Wild Obedience Man

🎙️ Crumb Confessional — Episode 12

Title: When the Lion Hurts the Lamb: Confessing What I Said to My Wife

Description:

This isn’t theory. This is confession.

I got in a fight with my wife last night. It was my fault. And this voice note is a raw unpacking of what happened, why I blew up, what I’ve learned—and where I saw Jesus show up in the wreckage.

I talk about:

• The old anger that still haunts me
• The moment I flipped to Luke 11 and read about spirits returning
• The toxic trap of putting spiritual expectations on your spouse
• Why “leading” without gentleness isn’t leadership—it’s control
• The war between the lion and the lamb inside every husband
• And the painful, holy grace of making real promises and praying for help keeping them

This is one of the most personal episodes to date. No mask. Just repentance, restoration, and a prayer for transformation.

🔥 Highlights & Timestamps:

• 00:30 – Fight recap: same pattern, same pride, but a new layer of humility
• 02:10 – Luke 11:24-26 and the fear of relapse into old spiritual ruts
• 03:00 – Quick apologies vs. slow decay: choosing confession over couch pride
• 04:20 – Why we hurt those we love most—and what Jesus would do instead
• 06:00 – The danger of projecting your walk with God onto your wife
• 07:20 – Misusing the Bible as a hammer instead of a covering
• 08:15 – Confessing the difference between Christlike love and cultural conditioning
• 10:00 – The lion vs. the lamb: which version of Christ are you imitating at home?
• 11:45 – Final prayer for healing, peace, and traveling home as a unified family

🧠 Core Takeaway:
“You can weaponize the Bible and call it love. But if it’s crushing her instead of covering her—it’s not Christ.”
📖 Scriptures Directly/Indirectly Referenced:

• Luke 11:24–26 – The return of the unclean spirit
• Ephesians 5:25 – “Husbands, love your wives as Christ loved the church…”
• 1 Peter 3:7 – “Husbands, live with your wives in an understanding way…”
• 2 Corinthians 12:9 – “My power is made perfect in weakness.”
• Lamentations 3:23 – “His mercies are new every morning.”

💔 Confessed Lies (Spoken or Unspoken):

• “She should be spiritually where I am.”
• “Harshness can still be holy.”
• “I’m leading when I’m really controlling.”
• “I’m helping, even if I’m hurting.”

Closing Line:

Crumb Confessional #12 — sometimes leadership looks like kneeling. This one’s for the husbands still being sanctified. You’re not alone. But you are accountable.

🎙️ Crumb Confessional — Episode 11

Title: From Baby Girls to AI Doomscrolls (and Everything In Between)

Description:

It’s 4:30 AM. I’m supposed to be taking a 4-hour security course so I can legally exit the ship in two days. But before that, I needed to dump my brain, heart, and spirit into this confessional.

Today’s voice note covers:

• The birth of my niece (surprise-spoiled by my mom 😅)
• A house visit with no electricity, but full of ginger beer and family
• A surreal community college classroom clash where the professor refused to leave
• A student breaking into tears over abandonment—and finding healing in mustard seed hope
• 6+ hours of AI research that left me with equal parts dread and awe
• And the bizarre emotional whiplash of living between Sierra Leone’s poverty and Silicon Valley’s predictions

This episode is what it looks like to be a man stuck between two timelines, two kingdoms, and two worlds—trying to stay faithful in both.

🔥 Highlights & Timestamps:

• 00:30 – Surprise baby girl! Welcome, Hallie
• 01:45 – The ginger beer hilltop visit: James' mountain-side home and joyful chaos
• 04:20 – Classroom mutiny: lecturer won’t leave, we get kicked out of our paid room
• 06:00 – Social work students + mustard seed tears = unexpected Kingdom moment
• 08:45 – WhatsApp as the most powerful tool in West Africa (and maybe CRUMB's future)
• 10:10 – Deep dive into AI predictions, danger, and the next 2–5 years of global disruption
• 13:30 – What happens when you're between a mountain village and Mars-level tech?
• 15:00 – Wrapping up with memory card hunts, birthday saxophones, and a surreal sense of peace

🧠 Core Takeaway:
“I spent the morning in a village with no electricity… and the night absorbing predictions of AI ending civilization as we know it. Somewhere in between, Jesus is still King.”
📖 Underlying Scriptures + Themes:

• Matthew 6:34 — “Do not worry about tomorrow…”
• Ecclesiastes 3 — A time for everything…
• Psalm 24:1 — “The earth is the Lord’s and everything in it.”
• James 1:5 — Wisdom for the walking tension

Closing Line:

Crumb Confessional #11 — from baby girl joy to end-of-world tech dread… the Kingdom still advances, one surrendered day at a time.

🎙️ Crumb Confessional — Episode 10

Title: Hidden Sin, AI Confession, and a Baby on the Way

Description:

This one’s a swirl—half soul spill, half update, and fully real.

In this voice note, recorded at 5:08 AM while staring at the trash-speckled Atlantic behind the Global Mercy, I share what’s been weighing heavy on my heart:

• The rush of our final prep before heading back to Cincinnati
• The emotional weight of my sister about to give birth (as I recorded)
• My brother’s bold step toward fighting human trafficking
• And the 9 unspoken sins I asked AI to help me name—yes, really.

You’ll hear what it’s like to walk through confession, call out hidden lies, and name what’s still controlling me in the dark—while trusting God to break chains and fill what’s exposed.

This episode isn’t flashy. It’s spiritual surgery.

🔥 Highlights & Timestamps:

• 00:30 – Getting ready to leave Sierra Leone: travel chaos, ministry transition, packing
• 01:15 – My sister is having a baby right now 😳
• 02:15 – Proud of my brother David: his letter to the Tim Tebow Foundation
• 04:10 – What’s the Cruthood? The micro brotherhood behind CRUMB
• 05:20 – The AI-generated list of my 9 hidden sins (and why it rocked me)
• 06:50 – Why using AI for spiritual reflection isn’t weird to me
• 08:10 – The healing power of confession—not just to God, but to others
• 09:35 – Final prayers and an ask: lift up my family, CRUMB, and this movement

💥 9 Hidden Sins (Named in the Episode):

1. Performance addiction
2. Controlled by strategy
3. Resentment toward God’s silence
4. Secret comparison
5. Judgment of the church
6. Cynical protection of pain
7. Bitterness toward my old self
8. The lie that scars make me holy
9. The lie that God will use me only if I fix myself first

🧠 Core Takeaway:
“When you name sin, you break its grip. When you confess it out loud, the healing begins. Even if it started with a prompt and a keyboard.”
📖 Scriptures Implied or Referenced:

• James 5:16 — Confess your sins to one another and pray for each other so that you may be healed.
• John 8:32 — The truth will set you free.
• Romans 12:2 — Be transformed by the renewing of your mind.
• Matthew 6:33 — Seek first the Kingdom…

Closing Line:

Crumb Confessional #10 — from baby prayers to sin slayers, this one’s messy and sacred. That’s the walk.

🎙️ Crumb Confessional — Episode 9

Title: A Mustard Seed in Waterloo: What Actually Happened at the First Event

Description:

This is a front-line report. No filter. No polish. Just the truth of what happened when I walked into a Kush-ravaged community in Sierra Leone with no plan but faith.

In this voice note, I reflect on:

• My 45-minute car ride with Osman (and the conversation that deserves its own episode)
• The reality of arriving in a village with no electricity, no stage, and barely 20 plastic chairs
• The unexpected crowd, the raw honesty, and the emergence of something bigger than us
• And the moment multiple villagers drew visions of a future mentorship center—before we even asked

This isn’t just about addiction. It’s about identity, dignity, and walking into brokenness with Christ instead of control.

🔥 Highlights & Timestamps:

• 00:40 – Car ride wisdom: Osman's take on Kush, culture, and human purpose
• 02:20 – The bumpy dirt road to a no-electricity village and meeting Saheed’s mom
• 03:30 – Confusion, miscommunication, and then momentum as the chairs fill
• 04:45 – From thank-yous to testimony: sharing my heart through translation
• 06:10 – The turning point: open mic from the community
• 07:00 – Cheers, grievances, and the cry for mentorship
• 08:20 – Why we must pick one village, not many
• 09:30 – The unexpected: 25+ drawings from villagers, many showing the same dream
• 11:00 – A picture of a shop wall with these words: “With God, all things are possible.”
• 12:10 – Eating spicy fish soup out of shared bowls, and the spiritual weight of it
• 13:45 – Christian and Muslim prayers, unity without compromise, and my attempt to speak the gospel
• 15:00 – Why I took the picture: if God ever builds a center here, we’ll know He started it

💥 Core Themes:

• Obedience without outcome guarantees
• Cross-cultural unity through shared suffering
• Villager-led solutions, not Western saviorism
• Mentorship > quick fixes
• Jesus at the center of chaos and connection

📖 Scriptures Lived Out:

• Matthew 17:20 – Faith like a mustard seed can move mountains
• Matthew 19:26 – With God, all things are possible
• Galatians 3:28 – There is neither Jew nor Greek… for you are all one in Christ Jesus

Closing Line:

Crumb Confessional #9 — I walked in with sweaty palms and no plan. What I left with? Unity, clarity, and proof that a mustard seed still grows in soil this broken.

🎙️ Crumb Confessional — Episode 8

Title: $7,500 vs. a Synthetic Plague: Today We Go to Waterloo

Description:

https://www.gofundme.com/f/SaveFreetown

It’s 6:37 AM. In less than 90 minutes, I’ll step into one of the hardest-hit communities in Sierra Leone—armed with a translator, a wad of Leone cash, a borrowed mic, and the Holy Spirit.

This episode is not polished. It’s not planned.

It’s a field note from the middle of a war against Kush—a synthetic drug ravaging Freetown with fentanyl-level devastation for just 25 cents a hit.

And today is our first public strike.

You’ll hear:

• My jumbled, sweaty, half-breathless prep for the event
• What faith actually looks like when you don’t have a plan, just a promise
• A quick prayer, some background on our Safe Freetown Initiative, and the story of Saheed—the former Muslim who just gave his life to Christ on Easter
• And what it’s like to walk into a broken system with nothing but open hands

🔥 Highlights & Timestamps:

• 00:45 – Today’s mission: the first public outreach event for Safe Freetown
• 01:40 – Preparing anonymous feedback cards… with no idea how this will go
• 03:10 – The culture of silence around drug use in Sierra Leone
• 04:15 – What Kush is and why it’s worse than you think
• 05:30 – “We have $7,500 and a mustard seed of faith”
• 06:40 – Saheed’s story: from Muslim culture to Christ on Easter
• 08:10 – Patagonia sling. Wad of cash. No plan but God.
• 09:30 – A closing prayer for surrender, not success

🧠 Core Takeaway:
“Today isn’t about strategy. It’s about surrender. If anything powerful happens in Waterloo—it’ll be because God showed up, not because we nailed the plan.”
💥 Context for New Listeners:

• Kush: a dangerous synthetic drug flooding West Africa, often more addictive than fentanyl, costing less than $0.25 USD per hit
• Waterloo, Sierra Leone: the community where today's outreach is taking place
• Mustard Seed Ministries: Zach and Saheed’s Kingdom initiative to fight drug addiction, poverty, and spiritual darkness
• Safe Freetown Initiative: the public-facing campaign that raised ~$7,500 to kickstart action

Crumb Confessional #8 — no polish, no certainty, just a prayer and a walk into the unknown. Let’s see what God does.

🎙️ Crumb Confessional — Episode 7

Title: God’s Will ≠ Your Third Browser Tab

Description:

At 4:43am, in a freezing conference room on the Mercy Ship, I had a revelation that honestly embarrassed me a little:

I’ve been treating God’s will like it’s one of three operating systems running in the background of my life—alongside my dreams, my daily responsibilities, and my own ambitions.

But yesterday, I realized something huge:

God’s will isn’t a competing tab.

It’s the master operating system.

It doesn’t interrupt your day. It includes it.

This is a messy, fumbly, half-awake confession about:

• How I’ve been overcomplicating obedience
• The peace that comes from shutting down extra browser tabs
• A chat with ChatGPT about whether my will could ever surpass God’s (spoiler: it can’t)
• And how to live from one question: “Is this God’s will right now?”

💡 Highlights & Timestamps:

• 00:15 – “Three operating systems”: responsibility, desire, and God’s will
• 03:10 – The daily conflict that comes from trying to run them all at once
• 05:45 – The moment ChatGPT reminded me: your will will never surpass God’s will
• 06:40 – Realizing God’s will absorbs your tasks, dreams, and needs—not erases them
• 08:00 – How this mental shift reduced anxiety, CPU usage, and decision fatigue
• 09:25 – Replacing hustle culture, overthinking, and spiritual performance with stillness
• 10:05 – Closing thoughts: one question to run your whole day

🧠 Core Takeaway:
“God’s will is not another demand on your day—it’s the operating system that makes everything else make sense.”
📖 Scriptures Referenced or Implied:

• Matthew 6:33 – “Seek first the Kingdom…”
• Ephesians 2:10 – “Prepared in advance for us to do…”
• Proverbs 3:5–6 – “He will direct your paths…”
• Romans 12:2 – “Renew your mind…”

Crumb Confessional #7 — one red square warmer, one operating system simpler, one step deeper into peace.

🎙️ Crumb Confessional — Episode 6

Title: What’s Being Stolen From You? (Real Talk on Spiritual Warfare)

Description:

This morning, I woke up groggy and disoriented—until one question snapped me back to reality:

If the enemy comes to steal, kill, and destroy… what exactly is he trying to take from me today?

In this episode, I open up about the subtle battleground of the mind, the lies I’ve agreed with, and the breakthrough that came when I finally broke them.

Also: the truth about spiritual warfare most Christians never talk about—and what I’m stepping into in less than 48 hours that scares the hell out of me (literally).

If you’ve ever felt numb, distracted, discouraged, or confused about what’s attacking your walk—listen to this one twice.

🔥 Highlights & Timestamps:

• 00:18 – The enemy’s goal: steal your fire, kill your hope, destroy your identity
• 01:25 – What spiritual warfare actually looks like (no demons in your closet, just lies in your head)
• 03:00 – “I feel called... and completely unequipped.” (Upcoming Kusha prayer event confessional)
• 04:40 – The real war: replacing Spirit-led thoughts with subtle excuses
• 06:15 – How to test every thought: “What does this belief steal, kill, or destroy in me?”
• 08:30 – Breaking false agreements disguised as humility, prudence, or safety
• 09:45 – Why yesterday’s 45-minute confession didn’t get posted—and why that matters

🛡️ Core Takeaway:
“Spiritual warfare isn’t always loud—it’s often silent, subtle, and in your head before you even notice. But if it steals your fire, kills your hope, or destroys your calling—it’s war. And you can fight back.”
📖 Scriptures Mentioned or Referenced:

• John 10:10 — “The thief comes only to steal, kill, and destroy...”
• 2 Corinthians 10:5 — “Take every thought captive…”
• Galatians 5:22–23 — Fruits of the Spirit
• Ephesians 6:12 — “Our battle is not against flesh and blood…”

Closing Line:

Crumb Confessional #6 — no theatrics, just truth: if the enemy can keep you quiet in your mind, he’ll never need to roar.

🎙️ Crumb Confessional — Episode 5

Title: Skipped a Day (and Sang About It)

Description:

No full voice note today.

No fire and brimstone.

Just a short, sung update about skipping a day, feeling the weight, and keeping some things between me and God—for now.

You’ll hear:

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• A lighthearted tune about skipping a day of posting
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• Honest tension about whether or not to share something heavy
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• A reminder that this confessional stays real—even when it stays private
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This episode is short, raw, and real. Sometimes the deepest confession is the one that waits.

Closing Line:

Crumb Confessional #5 — we skipped a day, sang it out, and got back up. That’s how sons walk.

Let me know if you want a version of this labeled “interlude” for episode sequencing on Spotify or YouTube.

🎙️ Crumb Confessional — Episode 4

Title: AI, Anxiety, and the Anchor That Holds

Description:

The world is speeding up.

AI is exploding.

Jobs are disappearing

Truth is dissolving.

And if you’re not careful, your peace will vanish with it.

Today’s voice note wrestles with Philippians 4 in the context of our modern crisis—and how Jesus is the only stability strong enough to carry the weight of tomorrow.

Also: a few thoughts on the new pope, a two-hour AI discussion that shook me, and the real threat behind the rise of synthetic intelligence.

This one is for the thinkers, the futurists, the worried, and the awake.

💡 Highlights & Timestamps:

• 00:12 – Philippians 4:6–7 (MSG): “Let Christ displace worry at the center”
• 01:35 – YouTube rabbit hole: Brett Weinstein, entrepreneurs, AI and the end of normal
• 04:20 – Why optimism without God is just sanitized delusion
• 06:45 – The myth of everyone becoming entrepreneurs in the AI age
• 08:10 – The only thing that can’t be coded: Peace rooted in Christ
• 09:35 – Key takeaways: presence > predictions, surrender > scrambling
• 10:10 – Thoughts on the new pope (cautiously optimistic)
• 10:40 – Outro and daily blessing

📖 Key Takeaway Quotes:
“Don’t build your peace on predictions. Anchor it in presence.”
“The only stability strong enough to hold the weight of tomorrow is Jesus.”
“AI can’t erase the image of God in you—unless you forget it’s there.”

Scriptures Referenced:

• Philippians 4:6–7 (MSG)
• Genesis 1:27 (Image of God reference)
• Romans 12:2 (Renewing the mind in a shifting world)

Crumb Confessional #4 — when the machines rise, make sure your soul bows to the only King who doesn’t.

🎙️ Crumb Confessional — Episode 3

Title: Let Me Do It vs. Let God Do It

Description:

It’s Monday morning. I’m sitting alone on deck 9 of the Global Mercy ship, watching the sun rise over Freetown while wrestling with one deep spiritual question:

Am I letting God do the work, or am I still trying to prove myself?

In this episode, I open up about:

• A verse that wrecked me this morning (Ephesians 2:10, MSG)
• The “let me do it” spirit of self-sufficiency—and how it shows up in Peter, religion, and my own head
• The lie that you need to be in peak shape to be used by God
• The brutal gift of sciatic pain and why I’m in awe of the people around me who carry so much more
• A closing prayer of surrender for weak bodies, full plates, and Kingdom obedience

This episode is slower. Softer. But just as surgical. If you’ve ever felt like you're too weak to be useful—this one’s for you.

🔥 Highlights & Timestamps:

• 00:34 – Reading Ephesians 2:10 in The Message translation
• 01:50 – The Holy Spirit in a random “99” on my Fitbit
• 03:05 – When grace interrupts your ego: “Let me do it” vs “Let God do it”
• 05:15 – Peter in the upper room and the illusion of self-powered religion
• 07:40 – The danger of thinking God needs your strength to use you
• 08:45 – Sciatic pain, health gratitude, and life in West Africa
• 10:00 – A raw, unscripted prayer to close it out

Mentions & Scriptures:

• 📖 Ephesians 2:10 (MSG)
• 🧠 The American “efficiency mindset” vs. Kingdom surrender
• ✝️ Peter refusing to let Jesus wash his feet (John 13)
• 🐑 Jesus leaving the 99 for the 1 (Luke 15:4)

Crumb Confessional #3 — proof that God’s power is made perfect in weakness. Even on a Monday.