Wild and Precious Conversations

Recovery — Stephanie Bonastia is an intuitive eating coach who thought she could never feel sane around food — that she was “broken” and unfixable…what she discovered and what she shares in our conversation and in her practice is life changing and hope full. From her website:

Life opens up to you. Creativity, passion, and purpose is a part of healing. Find what lights you up.

Our conversation covered classism, racism, shame — and processing our shame, mindfulness and integrating our dark and light sides.

About mindfulness, we talk about how “mindfulness” has kinda been co-opted by the diet and wellness industry and Stephanie takes down that way of “rule based” mindfulness and describes the practice of true mindfulness around food and approaching eating.

If you have ever struggled with binge eating and that feeling that you might never be able to just feel comfortable around food again, give this conversation a listen…you might just enjoy your holiday dinners.

Notes:

* Fearing The Black Body — Book mentioned in the conversation around the historic origins of “thinness as a goal”

* I Am Stephanie Michelle — Binge recovery and body image coaching

* Wild and Precious Patreon — Contribute if you feel like it. Or don’t - that is more than okay!

* Wild and Precious Newsletter

* Wild and Precious Blog

Onward. As we heal the otherness in us, in our communities, in our world.

The Underbelly Project: Visit us at underbel.li

If you enjoyed this conversation, a small ask: Share with anyone you know who might like what we’re doing over here. Excited to stay in the arena with you.

Good Enough — Welcome to a Wild and Precious conversation replay where I tell a story about a “Good Enough” life and give some ideas for how you can get one of your own.

I forgot about using this photo. I needed one of me and took this with my phone as I was working. Why I look so surprised (and a little bemused, maybe?)

For this week — as my young adults return from school, my youngest is busy running from work to school to cello to — whatever — and I feel like a full time listener to a litany of “good enough” angsts, I actually decided I would replay my most popular episode.

And…I was a little surprised that is this one. In a lot of ways, understanding “good enough” or “perfectly imperfect” is core to this project, and what I hope for all of us. In any case, enjoy!

I began by diving into Winnicott and his ideas about the “good enough” care giver. What that means, why we mostly unfortunately didn’t have “good enough” parents and probably weren’t good enough parents ourselves. Also 1000% no shade to parents — first, we’re all in the same boat, trying to follow the latest expert advice rather than our “good enough” inner voice. And second, we know about this thing called resilience. We can learn to be “good enough” at any age.

What I talked about:

* First, Who was Winnicott and what was his message — and why was it so counter culture? What was the prevailing message for how to parent?

* Second, What happens when we don’t have “good enough” parents?

* Third, Okay — Great. What can we do to become “good enough”?

* Fourth, I tell a really inspiring story about a “good enough” person. I really hope that when you hear this story you will be inspired to do the work to become “good enough”.

Notes:

* Winnicott — Really good article about him, his radio broadcasts and the time that he lived in.

* Caroline McHugh — The Art of Being Yourself

* Chiune Sugihara — A good enough person.

Onward! Look for the Monday morning newsletter, and a conversation from the Wild and Precious podcast episode on Thursday.

I would love to hear from you! I’m really passionate about all of us living “good enough” lives. What do you do in your life to stay true to yourself? What do you need more of? What, if anything, can I do to help? Honestly, if you let me know and I know of a resource, I’ll send it your way. Thank you!

The Underbelly Project: A weekly workout for your emotional strength and flexibility. If you’re not afraid to get dusty and maybe shed a few tears together, join me and let’s get emotionally strong!

And please, if you know anyone who might like to share this journey, share this project. Subscribe/rate/review at Apple podcasts — or Spotify, or Stitcher, or wherever you listen to podcasts. Excited to stay in the arena with you.

Response — Rebecca Hunter went to Fairy Creek to help in the kitchen. While there, she saw sadistic, cruel and unnecessary violence on the part of people whose sole job is to protect and serve.

She saw this. Now what?

That’s what we’re talking about in this two-part episode of Wild and Precious Conversations.

This week we continue but focus on what we can do.

I’ve been noticing a lot of writing on staying numb. It’s nuanced. We don’t have to jump in on every situation that is unbalanced in the world. To have strong boundaries and know when something “is not yours” is super important.

But there are times in our lives when something is handed to us — and we can no longer look away.

Staying numb, I think, is when something has been gifted to you and you still choose to try to look away. Go shopping. Drink. Gamble.

And — Even here — I think it’s an absolutely reasonable response much of the time. There is a need for rest. And sometimes, our bodies force us into “rest” by offering us maladaptive ways of resting. And for a time, these are vital. It’s the basis for the harm reduction strategy.

But — there are times when we feel we need to take action. And for those times, what can we do?

This conversation offers a few ideas — and they can be boiled down to two main things:

Maintain a curious stance and start conversations <= not debates but conversations.

Have a listen and do let us know your thoughts.

Notes:

* Story in The National Observer

* Video of teen in tripod — Video mentioned in podcast of the teen tumbling 15 feet to the earth in a sleeping bag and then roughly arrested with no check that he’s in good health.

* Poll showing 90% of British Columbias support protecting old growth

* Wild and Precious Patreon — Contribute if you feel like it. Or don’t - that is more than okay!

* Wild and Precious Newsletter

* Wild and Precious Blog

Onward. As we heal the otherness in us, in our communities, in our world.

The Underbelly Project: Visit us at underbel.li

If you enjoyed this conversation, a small ask: Share with anyone you know who might like what we’re doing over here. Excited to stay in the arena with you.

Action — Rebecca Hunter went to Fairy Creek to help in the kitchen. The first morning there, RCMP raided the camp, arrested first only people of color (skipping over the young white women in the peaceful protest line) and wrecked havoc at the camp, taking pictures of their post-wrecking and lying to the public saying that the disarray was caused by the land defenders themselves, being the reason they needed to arrest them.

She saw all of this. Now what?

That’s what we’re talking about in this two-part episode of Wild and Precious Conversations.

It’s Becca’s story and I stand with her - it takes great courage to tell such a personal story and to do so without prejudice. Both of us have witnessed extraordinary cruelty and immature behaviour by people in authoritative leadership positions this year and we are both trying to make sense of it.

Neither of us is super mainstream :) We homeschooled our kids together in this lovely mountain town we live in, known for its progressive politics.

At the same time, we’re both basically tea drinking, slightly salty, middle aged women who care deeply about the planet we’re leaving to our children and also would rather just get on with our lives — preferably, I think, with more adults in the room (I guess that is my interpretation. Not 100% sure if Becca agrees.)

This conversation is her sharing, in full, what she saw at Fairy Creek this summer. It’s violent, with blatant racism and compromised behaviour on the part of the RCMP working there.

Because British Colombians have paid $20 million so far to help Teal Jones, the logging company trying to extract old growth logs from Fairy Creek and Coastal GasLink, because over $1 million of the RCMPs pension is tied up in Teal Jones, and because 92% of British Colombians are apparently against this form of logging, we are confused by both the behaviour of the RCMP officers she saw at Fairy Creek (unfortunately, they don’t all wear their badges when they are doing this sort of thing, so we have to call out the entire profession instead of the officers who did these things.)

Have a listen and do let us know your thoughts.

Notes:

* Story in The National Observer

* Video of teen in tripod — Video mentioned in podcast of the teen tumbling 15 feet to the earth in a sleeping bag and then roughly arrested with no check that he’s in good health.

* Poll showing 90% of British Columbias support protecting old growth

* Wild and Precious Patreon — Contribute if you feel like it. Or don’t - that is more than okay!

* Wild and Precious Newsletter

* Wild and Precious Blog

Onward. As we heal the otherness in us, in our communities, in our world.

The Underbelly Project: Visit us at underbel.li

If you enjoyed this conversation, a small ask: Share with anyone you know who might like what we’re doing over here. Excited to stay in the arena with you.

Otherness: What happens when we are bullied, isolated, left out and “othered” — let’s learn how to heal that part of us so we can move into “Togetherness”

I am so happy to have had a chance to talk with Dr. Stacee about her new book: The Healing Otherness Handbook.

Our conversation goes from speaking about how to muck around in the compost of our lives and do our small things to create more beauty — to how to free ourselves when we are in isolation — to Jewish faith and the idea of Tikkun — to transgender ideas and how we can adapt to more pronouns :) and just what a lovely, fluid moment we are in right now.

Notes:

* Dr. Stacee Reicherzer — Her website is full of resources and other good stuff.

* Dr. Stacee at TEDx — Taking Power Back from the COVID-19 Bully

* Wild and Precious Patreon — Contribute if you feel like it. Or don’t - that is more than okay!

* Wild and Precious Newsletter

* Wild and Precious Blog

Onward. As we heal the otherness in us, in our communities, in our world.

The Underbelly Project: Visit us at underbel.li

If you enjoyed this conversation, a small ask: Share with anyone you know who might like what we’re doing over here. Excited to stay in the arena with you.

Sustainability: Andrea and I know each other from homeschool days — we’ve seen each other at our most unsustainable and we’re still friends. Andrea runs a {gorgeous} sustainable lifestyle magazine called Trend Privé, so that is how this conversation started…

“The part that I think needs to be addressed is that it's totally okay to be overwhelmed and feel frustrated and really angry and hurt and sad that the powers that be have let us down or that we didn't realize earlier, or however it is that that's showing up for people, it's important to say:

Okay. That's okay.” — Andrea at the 46:00 mark

We're talking sustainability today.

Do you feel like you have a sustainable life?

Do you work for a sustainable company?

Do you have a sustainable family?

Do you feel like this earth is sustainable?

We start off talking about the magazine. And then into that idea of the fashion, beauty, wellness industries. They're not highly regulated industries. And so of all the places to start with sustainability. That's an interesting, challenging choice.

We discussed coveting money, whether or not that's a good idea. The TV show Maid — I added in a break so you can skip in case you haven’t seen it. There’s a mild spoiler — We talk about activism. We talk about my need for a punching bag. We talk about grandmothers chained to old growth forest trees 20 years ago. And what came of that? And we end with the idea that the house is on fire.

A little bit of it as a dramatic ending.

Enjoy. See what you think as usual. Love to hear from you. So please stay in touch. Give me feedback. I do plan on dropping these once a week. Again, we took a little hiatus while I was. Supporting a family member. And necessary hiatus, but I feel like we're back and ready to do the weekly drops.

Notes:

* Trend Privé Magazine— Sustainable Lifestyle Magazine.

* Wild and Precious Patreon — Contribute if you feel like it.

* Wild and Precious Newsletter — on Revue

* Wild and Precious Blog — at underbel.li

Onward. Toward a sustainable future.

The Underbelly Project: Visit us at underbel.li

If you enjoyed this conversation, a small ask: Share with anyone you know who might like what we’re doing over here.

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Organizing: We take on harm reduction, labour organizing, what happens if we succeed in dismantling capitalism, and why we need access to nature — Can we actually find labour that is not extractive but meaningful and fulfilling, and so. much. more!

So…next time you’re at Thanksgiving Dinner, why don’t you ask around and find out a little more about your cousins? Maybe you might have an activist sitting next to you?

My northern California cousin is in the Wild and Precious House this week — I feel really blessed / lucky to be able to talk with James Tracy, long-time social justice organizer in the San Francisco Bay Area. He is the founder of the San Francisco Community Land Trust and has been active in the Eviction Defense Network and the Coalition On Homelessness, SF. He has edited two activist handbooks for Manic D Press: The Civil Disobedience Handbook and The Military Draft Handbook. His articles have appeared in Left Turn, Race Poverty and the Environment, and Contemporary Justice Review.

He’s also in conversation at an event tomorrow night 7:00 PST through San Francisco State University called Roxanne Dunbar-Ortiz, Amy Sonnie and James Tracy, reading and in conversation.

This is the first part of what likely will be 3 part conversation on topics ranging from labour, organizing, working toward a just society and onward from there.

This stuff is important — wouldn’t it be lovely to start with ourselves, create functional families, and then…one day, live in functional communities? I think it’s possible. It all starts with us doing the necessary work to learn to love ourselves (even the mucky unlovable bits)

Notes:

* James Tracy Author — This is where it all starts.

* Linton Kwesi Johnson— Wow - singer mentioned in the podcast

* And Beauty for All

* Jeannie Little

* Sarah L. Jaffe

* Nancy Fraser

* Wild and Precious Patreon — Contribute if you feel like it. Or don’t - that is more than okay!

* Wild and Precious Newsletter

* Wild and Precious Blog

Onward. As we heal the otherness in us, in our communities, in our world.

The Underbelly Project: Visit us at underbel.li

If you enjoyed this conversation, a small ask: Share with anyone you know who might like what we’re doing over here. Excited to stay in the arena with you.

Otherness: What happens when we are bullied, isolated, left out and “othered” — let’s learn how to heal that part of us so we can move into “Togetherness”

New month, new podcast episode! I am so happy to have had a chance to talk with Dr. Stacee about her new book: The Healing Otherness Handbook.

Our conversation goes from speaking about how to muck around in the compost of our lives and do our small things to create more beauty — to how to free ourselves when we are in isolation — to Jewish faith and the idea of Tikkun — to transgender ideas and how we can adapt to more pronouns :) and just what a lovely, fluid moment we are in right now.

Notes:

* Dr. Stacee Reicherzer — Her website is full of resources and other good stuff.

* Dr. Stacee at TEDx — Taking Power Back from the COVID-19 Bully

* Wild and Precious Patreon — Contribute if you feel like it. Or don’t - that is more than okay!

* Wild and Precious Newsletter

* Wild and Precious Blog

Onward. As we heal the otherness in us, in our communities, in our world.

The Underbelly Project: Visit us at underbel.li

If you enjoyed this conversation, a small ask: Share with anyone you know who might like what we’re doing over here. Excited to stay in the arena with you.

Flourish: To get to flourish, you start with learning how to care — for yourself, your work colleagues, your neighbour.

This episode marks our return to podcasting. Season 2 let’s call it. Beginning in February, I needed to take a break due to a family situation. If you want to learn more, I have written about it here.

Wild and Precious Conversations returns today, however, with a conversation that will fill you with tools, enthusiasm, and motivation to create a more caring world where we can all flourish.

We talk about how hard it is to talk about, the grief that happens with diagnosis and how hard that is to process while holding down a job. We talk about how everyone benefits when we make work places more human.

We talk about suicide prevention and how important it is to know how to QPR. We talk about how important it is to have agency in your recovery and diagnosis managment. In other words, there are lots of ways to manage your illness/disorder. You need to work with your psychiatrist to find what works best for you.

We talk. This conversation is close to my heart and I am in deep deep appreciation.

Notes:

* Emily Morrison on Instagram @iloveyouspoon

* Emily Morrison on Twitter @iloveyouspoon

* Basic Information on Bipolar — from NIH

* Knox County Suicide Prevention Coalition

* QPR — Suicide Prevention

* Mental Health First Aid

* Early Assessment and Support Alliance

* ROSC oriented system of care — This is specifically geared toward substance use but I felt like it was well laid out and easy to understand.

* Wild and Precious Patreon — Yup - always a joy to make Wild + Precious Conversations happen and support is welcome. Support feels a bit like a hug sometimes, a high-five, a bit of confetti.

* Wild and Precious Newsletter

* Wild and Precious Blog

Onward. As we flourish.

The Underbelly Project: Visit us at underbel.li

If you enjoyed this conversation, a small ask: Share with anyone you know who might like what we’re doing over here. Excited to stay in the arena with you.

Refresh: I know I needed a refresh this week and so I am delighted to share this conversation with Reena Friedman Watts: Entrepreneur, podcaster, mom of four kids, wife, coach, community grower, storytelling junkie.

You’ll want to listen for the recurring chorus of fail better, keep doing your best, tell your story, your voice matters, shine on.

Reena’s podcast is called Better Call Daddy, and, yes, it turns out that her daddy is her talisman, her go-to in the times she needs a boost, and her champion. It was so heartwarming and a huge boost to hear about her relationship with her daddy.

We also connected over our knowledge of Los Angeles culture — which anyone from Los Angeles will agree is a bit different. I have lived in so many different places, none compares to Los Angeles.

(Sidenote: Go LA - doing a great job getting the population vaccinated. Amazing roll out!)

Near the end of our conversation Reena shared a great vignette about acceptance and the need to know when to keep going. The recording cut out the first bit, so that’s a bit awkward. I introduce it at around the 25 minute mark, so listen for that.

Notes:

* Reena on LinkedIn

* Better Call Daddy

* Reena on Instagram

Onward. Refreshed:

The Underbelly Project: A weekly workout for your emotional strength and flexibility. If you’re not afraid to get dusty and maybe laugh a bit together, join me and let’s get emotionally strong.

If you enjoyed this conversation, a small ask: Share with anyone you know who might like what we’re doing over here. Excited to stay in the arena with you.