishonest and poorly used stats thus far). If you've ever felt like your grasp of statistics or your overall literacy is poor, listen to this ep; after hearing some of the junk this dude puts out into the world, you'll never doubt your capabilities again. 

We're not linking to places you can buy this book. Go support your local library.

This month we made a donation to a trans rights org supporting trans individuals fleeing states where their existence is being outlawed. There are a lot of groups doing good work like this: take a look at your community. 

Support the show

We're still not misogynists, we swear. Reporting on sexist assholes is not the same as endorsing their viewpoints. 

Here it is, part two of chapter four of a book that could also be called "The Neverending Story." Geez, you'd think 90 pages wouldn't feel so long but we're less than halfway through once we finish this. Truly incredible to see how much misinformation can be packed into one text. It's like those researchers who write novels on DNA, or whatever. 

In the second part of chapter four we wrap up discussing Aaron/Myron's arguments against the "New Contract." Using a combination of additional research and Myron's own citations we explain why marriages appear to be stronger than ever under the "new system" of dating, why divorce rate stats are wildly misleading and evidence indicates younger people are most likely to stay married, why young people having less sex is not a sign of the apocalypse, and how one can properly use the term Catch-22 in order to not appear like an idiot trying to look smart.  

WE DO DISCUSS SOME HEAVY STUFF like Domestic Violence and Assault and Racism. We're pretty good about giving a heads up in the episode itself, just wanted you to know if that's a dealbreaker.

We're not linking to places you can buy this book. Go support your local library.

 This month we made a donation to a trans rights org supporting trans individuals fleeing states where their existence is being outlawed. There are a lot of groups doing good work like this: take a look at your community. 

Support the show

We're not misogynists, we swear.

We're back with part 3 of this cursed text which is part Necronomicon, part screenplay for Idiocracy. This covers the first part of Chapter 4, not because Chapter 4 is long, but because nearly every single thing he says is wrong in ways that would embarrass a novice highschool debater. In this part he tries to explain why the "New Contract" of dating is bad, but both fails to articulate a coherent definition of what the contract entails and makes up a bunch of bs to support his stupidity. We discuss which gender actually relied on the other throughout recorded human history (it was probably men),  why defending capitalism for liberating women makes no sense, the decisions that created the modern welfare state, why there's no tie between "women's liberation" and welfare states, and why taking advice from rightwing pornstar grifters is a bad idea. And again, that's just the first part of the chapter.  

WE DO DISCUSS SOME HEAVY STUFF like Domestic Violence and Assault and Porn Star stats. We're pretty good about giving a heads up in the episode itself, just wanted you to know if that's a deal breaker.

We're not linking to places you can buy this book. Go support your local library.

 This month we made a donation to a trans rights org supporting trans individuals fleeing states where their existence is being outlawed. There are a lot of groups doing good work like this.

Support the show

Today we are joined by the amazing, Miss Jai. We are here to discuss trans rights as well as learn more about Miss Jai. Miss Jai is known as a public speaker. She specializes is teaching the healthcare world more about how to support, treat and understand our transgender and non binary friends.

You can find Miss Jai online at askmissjai.com, on Instagram @askmissjai, and on linkedin @missjai.

Miss Jai had a lot of suggestions for trans causes you can support. There are links to each below.

Trans Empowerment Initiative in Kenya supports trans youth in places where being queer can be a death sentence. 

Lambda Legal provides legal resources for queer individuals and fights anti-gay legislation in court.

National Center for Trans Equality provides detailed information about transgender and non-binary individuals as well as lobbies for more progressive legislation.

Locally, the Thornhill Lopez Center in Tucson and the One in Ten Chapter in Phoenix provide sexual education and resources for queer youth. Both are looking for donations and volunteers. 

This month we made a donation to activist Erin Reed's substack, which is doing an amazing job tracking and drawing attention to trans legislation.  Not to be bleak or anything, but we're in a genocide right now, y'all. Send her some money here. 

Support the show

We're back for part two of Joel explaining why this book is one of the worst dating/pickup artist/misogynist pamphlets he's ever read. Not sure that he should have spent multiple weekends of his life reading anthropology papers to discount the assertions of a guy who thinks human civilization is 200k years old, but we all have to get our kicks somewhere. Also, since reading rightwing literature is now most of our show, we updated our logo accordingly. 

In part two we discuss Chapter 3 of the text where Myron/Aaron attempts to explain what the "Old Contract" of human relationships looked like and how Myron thinks modern women have ruined everything. As you might expect there's a laughable amount of "appeal to nature" fallacies, lots of references to women being no better than prostitutes,  and assertions about human history and biology that most people with a highschool education would be able to disprove. But since the audience for this is probably middle school boys, maybe that's sufficient?

WE DO DISCUSS SOME HEAVY STUFF like Domestic Violence and Assault and Racism. We're pretty good about giving a heads up in the episode itself, just wanted you to know if that's a dealbreaker.

We're not linking to places you can buy this book. Go support your local library.

 This month we made a donation to activist Erin Reed's substack, which is doing an amazing job tracking and drawing attention to trans legislation.  Not to be bleak or anything, but we're in a genocide right now, y'all. Send her some money here. 

Support the show

We thought we've reached rock-bottom when reading dating culture books before, but somehow we broke through and found a new bedrock of low-quality dreck to discuss. Unfortunately, this one is perhaps the most popular dating book in the world right now and far far too many people have already read it and walked away with some of the worst hot takes ever put to paper. 

This is part one of a multi-part critique of Myron Gaines' first (and hopefully last) manifesto. There is so much wrong with every assertion in this book that we might spend anywhere between 5 and 10 1-hour episodes breaking down his claims. This part explores the background of the author's podcast and how this got written, the horrible formatting and scam that is the length, the possibility Myron didn't actually write this, and the nonsense contained within the first two chapters. Buckle up. 

We're not linking to places you can buy this book. Go support your local library.

 This month we made a donation to activist Erin Reed's substack, which is doing an amazing job tracking and drawing attention to trans legislation.  Not to be bleak or anything, but we're in a genocide right now, y'all. Send her some money here. 

Support the show

Joel and Naomi get together on our two year anniversary to catch up on the dating/relationships of some prior guests, reflect upon our successes and failures, and plan out the future of the pod. Like most episodes, Joel also finds a way to torment his sister. But like, in a celebratory sense.

The closing song is Bruce Springsteen's Glory Days. The content of the song bears absolutely no resemblance to the Guy family's views on their podcast. 

This month we made a donation to activist Erin Reed's substack, which is doing an amazing job tracking and drawing attention to trans legislation.  Not to be bleak or anything, but we're in a genocide right now, y'all. Send her some money here. 

Support the show