Wild Obedience Man

🎙️ Crumb Confessional — Episode 43a

Title: I've let exhaustion sound like revelation

Description:

It’s the morning of June 19—Juneteenth—and I’m taking time to reset. I talk through three areas where I’ve been off, especially the confusion between emotion and discernment. I realize I’ve been speaking from burnout instead of patience, and elevating my own feelings above God’s promises. This one’s a confession and a recalibration.

I talk about:

• Letting exhaustion masquerade as spiritual insight
• Why I broadcast despair louder than God’s promises
• The tension between creative urgency and spiritual patience
• Scriptures that remind me to wait on the Lord
• Shrinking back in fear despite trusting Christ for my soul
• The danger of chasing spiritual highs instead of quiet faith
• Asking for prayer and confessing where I’ve missed the mark

💡 Highlights & Timestamps:

00:00 – Morning reset on Juneteenth and calling out where I’ve been off

03:10 – “I let exhaustion sound like revelation” and the impatience it reveals

06:45 – Emotions ≠ discernment; the danger of leaning on my own understanding

09:20 – Broadcasting despair vs. obedience to truth

12:00 – “We are not of those who shrink back and are destroyed…” (Hebrews 10)

14:40 – I’m chasing spiritual highs instead of waiting on the Lord

17:30 – Final thoughts before calling Dan, catching up with David, and signing the truck contract

📖 Scriptures Referenced:

• Psalm 37 – “Be still before the Lord and wait patiently for Him”
• Proverbs 3:5 – “Trust in the Lord with all your heart…”
• Isaiah 40 – “Those who wait on the Lord will renew their strength”
• Job 13 – “Though He slay me, yet will I trust Him”
• Luke 22 – “Not my will, but Yours be done”
• Galatians 6 – “Do not grow weary in doing good…”
• Revelation 3:19 – “Those whom I love I rebuke and discipline…”
• James 5:16 – “Confess your sins… pray for one another…”
• Hebrews 10:39 – “We are not of those who shrink back and are destroyed…”

🧠 Core Takeaway:

Impatience and burnout are not discernment. Waiting quietly on the Lord is where strength is renewed.

🙏 Closing Line:

Crumb Confessional #43a — I’ve let exhaustion sound like revelation… and I’m repenting out loud.

🎙️ Crumb Confessional — Episode 42c

Title: You're not lost, you're being refined

Description:

Of course there’s a part three—because when I fed the last confessional into ChatGPT again, it handed back ten more scriptures I couldn’t ignore. This one’s for those still walking through the dark middle, wondering if the light will come. These verses reminded me what suffering is doing in secret: purifying, refining, renewing, resurrecting. I’m not here to teach. I’m just showing what it looks like when the Word meets the wreckage.

I talk about:

• Isaiah 53:11 and the light that only appears after suffering
• Romans 12:14 and how blessing defeats evil
• Job 23:10 and why you're not gravel—you’re gold in the making
• Psalm 73:26 and the strength found in nothing but God
• 1 Peter 2:23 and how to entrust pain to the Judge
• Lamentations 3:33 and why God allows pain with purpose
• Hebrews 10:36 and the long obedience required to receive the promise

💡 Highlights & Timestamps:

00:00 – “Of course there’s a part three”

01:45 – Isaiah 53:11 – there will be light, and you will be satisfied

03:15 – Romans 12:14 – don’t curse them, overcome evil with good

05:22 – Job 23:10 – when He has tried me, I shall come out as gold

08:10 – Psalm 73:26 – “I’m strong as heck then. Hallelujah!”

10:34 – Matthew 5:11–12 – kingdom reward when insulted for Christ

13:00 – Lamentations 3:33 – God’s rod stings, but His heart is mercy

15:12 – 1 Peter 2:23 – don’t retaliate, stay crucified

17:40 – Colossians 3:13 – bear with others, forgive as God forgave you

20:05 – Hebrews 10:36 – promise comes after the will of God

22:25 – 2 Corinthians 4 – light and momentary troubles vs eternal glory

24:50 – “Don’t chase ease. Chase Jesus through the wreckage.”

📖 Scriptures Referenced:

• Isaiah 53:11 – after suffering, he will see the light of life
• Romans 12:14 – bless those who persecute you
• Job 23:10 – when He has tried me, I shall come out as gold
• Psalm 73:26 – God is the strength of my heart
• Matthew 5:11–12 – rejoice when persecuted
• Lamentations 3:33 – He does not willingly bring grief
• 1 Peter 2:23 – He did not retaliate; He entrusted Himself
• Colossians 3:13 – bear with and forgive one another
• Hebrews 10:36 – persevere to receive the promise
• 2 Corinthians 4:16–17 – being renewed through light, momentary troubles

🧠 Core Takeaway:

You’re not called to like the pain. You’re called to let it make you holy.

🙏 Closing Line:

Crumb Confessional #41c — Don’t chase ease. Chase Jesus through the wreckage, because this is how resurrection begins.

🎙️ Crumb Confessional — Episode 42b

Title: Let suffering become intercession

Description:

This is part two of today's journey, recorded after letting yesterday’s pain steep overnight. I asked AI to surface scriptures connected to the crucible I walked through, and the results wrecked me—in the best way. Each verse exposed and affirmed the raw obedience, weary faith, and tested love I shared in the last episode. I walk through them, one by one. This isn’t theology class. This is surrender, search, and Spirit.

I talk about:

• 12 surgically chosen verses about suffering, obedience, and trust
• Why suffering isn’t endured—it’s engineered for reliance
• What happens when joy becomes a spiritual weapon
• The difference between guru content and walking confession
• How I’m trying to love in the middle of pain
• Why obedience—not emotion—is the scoreboard
• Anchoring to the cross, not the cause

💡 Highlights & Timestamps:

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00:00 – “I plugged it into ChattyPT and asked for more scripture”

03:05 – 2 Corinthians 1:8–9: suffering isn’t pain, it’s pressure with purpose

06:42 – 1 Peter 4:12–13: the fire isn’t strange, it’s standard

09:30 – Romans 5:3–5: you lived the sequence—suffering to hope

13:10 – Psalm 119:71: affliction as the entry point to God’s decrees

15:24 – John 12:24: if it dies, it produces many seeds

20:18 – Galatians 6:9: the harvest comes if you don’t give up

24:40 – “I’m not your guru—I’m your brother, walking”

27:00 – Romans 5:5: ask the Spirit—Jesus, love them through me

30:15 – John 14:15: if you love Me, obey My commands

33:00 – “True life will emerge from obedience. That’s what I’m staking my life on”

📖 Scriptures Referenced:

• 2 Corinthians 1:8–9 – rely not on ourselves but on God
• 1 Peter 4:12–13 – the fire is not strange, it’s expected
• Romans 5:3–5 – suffering produces hope
• Psalm 119:71 – affliction teaches obedience
• James 1:2–4 – testing produces steadfastness
• John 12:24 – death that multiplies
• Philippians 3:10 – participation in His sufferings
• Hebrews 12:11 – painful discipline yields righteousness
• Galatians 6:9 – don’t give up; harvest is coming
• Psalm 34:18 – He is close to the crushed
• 2 Timothy 2:11–12 – if we endure, we will reign
• Matthew 7:13–14 – narrow road leads to life
• Romans 5:5 – God’s love poured into our hearts
• John 14:15 – if you love Me, obey

🧠 Core Takeaway:

Obedience in suffering is not weakness. It’s the crucible where love is forged, and trust is weaponized.

🙏 Closing Line:

Crumb Confessional #41b — The answer is always God. The answer is always obedience.

🎙️ Crumb Confessional — Episode 41a

Title: I learned trusting obedience by what I suffered

Description:

It's 5:30 AM on June 18. I woke up with more clarity and calm than I had last night—sleep really can enact a miracle. I reflect on Hebrews 5:7 from The Message and the idea that Jesus learned trusting obedience through suffering. I confess how suffering exposes the gaps in my love, my obedience, and my trust. I also update you on some backend tweaks I’m making to the Daily Crumb and why this podcast continues, even when it doesn’t make sense.

I talk about:

• Hebrews 5:7 and how Jesus learned obedience through suffering
• Why suffering is the path to trusting God
• The failure I felt yesterday in showing love
• My struggle with the recurring area of weakness God keeps surfacing
• Why Crumb is centered on truth, daily death, and eternity
• Tweaks I’m making to the DailyCrumb.com and the Beehive transition
• How I’m documenting this to show real-time obedience, not polished performance

💡 Highlights & Timestamps:

00:00 – “Nothing like a good sleep to enact a miracle”

02:40 – Hebrews 5:7 MSG: “He learned trusting obedience by what he suffered”

06:15 – The lie that life with God gets easier

10:30 – Daily death isn’t marketable, but it’s necessary

15:22 – “My standard is love—and yesterday, I failed”

21:18 – Why trust only grows where suffering demands it

26:55 – This podcast is a real-time war journal, not a teaching platform

32:40 – Update on Crumb site: moving from Squarespace to Beehive

38:50 – “If you aim at truth, daily death, and eternity…the rudder straightens”

📖 Scriptures Referenced:

• Hebrews 5:7 – “He learned trusting obedience by what he suffered”

🧠 Core Takeaway:

You don’t learn to trust God when life is easy—you learn it when obedience costs something.

🙏 Closing Line:

Crumb Confessional #41a — My life is not clean or neat, but I aim at truth, daily death, and eternity—and the rudder straightens.

🎙️ Crumb Confessional — Episode 42

Title: If I Post This, You’ll Know God Came Through

Description:

It’s Tuesday evening, June 17th at 7:21 PM. I won’t get into too much detail, but today has been very, very, very, very, very, very hard. This might be one of my last episodes. It might be the last. I don’t know if I’ll even post it. If you’re hearing this, some sort of miracle has happened. Right now, I don’t see much of a way forward with what’s going on with CRUMB. I need to go dark for at least a week and see what God does.

I talk about:

● Why this might be the final episode

● The decision to go dark for a period

● Feeling like there’s no way forward with CRUMB

● The mental space I was in while recording

● What it would mean if this gets posted

💡 Highlights & Timestamps:

00:00 – “It is a Tuesday, June 17… today has been very, very, very, very, very, very hard”

00:30 – “This might be one of my last episodes… maybe the last”

01:00 – “If I post it, you’ll know a miracle happened”

01:25 – “There’s going to be a period of at least probably a week… me going dark”

02:15 – “I don’t see much of a way forward with what’s going on with CRUMB”

🧠 Core Takeaway:

If this gets posted, it means God came through again.

🙏 Closing Line:

Crumb Confessional #42 — That’s all I have for today. Bye-bye.

🎙️ Crumb Confessional — Episode 40

Title: I might be blocking my own blessings

Description:

It’s early morning on June 16—Father’s Day—and I’m walking around my parents’ neighborhood before the whole house wakes up. We’re in town for four days before heading to Charleston for a kid-free trip. Today I go deep on the word prosper, tracing its definition, etymology, and biblical framing. I confess a deep-rooted fear of abundance and a lifelong resistance to material blessing—even when it might be from God. I process the possibility that I’ve idolized lack in the name of faithfulness and share a prayer that might mark a turning point.

I talk about:

• The Latin root of prosper and what it really means
• Five biblical truths about prosperity that go beyond money
• The concept of anti-prosperity legalism
• A ChatGPT prayer that led to my own declaration
• My fear that blessing will derail my mission
• The desire to steward wealth without worshiping it
• Wanting peace and provision without guilt

💡 Highlights & Timestamps:

00:00 – Early morning reflection on Father’s Day at my parents’ house

02:14 – The word *prosper* catches my attention on a road sign

05:40 – Etymology of prosper: “to move forward in hope”

07:33 – Five biblical principles for understanding prosperity

13:45 – Wrestling with false humility and blocking God’s blessing

18:50 – “Anti-prosperity legalism” and the fear of abundance

23:20 – Reading the prayer of release and surrender

28:50 – Acknowledging past financial failures and dreams for Kingdom wealth

33:05 – Final reflection on receiving calm and provision from God

📖 Scriptures Referenced:

• Joshua 1:8 – “Then you will have good success”
• 3 John 1:2 – “That you may prosper in every way, just as your soul prospers”
• Psalm 1:1–3 – “In all that he does, he prospers”
• Romans 8:28 – “All things work together for good…”
• Philippians 3 – “Whatever gain I had, I counted as loss…”
• Deuteronomy 8:18 – “He gives you the ability to produce wealth”
• Proverbs 10:22 – “The blessing of the Lord brings wealth…”
• Psalm 84:11 – “No good thing does He withhold…”

🧠 Core Takeaway:

To prosper in Christ is to flourish in obedience. Blocking God’s blessing out of fear isn’t faith—it’s control.

🙏 Closing Line:

If you want to build, I will not stop you anymore. Let’s go.

🎙️ Crumb Confessional — Episode 39e

Title: What if God actually is telling me to prosper?

Description:

Driving home on Father’s Day, listening to worship music and following the Spirit, I saw a billboard with the word “prosper”—and it hit me like a thunderbolt. I looked up the definition, talked it through with ChatGPT, and realized I’ve been blocking blessings out of fear and theology. The word “prosperity” has been so mangled in Christian culture that I’ve run from it, but maybe that’s exactly where God’s pointing me now.

I talk about:

• Seeing “prosper” on a billboard and sensing God’s voice
• Why the idea of prospering scares me more than dying daily
• Years of avoiding anything that smells like the prosperity gospel
• Realizing I may have resisted God's provision out of fear or pride
• Committing to keep documenting these internal shifts

💡 Highlights & Timestamps:

00:00 – Driving home, following the Spirit, billboard says “prosper”

01:35 – Looking up the definition and unpacking it with ChatGPT

03:00 – Why prosperity has felt taboo—and terrifying

04:10 – Admitting I might be blocking my own blessings

05:00 – Closing thoughts: more to come, but I’m documenting the journey

🧠 Core Takeaway:

I’ve mastered dying daily—but prospering? That might be the scariest obedience yet.

🙏 Closing Line:

More to come, more to come, more to come… just documenting it in case God wants to use it.

🎙️ Crumb Confessional — Episode 39d

Title: Today was the first day I raised both hands in worship

Description:

We’re leaving church, and I had to document something that’s never happened before: I raised both hands in worship for a full seven or eight minutes. As someone who grew up Catholic and always held back physically in church, this was a vulnerable milestone. It may sound small, but it cracked something in my spirit—another layer of pride peeled off, another act of submission laid down. On this Father’s Day, I was reminded of how good my Heavenly Father really is.

I talk about:

• Growing up Catholic and never raising hands in church
• Why it’s felt awkward or vulnerable to do it until now
• The long-standing hesitation tied to pride and fear of being seen
• A powerful Father’s Day message from the pastor who once lit my pastor’s fire
• Feeling tears fall—not from sadness but from holy submission
• Confessing a new spiritual milestone and what it might mean

💡 Highlights & Timestamps:

00:00 – Leaving church, reflecting on today’s unexpected worship moment

02:40 – Why raising both hands felt so hard—and why I finally did

04:30 – Pastor’s sermon about breaking down and calling on Jesus

06:15 – Tears falling without sadness—just surrender

07:10 – Confessing it publicly, because it marked something spiritual

🧠 Core Takeaway:

Sometimes worship is a physical confession—and even a small act like raising your hands can break something open in your spirit.

🙏 Closing Line:

That’s all I got for now. Documenting the journey.

🎙️ Crumb Confessional — Episode 39c

Title: Even a fighter like me has to put the sword down sometimes

Description:

I recorded this while driving to church, after two intense Father’s Day episodes. This one’s quieter—more of a confession about the unknown, the exhaustion, and the spiritual tension I live in. I talk about my weariness, the temptation to numb out, and the challenge of trusting God with both the chaos and the rest. I reflect on the tension between doing and surrendering, and call out to anyone listening—especially repeat listeners—to reach out and let me know why they’re still here.

I talk about:

• Wrestling with the unknown and staying faithful anyway
• My lifelong battle between numbing and trusting
• Acknowledging my spiritual fatigue and desire to rest
• The risk of turning even CRUMB or Jesus into an idol
• My longing for connection with real listeners
• Offering my phone number to hear from someone—anyone—out there

💡 Highlights & Timestamps:

00:00 – Headed to church, weary but still talking

03:22 – The tension between rest and responsibility

05:40 – Confessing the idol-making trap of “doing good”

08:10 – Wrestling with loneliness, uncertainty, and exhaustion

12:50 – An open invitation: “If you’ve listened to two episodes, text me”

15:30 – Final thoughts: forgive your dad, say the hard thing, be real

🧠 Core Takeaway:

You can be faithful and still feel tired. Just don’t let the fatigue keep you from showing up.

🙏 Closing Line:

Happy Father’s Day again… maybe today’s the day you forgive your dad or say that thing you’re afraid to say.

🎙️ Crumb Confessional — Episode 39b

Title: This is how I’m closing it on Father’s Day

Description:

This is part two, recorded from my F-150 in a condo parking lot, wrapping up thoughts from earlier and offering a prayer on Father’s Day. I reflect on the kind of man my dad was—truth-teller, steady voice, and foundational influence—and how that shaped my own boldness today. I speak directly to those without fathers and pray for chains to be broken and relationships with the Heavenly Father to be restored. I close with a blessing, a call to obedience, and a request for peace as CRUMB moves forward.

I talk about:

• Honoring my earthly father’s truth-telling on Father’s Day
• Recognizing those who’ve built into me as a dad
• A prayer for anyone missing a father—earthly or heavenly
• The vision of a kingdom for the broken, ignored, and shamed
• Asking God to squash any rebellion in my spirit
• Inviting people into the Kingdom through daily crumbs of love

💡 Highlights & Timestamps:

00:00 – Picking up from part one, honoring my dad’s influence

01:55 – A blessing over those without a father

03:45 – Prayer for restored relationship with the Heavenly Father

06:22 – Vision of God’s Kingdom as a place for the sick and shamed

08:00 – Asking God to squash rebellion and lead people to Jesus

09:10 – Closing benediction and Father's Day send-off

🧠 Core Takeaway:

Even if you’re fatherless, you have a Father. And He is calling you into a holy, vibrant, eternal relationship through daily obedience and surrender.

🙏 Closing Line:

Happy Father’s Day to all y’all out there. God bless you.