Win-Win Leadership

Your team belongs at the table, but do they feel like they matter?

On this episode of Win Win Leadership, Dr. Karen McDaniel sits down with John R. Miles, a U.S. Naval Academy graduate, 13-year naval officer, four-time Fortune 50 executive, and host of the Passion Struck podcast, where he has interviewed more than 700 leaders. John's new book, The Mattering Effect, explains why loneliness, disengagement, and burnout are not separate problems but symptoms of one root cause: people no longer feeling that they matter.

John shares his story, from a childhood traumatic brain injury and a teacher who told him he'd never amount to anything, to "disappearing" inside the high-performing systems he led. He explains the difference between belonging and mattering, outlines the six conditions of mattering (meaning, autonomy, trust, time, energy, and reciprocity), and tells how he turned the most disengaged team in a 350,000-person company into a model for the whole organization by becoming a "gardener leader."

You'll also hear why engagement surveys miss the real story, how to spot a trust problem by finding where your organization is quietest, what "return on energy" means for frontline supervisors, and why AI makes the human side of leadership more important, not less.

If you lead people, this conversation will change how you think about performance.

📘 Get The Mattering Effect: matteringeffect.com
🎙️ Learn more about John: johnrmiles.com
📖 Selected for the Next Big Idea Club's October must-read list

Subscribe to Win Win Leadership for more conversations on authentic, collaborative leadership where everyone can rise.

What You'll Learn

• The critical difference between belonging and mattering, and why capable leaders often miss it
• Why engagement surveys can give a false picture of how employees really feel
• The six conditions of mattering: meaning, autonomy, trust, time, energy, and reciprocity
• Why you must restore mattering in yourself before you can create it for others
• How to move from servant leader to gardener leader, and give autonomy within clear boundaries
• How to diagnose a trust problem ("people speak with their feet")
• Why reciprocity is the "shared seesaw" and how the "mattering tax" shows up as burnout and disengagement
• How to measure return on energy and protect your frontline supervisors
• The Deliberate Action Process: analyze, prioritize, ignite, execute, measure, renew
• Why AI makes the human dividend the new competitive advantage
• The one thing to do tomorrow so your team feels they matter

Timestamps00:00 – Welcome & introducing John R. Miles
01:00 – A childhood brain injury and the speech therapist who made him matter
04:00 – The teacher who said he'd never amount to anything
06:00 – Disappearing inside the systems he led
07:30 – Belonging vs. mattering
08:30 – Why engagement surveys miss the real story
10:00 – "Erasure by design": the root cause behind loneliness and burnout
12:00 – Mattering isn't instead of performance; it drives it
13:30 – The true cost of the mattering gap
15:30 – The six conditions of mattering
18:30 – Why mattering starts with yourself
20:00 – The condition leaders get wrong most: autonomy
21:00 – Lowe's: leading the most disengaged team in a 350,000-person company
24:00 – From servant leader to gardener leader
26:30 – Failure as a teaching moment ("the glass is refillable")
28:00 – Rebuilding trust: people speak with their feet
31:00 – Reciprocity and the shared seesaw
33:00 – Return on energy: protecting frontline supervisors
35:00 – Building a culture of significance: Lowe's vs. Dell
38:00 – The Deliberate Action Process
40:00 – Why leaders struggle with execution: your "because" before your "why"
41:30 – Mattering in negotiations and tough conversations
43:30 – AI and the mattering dividend
45:00 – Authenticity and the pyramid of mattering
46:00 – The one thing leaders should do tomorrow
47:00 – Where to find John and The Mattering Effect
48:00 – Final thoughts: creating the conditions to flourish

Chantell Preston has spent more than two decades building companies, leading healthcare organizations, and advising executives on growth and transformation. In her new book, The Success Lie, she challenges the idea that achievement has to come at the expense of your health, relationships, or sense of self.

In this episode of Win/Win Leadership, Karen McDaniel sits down with Chantell to talk about redefining success, escaping the perfection trap, setting boundaries, and building a leadership style that actually lasts — without burning out or losing yourself along the way.

They cover:
- The biggest lie about success Chantell believed for 25 years
- The kitchen moment with her daughter that changed everything
- Confidence vs. self-worth — and why they're not the same thing
- How to set boundaries without guilt
- Why "empowerment" is talked about more than it's practiced
- The Win Strategy: figuring out what's important right now
- Why perfection doesn't exist (and what to aim for instead)
- Integrating career, family, and personal growth without constant guilt
- Building self-trust and getting out of your own head

Connect with Chantell Preston
Website: chantellepreston.com
Podcast: Get Real Get Results
Book: The Success Lie — available on Amazon and major retailers
Instagram/LinkedIn: @chantelle_preston

Timestamps
00:00 – Intro: Meet Chantell Preston
00:40 – Welcome to Win/Win Leadership
01:07 – The biggest lie about success Chantell believed
02:18 – The moment her pursuit of success stopped working
03:26 – What success looked like from the outside vs. inside
04:50 – The kitchen moment with her daughter
05:41 – Self-confidence vs. self-worth
08:21 – Setting boundaries to protect your peace
10:09 – The one-hour meeting with herself
13:00 – Why "I'll just do it myself" hurts your team
14:14 – The power of empowering others
17:10 – The Win Strategy: what's important right now
19:08 – Work/life "integration" instead of balance
20:24 – Talking to her kids about traveling for work
22:26 – Quality time vs. quantity time
26:01 – Perfectionism: does it help or hurt the team?
29:08 – What self-trust looks like in leadership
33:22 – What's the worst that could happen?
34:47 – Leadership burnout: workload vs. self-imposed pressure
40:00 – Authenticity and aligning values, words, and actions
43:39 – Firing an employee with compassion
46:08 – Final thoughts: define success for yourself
46:42 – Where to find Chantell and her book

Most leaders look successful on paper. Behind the scenes, many feel burned out, disconnected, and stuck.In this episode of Win-Win Leadership, Dr. Karen McDaniel sits down with leadership advisor Tony Martignetti to break down what’s really causing that quiet exhaustion.

You’ll learn why leaders feel fragmented, how authenticity becomes a strategic advantage, and how integrating all parts of yourself leads to better performance, not less.

Tony shares insights from his upcoming book Illuminating Hidden Brilliance and explains how leaders can move from performance mode to true presence.If you’ve felt burned out, stuck, or disconnected in your work, this conversation gives you a clear path forward.

Key Takeaways
Burnout often comes from hiding parts of yourself, not working too hard
Authenticity builds trust and unlocks performance
Leaders drain energy when they play roles instead of showing up fully
Chaos reveals your true leadership, not your plan
Integration drives innovation and better decisions
Presence matters more than performance in modern leadership

Chapters
00:00 Why leaders feel exhausted
00:52 Meet Tony Martignetti
01:42 Authenticity and the ripple effect
02:44 The real cause of burnout
04:41 Burnout vs boreout
06:02 Why organizations limit leaders
07:33 Leaving the room to change the room
08:52 When your life becomes too small
10:11 Rediscovering identity and creativity
12:53 Why adults need to play again
14:47 The Canvas Model explained
16:54 Authenticity vs transparency
18:37 Why chaos is a catalyst
20:19 Leading through uncertainty
22:04 Integration drives better outcomes
23:49 How to find your hidden strengths
25:32 Designing environments where people thrive
28:19 Performance vs presence
31:35 The trap of constant doing
33:43 Alignment vs performance
35:47 One simple shift leaders can make
37:42 The future of leadership
39:01 About the book and where to follow Tony

Conflict is not the problem in your team. Avoiding it is. In this episode of Win-Win Leadership, Dr. Karen McDaniel sits down with Matthew Abrams, author of Inviting Genius, to break down why the best leadership teams lean into conflict instead of avoiding it.

Matthew shares how productive conflict drives better decisions, stronger relationships, and real accountability, and why most leaders struggle with it.

🎯 Key Takeaways:
Why the best teams argue more than average teams
The difference between productive and destructive conflict
What leaders misunderstand about psychological safety
How to turn disagreement into trust and alignment
A simple framework to handle hard conversations
Why avoiding conflict leads to poor execution and weak teams

If you lead a team, run a company, or want better conversations at work or at home, this episode gives you a clear path forward.

📘 Learn more about Matthew Abrams: https://invitinggenius.com

⏱️ CHAPTERS (Timestamps)
00:00 Why great leaders use conflict
00:27 Why most teams avoid hard conversations
02:50 Productive vs destructive conflict
04:00 Why leaders struggle with conflict
06:00 What conflict fluency looks like
08:00 Listening to understand vs respond
09:27 The hidden cost of “keeping the peace”
11:00 Why people are afraid to speak honestly
13:18 Psychological safety myths
17:00 How leaders create safe environments
20:00 Signs your team is polite, not honest
23:00 Accountability problems explained
27:00 Tools for better communication
30:16 Why companies stall as they grow
33:26 The real cost of avoiding conflict
36:34 The conversation leaders avoid most
38:49 How to get better at conflict today
40:27 The PEACE framework explained
45:01 How to recover when conflict escalates
47:30 The power of the pause
48:47 Creating accountability after conflict
50:58 Final leadership advice

Most leaders were trained for a world that no longer exists.

In this episode of Win-Win Leadership with Karen McDaniel, global leadership strategist Caroline Stokes breaks down why the old leadership playbook is failing and what leaders must do to adapt in a world shaped by AI, rapid change, and rising pressure.

Drawing from her book Aftershock 2030, Caroline explains why leadership is not broken, it is being forced to evolve.

You will learn:

• Why traditional leadership models are falling apart
• How AI is reshaping decision making and team dynamics
• The role of emotional intelligence in modern leadership
• Why internal awareness matters more than external control
• How leaders build trust and psychological safety in uncertain times

This is a conversation about what leadership looks like next and how to stay relevant as the rules change.

⏱️ TIMESTAMPS (Chapters)
00:00 Why Leadership Is Breaking Down
00:45 Meet Caroline Stokes
01:30 Why Aftershock 2030 Matters
04:00 The Old Leadership Playbook Is Dead
06:45 Emotional Intelligence Meets AI
08:30 Can AI Replace Coaches and Therapists?
11:25 Leadership Starts Internally
16:45 Big T vs Little T Trauma Explained
20:40 Why Leaders Lack Self Awareness
23:50 Transformation and Leadership Growth
27:30 The Gap Between Words and Actions
30:10 Psychological Safety Explained
33:00 How Leaders Build Trust
34:30 How Fast AI Is Really Moving
37:50 What Win-Win Leadership Looks Like with AI
39:30 One Shift Leaders Should Make Today
41:30 Why Perfection Kills Progress
43:30 Elephants Before Unicorns Explained
45:00 What Leadership Looks Like in 2030
48:30 Where to Find Caroline Stokes