Memories make us who we are today.
Experience shapes us and never goes away.
For many years I pushed them down.
But look at all the good it has done,
When I cannot be open, how I feel today!
For a while there, it was touch and go.
I really could not decide,
If I had the strength, to face my past.
Or if I should keep it, locked inside.
Seconds tick by, then hours then days.
My friend is long gone, took the easy way.
Over time, like oil, I spilled self-worth.
Wasted seconds, a wasted birth.
As the March of time, went happily by.
All I could do. was hide and cry.
Hating myself, for all I had become.
Hoping for a sign, from anyone.
It will be okay; it may take some time.
Your wounds will heal, you will be fine.
But standing on the motorway.
I was ready, to go, the other way.
A screech or two of brakes.
In an instant I would be gone.
Who would miss me, for god-sakes?
And then, one night, just driving home.
The penny dropped, like a lucky stone.
All at once, my demons rose.
And I felt much lighter, in my toes.
Now, I am me, and time has shown.
That with hope, and love, I was never alone.
For they were with me, along the way.
And gave me strength, in becoming Jay.
