Wine, Whine, and Once

Wake up bestie! New Baelfire backstory just dropped and apparently he's the reason Rumple is the murder-hungry dark one we know and hate. You know, Bae--the kid that grew up to be Neal. The adult man that famously hates all magic and would never use the dagger?

It just goes to show you stuff, I guess!

It's a BAD time!

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'No Survivors' sums up how we feel after this episode. Between Wish Robin, Manic-David, Murderous Hook, and the absence of donkeys wearing hats, this was an EXHAUSTING hour of television!

But on the plus side, we learned that Emma has a secret pastime love for canoes. Obviously.

It's a BAD time!

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Well gang, it's been about 3.5 episodes since the show did something earth shattering and diabolical to Regina. So I guess that means we're well overdue for a plot that is equal parts cruel and insane! And this episode is merely the setup!

Oh yeah and also Emma and Regina make it back to their realm.

It's a BAD time!

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We're all here for a whimsical AU setting. A 'what might have been', if you will. However, we simply CANNOT sit quietly and let Emma become a simpering princess all because she isn't the Savior!!! And don't get us started on Neal (too late, we get started).

Also the Evil Queen's a snake. Not because she's evil or vindictive. She's just an actual, slithering snake.

It's a BAD time!

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We SIMPLY can't be doing this again. We refuse-- r e f u s e -- to watch another insta-labor with our own eyeballs. Why is this just a thing now? Pregnant women of Storybrooke-- leave. Run. Risk being a tree. We have to assume anything is better than this instant aging bullshit!

It's a BAD time!

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Words I never thought I would have to type, and yet here we are. You're all so welcome! Though all things considered, the family dildo might not be the most bonkers thing in this episode, so buckle up!

We have realms behind mirrors, switcheroos, high school prom, the Dragon (who STILL simply did not die) and more!

It's a BAD time!

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No, you see, we actually think it's really cool that six seasons into the show we're retconning how the Charmings met. It's good for us! It's really great that they took their entire plot of how they met and threw it away!

It's also really good news that the show confirmed that Regina did want to get with Rumple. Isn't this SO much fun for everyone!

It's a BAD time!

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Ah yes! It's time for our favorite untold story! 20,000 Leagues Under the Sea, and more importantly, the return of Liam (the second), and the return of the useless superpower!

It's a BAD time!

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Did you like the movie Aladdin? Enough to watch it almost in its entirety but with minimal OUAT flair? And also Aladdin's the savior and has a cockney accent for GOD knows why. If that's your jam, this episode was actually made just for you and nobody else.

It's a BAD time!

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Don't you just hate it when your main villain for the season dies after exactly four episodes? Anyway, Jekyll AND Hyde are both dead. So what's we're going to do for the rest of the season is beyond us. Oh, and Princess Jasmine is here. For reasons!

It's a BAD time!

We want to hear from you! Email us at [email protected] and follow us on Instagram @winewhineandonce.